Around here the only meal we love more than Friday Night Dinner is Brunch, so of course, we had to devote an entire episode to it. However, due to the full Moon, Mercury in retrograde, our lack of physical brunch, or some confluence of them all, we ended up pretty bitter. Enjoy our feelings on brunch etiquette, food quality, reservations, and brief segue into Jae’s road trip playlist, with about 6 extra dashes of Bitters.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
I pledge myself to the pod loyal I'll always be a P to start a D at the end, and an O sitting in between.
Welcome back to In Omnia Paratus I'm Jae like the letter.
And I'm Angela, also known as avo
last night was a full moon and I'm going on about four hours of sleep. So this intro is going to be a little shorter because I don't feel like pulling up the other one.
How are you doing? Oh my god, I'm okay. I similarly did not get a lot of sleep as well. But I'm not sure that mine was necessarily related to the full moon.
I don't know, my nightmares got bad over the last four days. And apparently that's like when the full moons have been happening. So I don't know. Maybe there's something to that. astrology, astronomy, crystals, essential oils. thing?
You know, my
friend did tell me that it's either today or tomorrow that Mercury's going into retrograde? And isn't that when everything's supposed to get really weird?
I feel like mercury going into retrograde just became a thing last year. It might have been the first time in our lifetime that it like ever happened. But I did not hear about it until last year. And now I feel like every three months, something's in retrograde. Like, is it that everyone just cares now? Or did we create this?
I honestly have no idea.
I like it feels like every other month. It's like, Oh, yeah, Mercury's in retrograde, Venus is in retrograde. And then it lasts for weird amounts of time to like, like, I
don't know, to me, it
seems that it should maybe last like the same length of time, every time if it's like the same planet. Like if Mercury's going into retrograde it should be three days every time but then she was telling me like, Oh, yeah, it's gonna be in retrograde for two weeks. I have no idea. But that's really interesting, because I've been having really weird dreams the past three nights to not a great start. But it's okay. I have a little quiz for you. As I know, Okay, I'm ready.
Over the last three days as my depression has kind of gotten worse. I saw this tech talk about someone like going through playlists called like, main character 2000. So I made my own. And in the process of making my own, I made a playlist that's 21 hours and 30 minutes long. And I'm still adding to it. Okay, it was 13 hours. The last time we talked about this. Yeah, I added more. So we're gonna have to drive across the country now. Well, first, you have to get your license, but sure.
Oh, hate driving.
So there are two songs I'm going to tell you and you need to tell me what iconic 90s 2000s This song is used in in both examples. Okay. So for example, this will be an everlasting love is at the end of two very iconic movies. What are they? Oh, the Parent Trap? Yes. Oh, Natalie Cole. Are they both the Natalie Cole version? Or is it was one Nat King Cole. Okay.
Are they related?
He's her father. Oh, that's nice. Um, it's not 13 going on? 30.
It's not a Cinderella story. Why do I keep thinking of those two?
There are two very important people in your life who are screaming at you right now. Not me to others because this is one of their favorite movies.
Is it a Cinderella story?
Yes, it is.
I don't know if you got that because that was kind of like a that was like a half answer. Okay. It
does not immediately jump out to me, but I can. I can't hear it. But I can kind of see it now because I remember that. Oh, I can't remember her name in the movie. But Hilary Duff's character is like, walking us through like everything that happened. Yes, Sam. Thank you. Yes, Sam is walking us through everything that happened after they found her father's will.
God forbid I remember what I saw my to do list for today, but asked me Hilary Duff's character in anything and
less than five seconds. Okay,
see, well, at least then your lack of sleep is related to something outside of your control. I didn't get any sleep because I wanted to try to finish call me by your name. You've never seen it. No, I'm reading the book right now. Oh my god. It's It's beautiful. It's exquisite. It's decadent. Basically. I read that last night. And then there's another one too. That's maybe even better than that.
I don't know if it's in the movie. I kind of skim the movie honestly. I don't know. armie hammer gave me weird vibes he always has. And now I have reason for his weird vibes. Really? You didn't hear?
You know, I'm not good with this. I keep up with what goes on in the story, not with what goes on in these actors real lives.
Jayla got him kicked off a movie armie hammer. He was commenting about like cannibalism and like sexual fantasies and like a whole bunch of weird shit online.
I'm not fully cuz you get too fast. But
are we ever and why he's getting canceled this year? But also apparently, like lively got him canceled off Gossip Girl for thrown off.
Huh ready for your next day? I am us against the world by one of my favorite childhood bands play who I did not know we're not American until us the world. I can play you a clip if you need it. I think so. Sorry listeners. You'll you won't be hearing this. Because I don't know the laws and I don't really want to look them up.
Oh, I'm model behavior. No.
Dang it. Oh, our multitrack I can keep playing this.
Oh, okay. Cool. Okay, and it's in a movie. One movie in one TV show. Okay. Oh, okay. I keep picturing Hilary Duff again. So I'm gonna go with Lizzie McGuire, get your younger. Okay, childhood, but I did realize oh, well. I don't know what else younger bridgerton was on younger, which I did not realize when she was on there. She was so much more useful on younger. Like, they were in New York and she was like, Oh, I want to say a farmer. But like, I feel like oh my God, that's might be real wrong. She's Irish. I swear she was a farmer. Again. fact check me and then the second one. Oh, see, I've never seen younger so that's gonna be a little hard to internet help me
out. Phoebe Denver and younger. They're probably gonna keep true. That's true. But yeah. Any guesses on the movie?
Is it also Disney? No. Okay. Oh, is it what a girl wants? No. Okay. Is it sleep over?
No. Okay, that reminded me I have some songs to add. I hope it does. I'm gonna send you a link to open but I hope it doesn't say the title or I'm gonna be really upset. Okay, okay. Just open the video and you'll see. Okay, and then you can tell the listeners what I sent you. Okay, is it Zen caster?
Okay. Oh, wait, wait, is that megan fox? Yes. Okay. I don't think I've ever seen this movie. But right now listeners I am watching Megan Fox and her debut friend. Oh, really? I think okay, yeah. So I'm watching Megan Fox and her friends walk through a club and these guys are coming up to her and she's just casually throwing them off like, okay,
so I'm going to explain a little more. This is from holiday in the sun one of the Mary Kate and Ashley movies, where they want to go to Hawaii but their parents God forbid fly them on their private jet to the Bahamas. And megan fox is the heir to the hotel and like the mean girl in this film. White. Yeah. Before Confessions of a teenage drama queen. I think so crazy.
I assumed you would have seen the Mary Kay national movies. Is that just me? Did anyone else watch those? Oh,
I totally did. But I don't think I've watched them pass third grade. Like I haven't seen one sense. I know. I have the old like VHS tapes. Let's that boy. Please. Please tell me you actually had VHS tapes like the video cassette tapes that you would get from like a blockbuster or something back when you did video rentals. Let's a blockbuster. Oh, I
really hope you're kidding. Oh my god,
like blockbuster was definitely around until What? Like eighth grade. So seventh grade for you? Yes.
We had blockbuster.
On kindergarten had a VHS player. I know what it is. I just I thought you would take it more sarcastically but then when you didn't I just let you go with it. My silence was deadly.
really don't know.
Okay, here's your last one. And I'm sure you've seen this one. Okay, itty bitty pretty one. I don't know who the original artist or who's the one who sings it Matilda. And one of my favorite movies. Maybe not to you, but I've told other influences would have my favorite movie. Oh my god. Okay, you should know. Is it set to a shopping scene? No. Okay. A makeover. No. Is it another cleaning scene? No.
I mean, I would not say makeover May. You might argue with me. But I think if you call it a makeover, it's a very very, very like loose definition of a makeover. She's All That no dang it on is not one of my favorite movies.
You talk about it all the time because it bothered me so much that all she did was take her glasses off and shake her hair out of out of a flippin clip. And all of a sudden everything. She's so beautiful. How could no one tell prior to this? Oh my god. She wears clothes that fit now like she's beautiful. Or this is just like the dateline conversation of last weekend when I thought that you loved dateline, but actually you hated dateline. Yes. Okay, I think I'm gonna need a lifeline. It's one of the movies I suggested. We've recreated for our photoshoot. They don't use this on the Princess Diaries. Yes, they do. They do. They do what what scene where me is changing at the back of the limo. Which is why like if you want to consider that a makeover of maybe it's where she's fumbling to the back and Joe's like driving her to the grandma's house for the first time or something. I will pull up the scene right now.
I literally This is not in my memory. entertain the audience. Hi, audience. So just if you're, if this seems a little out of left field for you, Jay actually came up with this game a few days ago and she was quizzing me in another session. And ironically, the first song that she used to cap this off was shut up and drive by Rihanna. And she wanted us to figure out what year the song came out in. And I was very correct. It was 2008. And my recall for it was a Gossip Girl episode where it was used. And I actually just watched that this morning, so I feel super proud of myself because I was spot on. And it was the wild brunch episode. If anyone is interested season one, Episode Two,
I can't find the scene but like I can everyone put it on the soundtrack list for sure. But like I can tell you it's the scene where she's changing in the limo. Okay, I'm
going to watch this after after the episode. I'm sure one of my streaming services has The Princess Diaries on it. And if not, I will plug in my VCR. Disney plus. Oh, right. Right. So my streaming service. Okay, we have a boutique between us. I think we have six streaming services seven.
Well, we both have Netflix, I pay for Disney plus, and then I traded one of my friends, unfortunately, give me their HBO max. And then I use Angeles, Hulu. So it's kind of a nice cooperative. We have going 10 out of 10 recommend. Oh yeah, I think everyone should do this. Just no one you're in a relationship with until there's a ring? Because I just think that's risky. Oh yeah. Or if you do share with someone who you're not married to change the password as soon as you break up? No. So we have those. And then I also have Showtime, Starz. And Cinemax. Maybe, yeah. Oh, and then we get amazon prime video. So that's a while we have a lot be your friends
use our streaming services.
Oh, Disney plus, did I say Disney? I did say Disney. Yeah.
Wow, can you can you hear my friend Jae,
we're talking about one of my favorite things today. The only time of the day anyone should be excited to eat brunch gear here. And I also saw your notes here. And I already have a contention point and the starting time for brunch? I think we always go around 11. But I'm always down to go like closer to 10 1030.
Because not run out as breakfast.
No, it's not breakfast is from seven to nine. No,
no breakfast is from seven to 1030. According according to most restaurant menus, so you can get brunch when you go at Penn. Well, yeah, you can the brunch menu is open, they've extended they've expanded brunch menus to practically the entire day, because restaurants can make a ton of money off of it. But the typical time for brunch is set between 11am and 2pm. It's almost as big as 11 to four in some places, it goes to four I tend to favor 10 3011 1030 knots or before 11 I will concede to 1030. But the way branches normally go, you should be there by 10. Because you're not eating until 10 3011. So if you're going by time of consumption 11 will make sense if you're going by time of event 10 is reasonable,
Well, let's see. Can I give you a little bit of the history of brunch and see if this affects your opinion?
You can unless all of my friends suddenly became punctual militants. I don't see me changing my mind about the time in which it's going to take us to wait in line based on the time it takes for them to get to brunch. But sure, What's here?
Okay, well, I mean, first of all, that is fair, that's understandable. But also I would like to point out that most of your friends who you eat brunch with are coming from outside of your area, we're already getting up like an extra hour or so earlier to make that time and then you get bacon flights.
So it's not even really see me it's to get the bacon flavor. So I don't know if I take that on or it's like I want to eat and you just happen to live closer. So you can come. But I mean, we mainly do a lot of brunch places around you.
So like I feel like there's a there's a slight correlation there brunch. Seeing j slate requires an extra hour for us. Okay, but going back to the history of brunch. So brunch is a meal has actually been around for more than a century. So everyone who wants to talk about millennials like bringing this rise to brunch culture and everything like that. It's not really true. It has historical attachments to the large meals that were served after church services because of fasting rules, and has also been tied to the mixture of food served after hunts hosted by royalty across Europe. So these meals typically had the usual breakfast fare, but they also featured a large selection of sweets and pastries and additional meat delicacies because hunting and so actually Another fun fact here too. The word brunch was first used in print in 1895. And was actually an article that called for the end of brunch showing us that brunch Raiders have been around forever. And this is not a problem brought on by millennials. Again, we are merely just the latest in a long chain of people who have soldiered on in this battle. then fast forward to the 1900s where brunch was given life in the United States and rose to prominence socially in Chicago through hotels that cater to members of Hollywood who are traveling cross country and would often arrive in the city around 11am when it was not quite breakfast, but also too early for lunch hotels created Small unique menus with a decadent flair to appeal to the tastes and glamour associated with the film industry. And it was only after witnessing the success of this niche that restaurants jumped on board and brunch access began to expand across America. So basically the takeaway here is thank you Chicago, Hollywood and most likely Marie Antoinette for brunch. And historically, it shows us brunch was around or after 11am
Yes, but when I have a castle and servants, chefs cooks brunch being at 11am me being the queen, Princess, amazing person I am. Every human needs to be there at 11am because that's when the food will be going down. not waiting in line for 45 minutes to an hour ahead before food is consumed.
Have we ever waited
40? Oh, we have okay.
I think 90 minutes is the cat.
Granted we really love this place too.
I mean, I think we've waited at least an hour and multiple places.
I mean, I think when you factor in wait times that does balance out but if you have a reservation 11 and on name two times we've had reservations, okay, we could have reservations, but there's usually someone in our brunch party who wants bottomless mimosas and bottomless Mimosa places tend to not have reservations, because they already have table limits.
I can't think of more than one place that takes reservations, really, maybe two, and it's not bottomless dependent. Both these places have bottomless there's two places allow reservations, most of them don't, they don't need to. And I don't consider reservations where you like have to sign in on Yelp. I mean, like you can call like a week ahead and say I want to table x. Oh, no,
I agree. Okay, I feel like we're gonna have to compare lists after this. Because I thought there were definitely like four or five that we've been to that we have considered going to then two. I think we've only been to one that has allowed reservations. We've been to two I think one was the one with your twin. Was that the was that the divey one yet? Like the secret one? Okay, yeah,
that and then the one we went to with the cornflake not the cornflakes french toast the
captain crunch french toast Captain Crunch pancakes.
Yeah, those are the only two that take reservations. To my knowledge.
Okay. All right. I know I know a couple on the other side of the bay that take reservations tail, but still most don't. meaning you're gonna wait 30 minutes to an hour. Which brings us to our next question is the weight worth? It
depends on how busy your life is and how much you prioritize standing for trendy food places.
I mean, even if it's not trendy, I think it comes down to is like is the food good? Because if you have subpar food, then the weight is not worth it at all.
I want to say that but I feel like with any place pre pandemic, unfortunately, some still during the pandemic on a Saturday or Sunday, you will see a wait at every place that serves brunch on any city. Well, most a lot of cities.
Oh yeah. Because branches, branches of social experience as well. Like for a lot of places. You're not just going for the food.
My point is you don't know if it's worth waiting again until you've had the food but you're willing to eat the initial time regardless of prior knowledge of the food quality.
But then afterwards, if it's not good, I think that's where the regret comes in. I don't know. I might just have too big of emotions tied to the quality of my food. We all know I've I've cried after french fries that were bad. Like I don't know if I've ever been disappointed and never gone back to a brunch spot. What about the one place with the cutesy name sorry for being so vague everyone. We're not trying to cancel any brunch spots.
I have another letter M is the one where we went with Yes. See, I feel like there's more than one factor because yeah, not the best food, cold food but cold outside. And also they did cheaper bottomless the most of the places. So I feel like it's all cost benefit ratio of like what you're looking for, because I think their bottom was was like 15 to 12 as opposed to like the 2025. And the food was also cheaper. So it's like what are you looking for that day? Cheap brunch with friends so you can go partake in other activities, high quality food for one meal, high quality food for multiple meals. How much are you drinking throughout the day, all of these will play into the factors of what, which places chosen. See, I always go quality of food also
going back to that
place like oh, like I'll go to other places. I've only been there once. No, you've been there at least twice because you're the one who said to go there. No, I told you to go there because you were looking for a place that was near some other place that you wanted to go to that day.
But you know, you went there with someone else and you're Oh, it was fine. That's why we went there. Yeah, that was the one time that a win because you went there with your you went with your bank or something. You went there with someone else. And I'm like 90% sure you went there was someone else's The reason we went there because it was convenient, but you also stamped it. No, I
know. I'd only been the ones and you were looking for a place to go by you. Yes, you
went once and then we all went together.
No I didn't go with you.
Yes, you did.
You know I did. Was there
eight outside. I gave you presence.
No, that was a different place.
Oh, I'm so confused. We're talking about that. Yes, you did. You came with me. No, I didn't. We exchanged gifts there. I gave you guys a rehearsal.
Do I have to do I have to drive to folks right now? We either want that would have never been there with you. Or either of them. Were you supposed to come? No, I wasn't invited. You know, you are 100% invited to this. Either you were there or you canceled? I don't think I was invited. You are 100% invited because I would not have gone there. Otherwise. No, we did. We did the gift exchange if no, yeah, no.
No, we did not do a gift exchange.
I don't think I ever would have eaten outside. Because the area is way too crowded.
I don't know. But I've been there once a year you were supposed to be there. Or you were there. One or the other.
I'm still going with I didn't go and I wasn't invited that is not leaking. Oh my god, you left me out kind of way. But like you had separate plans with other people that I was not going to attend? No, that happened with but you are 100% invited to this plan.
This is gonna be so fun for you to edit.
And most of this has to come out because like we start using people's it. Yeah. Flipping text my twin and like, right.
Okay, I'm gonna text her right now. Alright, so basically, we've discovered that it's kind of a draw, whether or not the weight is worth it is up to your own opinion, your circumstances, factors of time over food quality over drink selection. So basically know what you're looking for when you pick your brunch spot and choose accordingly. Okay, so Jay, what do you what do you look for is the most important thing and a typical brunch, I normally just go off photos, the way I discovered one of my favorites is one of my friends tagged it on Instagram. And then I went there with another one of my friends and it was really good. I just think pictures are really good. Because one not everyone's the same level of like photographer so you really a good picture of how the food is, depending on the different photos we will post. And then when I go I typically always start off personally always ordering, kind of like the basic breakfast of eggs, bacon potatoes kind of thing. Because if you can't do that, right, I don't really trust your more fancy items.
Oh, that's an interesting metric. I do the same thing with cupcake shops. That totally makes sense. It really is disappointing how many cupcake places are not the best? Alright, so in your basic breakfast, do you usually go toast or pancakes?
I don't know what basic breakfast places you're going to where pancakes is offered over toast without like extra fees?
Is it? Is it? Is it not worth? Is it not worth the fee to get the pancakes?
No, because normally, ideally, you should satisfy your own food hunger level independently. But also always have a little room to try something new for the group. So typically, I always go savory personally, because that's what I want more. And then we'll get someone to share something sweet with me on the side. That's fancier whether it's deep fried french toast, a matcha, pancake, souffle, pancake, that kind of stuff.
Now I think I do the same but an opposite, I usually get the sweet and then I ask someone if we can share a savory no fee, because I like to end with the savory. So I'd rather start with the sweet. And then once we've established how we want to share the savory then we can go from there.
Hey, remember when I made you switch meals with me in Paris because I thought there were cheese in the eggs. Because in France, they just do them particularly runny. And it scared me. Oh yeah,
those are those are really good eggs.
I know as soon as we confirm there definitely was no cheese in them. I could eat them. If they do. Similarly in frickin Japan, from what I've seen, they let their eggs so runny that it looks like there's cheese in them. And I'm not a cheese person. So like, it really scared me.
I think particularly because they don't i don't know exactly what we do in this country that makes our eggs yellow. But in other countries, they're not yellow. And that's just their typical egg form. So it really does look like they got a little chattery they don't pump their chickens with a bunch of cannibals probably that No, but I think overall, when you're going to brunch with anyone, it really is all about that balance of sweet to savory items. And then also this is part of my do's and don'ts as well. But be prepared to share food. If you're going to brunch and you're not the kind of person who like wants to order something for the table, then please let that be known ahead of time. Because half the fun of brunch is sampling all the different items.
I don't fully agree with that. Really similarly to the whole on a plane face mask thing. Put your own face mask on first. So plan your own hunger accordingly and then be open to sharing. I don't think it's a mandatory thing. You don't always have to share. Okay, are you saying there this is also a distinction for me, which might be getting like to my new there's a difference between Oh, can I share and try something off your plate then oh, let's order another full thing for the table. For me. That's a difference.
So I think that both are valid. I think that if you're going home at times Print Yes, pre Corona times, I think if you're going to a place that does a lot of small plates, like there's a Spanish tapas breakfast place that I know of where everything that you get is meant to be shared. So you get two or three of one thing. And so if the people who you're going with like really want their own items, it is a little weird when you're ordering like, Oh, can I have four plates of empanadas? Can I have four plates of meatballs like, just going like down the line. So each of you have like six or seven plates in front of you that are only for yourselves. But I think that that's
topics are not the typical brunch situation. Like that's like the same thing isn't going to dim sum and not sharing. I don't think if you go to a Mel's, or like a diner or like a typical Americanized or American gentrified brunch, it's not you're not only ordering a bunch of appetizers or small plates,
right. So I think in that way, like maybe be open to like letting someone like try a bite of your pancakes like they don't need to, like reach their fork across and just take it without asking. Do it in a way that like you feel comfortable with. Or at least let everyone know, upfront. Like, hey, like, I really don't want to share my food. So if it is a priority for someone to try that they can work it into their menu next time or see if they can get a small plate of it or something like that.
But I also think it's not me it's not it's not mutual in the sense of like, I don't mind sharing with you, but don't expect me to try what you get, because I ordered what I wanted, because I wanted to eat it.
Oh, yeah, totally. Like, no, this is purely from personal experience. I'm not saying that everybody needs to do this. But I do think it's something that you should talk about. Because pre Corona You know, when we go to brunch with our friends, we're we're all very open to sharing with each other. So the first time I went to brunch with someone who wasn't open to that, it was a very real shock. Because like I had pre planned what I wanted in my head is like, okay, I want this I was like, and then they have a small plate of this today. I was like, we should totally get this and share it and see if I want to get the larger plate for myself next time. And so I ordered it thinking like, okay, like, this is great, we're gonna have it. So I immediately halved it and put half onto my plate, left it for the other person. They were like, what are you doing? Like, that's yours? No, no, like, I got this for us to share. Like, I don't share food at all ever. I was like, oh, okay, I'm a little thrown here. But I respect that.
And I think it's up to both parties to mention prior to ordering, if you're like, Hey, I'm gonna get this for the table. What do you think? Or hey, I'm getting this from me. I don't really feel like sharing today. It's neither party should assume one way or the other because I think both are valid and reasonable. And because everyone has different preferences to not get left with extra food, or to feel salty because someone wouldn't share. Mm hmm. Someone should discuss it. And ideally, if you're the one thinking of it, you should probably discuss it
and I do I know that was an A you think we have a podcast This is advice for the universe. I know sometimes I forget we're talking between us but also two other people can confirm has been okay. All right. But I swear it was there to there. I swear there are three of us meaning you will probably just be there and then I I don't know which branch it was but one I was bringing everyone their Christmas gifts. You did not drop so I had to lug yours home with me and yours was the heaviest that's all I remember. It might have not been the time but it was a different time.
Okay, I'm trying to think of what would have been heavy makeup products. Hmm, true. Or the hairdryer? I wasn't gonna carry that anywhere. I wasn't gonna frickin bring your Dyson anywhere. Okay, nevermind. So when it comes to planning a brunch, I plan to go to brunch with Well, now we've two friends are gonna we have a podcast so I can use their names. I am planning a brunch with Laura and Amanda. Okay. Amanda would like to bring you when during the planning process, should that be introduced? point do you say bring or burn? Bring?
Oh, I thought you said when would she like to burn you as in when Liz and like she wants to disinvite? You when should she tell you this? We can go over both situations. All right. So I think that if somebody wants to bring an additional person who isn't who has not been on the original brunch invitation list, they should let that be known when they are asked
but what if like I make a plan to go out with Amanda and Laura and then you're texting Amanda and she's like, we're getting brunch? And you're like, Oh, I know. I know. You already have a problem thing like Oh, can I come? But in this situation? You're like I'm free. May I come? When does Amanda need to broach it with isn't me, me and Laura. When does who who has this vision and this in your eyes? I think typically you should bring it up to both parties, especially if neither of them know the person but you as the host organizer Queen of brunch for this day. You should know as soon as I ask Amanda and Amanda shouldn't give me an answer yes or no until she He's talked about it with you. But on this day, you specifically have the scepter the wand, you control all the decisions, the spirit stick. Yes. Got it. Okay.
I feel very similarly to that situation. For me, I think ideally, it should be brought up in the manner in which Angela just spoke of biggest trigger is if I make reservations. And then after, if I understand people work, I understand people have lives and are not always on their phone. But I also feel like if it was important enough to you to be included in the planning, and the operational and the process of this event, you need to be more cognizant of your phone and not wait 20. To me, I have a very low tolerance, because as you will see on the Instagram TV last month, I am very always on my phone and track my phone, especially if plans are getting made. I'm very alert. And I want my input to be heard polite, fully and diplomatically, of course, but I want to make sure that like if I have a problem with a time scheduling, or I need a different day than everyone knows prior to scheduling it. And if I don't make that timeline of when everyone else is conversing, I lose out, not them needing to therefore accommodate whatever was planned for me.
Exactly. I think that when plans are going on. So one, I think it's also polite that whoever's organizing brunch, if they really want to include said person who has not responded in 10 hours, 24 hours, 72 hours, they should reach out to them again, as like the second poll. But I also think that if you if you miss the boat on it, like if you haven't been responding, and someone's reached out to you, twice, now you're you're missing out on this brunch with a reservation, because you don't want to hold everyone up as well and have a really hot take for you.
Okay, unless there's more than five people, five independent people, like if you're part of a couple, I don't know, you're still on the floor. If it's more if it's less than four people, you don't get more than like 12 hours to respond to this conversation before I will make a reservation, frankly, you probably I will cut it up for typically the amount of time everyone has on their phone that you can't typically respond in a four hour time period. But let's just say I will give the grace for 12 hours. So I texted everyone in the morning, I will make I want to make the reservation the same day. So at the same time, salt I want is still available. If you don't get back to me in that time slot. I'm not going to do it more than a full day. If there's under four people, including me, so me and three others. But then again, if you're in a married couple, I consider you one person. Yes, I would make the reservation for five I wouldn't exclude a
partner. But you, I assume you'd be coming together. So you're one entity in this planning process. Mm hmm.
So when you're making this plan, are you assuming that it's a Tuesday and you're making this for Saturday? Or are you making this week's out?
Boy, how much I wish I could make a plan a weeks out. I okay, on college that most people have what I consider and now it's grown a little bit between a 48 and a four day window when they can confidently keep to plans, which I think is ridiculous because honestly if I'm okay, so a lot of people who talk about
the judge, day two or day window,
I do judge a little bit. So this two day two four day window is kind of ridiculous because most of the time that this is brought up it's said along with Oh like I'm spontaneous. I don't really know what I'm going to be doing four weeks from now if you have no solid plans four weeks from now, why can you not commit to putting a brunch and you're completely open schedule? To me that's telling me that you don't actually want to go to brunch with me. That's what it sounds like. I disagree with that. Okay, that's my hot take for the day. If you don't like to plan things out in advance. I I don't really believe that. I think that you're trying to say that you're holding out for a better option.
I know you feel that way sweetie.
See, the thing for me is I would much rather someone be non committal than to cancel on me. So that might be my hot take. I would much rather you tell me I don't know that far in advance. And if I can get you ideally a week I think I hope as we age a week is reasonable to make a plan in advance if I make a plan with you two weeks in advance, at least for me, someone and you who worked a retail job you don't know things family holidays, things just come up and for me, I would rather get a yes that's a much more firm Yes Then let's put it on the calendar and then in four weeks when I get my schedule, get it off to one and something happens have to cancel on you two weeks in advance and then try to play this game of tag back and forth.
No so for me when I hear when I hear that like if someone asks me Oh, do you want to go to brunch three weeks from now. And this place has a reservation I need to know yes or no. If I say yes, that's going in my calendar, and any other things that come in for that day will be planned around that. Like I don't I don't know any I don't know anyone who like has like doctor's appointments come up for a Saturday at 10am spontaneously, unless it's something like emergent. Like appendicitis
agreed, but like me retail sometimes I had to go in sometimes things have to happen and and maybe this is just the way I perceive it, I would much rather not be firm than to get canceled on. Okay, once I'm because I'm looking forward to it. If I'm canceled on I already have I'm actually reading about this in the book, my therapist recommended to me of how we are more, we're more loss averse than we are ambitious for the game. We're all more loss averse. And this is a big point I'm trying to work on in my life. I'm very loss averse to meet canceling a plan, because that's my reference point and going to brunch is now my reference point. And then I don't get to go to brunch, as opposed to I'm not sure if we can go to brunch, like, let's put it on the calendar. But I can't say till a few days until the week of is different. I think it is I understand that there are people in the universe who are like, I'm not sure and they are waiting for a better offer. I personally haven't experienced anyone like that. I just think most people who I've interacted with just have busy lives and just don't plan as far ahead as I do. So I'm not going to hold them to that because I would much rather have a higher shot of them showing up and then canceling on me. And if they're canceling on me because they are prioritizing other plans. I still won't know that because I'm only going to ask them for 248 hours in advance.
See, but I also think that there's a difference between saying I have a very flexible schedule, I might have to go into work, family things babysitting, like whatever. I think there's a difference between saying, I'm not sure what it's going to look like yet. Can I get back to you? versus Oh, I don't like to play on that far in advance.
I can't do that. I just I don't even want to think about it.
I don't know anyone. To my knowledge. Who is the latter of those examples. I feel like everyone else is the first example. Which is why I just don't want to get my hopes up too soon.
Interesting. See, I don't really mind so much when people cancel on me. Oh, it's like one of my biggest things. Apparently my star chart and my enneagram are like big no no's for that. Huh? I mean, honestly, if people cancel, I'm just like, Okay, cool. I'm gonna watch Netflix. I don't know. Now I need to think about does this really bother me? Or have I like set up some sort of internal barriers?
Well, I also think it depends. For example, one of the times you canceled brunch you like left your phone in another city, and like couldn't get in contact with me. Do we recall this time? You ended up coming like two hours later? Do you remember this?
Oh, yeah. Oh, okay.
It is not your. I mean, it's your fault. You left your phone somewhere. I didn't know where it was, and it died. But it's not in the grand scheme of scheme. I'm not holding you resenting you because you didn't show up to brunch. I understand the life happens. Shit happens. But I still lost out on that opportunity of you being there at brunch. Yeah, like I still waited the extra time for you to show up with our other friends. I only care when you cancel within the day, I guess is the other thing. You cancel the night before at least I can make other arrangements when you cancel the day of I might not act like it. But for future reference for all of our friends and family. Listen to this. I am fuming I am crying. I am doing a very aggressive kicking and or boxing workout. Even if it's a legitimate reason I can be understanding I can show grace, all of those things. But I'm still upset and my feelings are valid. Yes, your feelings are valid.
God I sound like a bitch this episode.
No, you don't. You're fine. No, your feelings are totally valid. And I understand that. And believe me, I'm deeply Morrisville because I actually think that this has happened twice because the incident that you're referencing is not the one that I thought of. So I'm very sorry for that. And I totally get it. And I agree. I think it's way worse when you cancel the morning of or you're unable to cancel, which again leads into extenuating circumstances. And that's just that's that's a very complicated area.
I know. That's the other lesson I'm currently working on therapy to go along with my depression quick little therapy segment with Jae it's always nice to have a little bit of self help in life. When you listen to me speak whatever total part of like I think it's with my depression. I don't know my therapist has a bunch of like, acronyms, acronyms, alliterations and fun little phrases. And one of them I think that's associated with my depression. I'm not sure I just have notes on it. So I just have the thing in there is like when you're depressed. You make things personal, permanent and they're pervasive. So I have a hard time detaching people missing Plans for whatever reason, it's like, well, if I meant enough, X would happen, they wouldn't have done this, they would have taken three trains earlier just to make it on time, which is unreasonable, which is an unreasonable expectation of mine. However, it's hard. Similarly, I think you're saying of when people won't make the plans with you so far in advance for it to not feel personal, huh?
Yeah. Now I do acknowledge in that respect, that is my anxiety talking. Let's see. Okay, so the incident that you were talking about Jae, I had left my phone at home. And I was on my way to see Jae and my mom gave me her phone, which didn't have Jays number in it, of course. And at this time, I didn't know your cell phone number.
And full address needs her phone. Angela just needs a phone chip implanted in her. Because there's another Li do. There's another story that's not one of these four instances were discussing where we had our friend page, the public transportation system, or her okay. Which was my idea, which I think was a genius idea. If you were still there, it was it definitely would have been. So the only thing about that was, I was actually on time for that. But for whatever reason, I had my phone on me. But it completely bricked out. It wasn't dead. Like there was nothing wrong. There was nothing perceivably wrong with it. When I was on the way to CJ, except for when I tried to call another friend who I was supposed to meet up with to then continue going to CJ, and it wouldn't work. So I was literally asking Strangers on a Train if I could borrow their if they will know cuz this was during COVID.
Yeah, so I had to, like call out to strangers from like, 10 feet away and explain the situation to them that I was trying to meet my friend and could they please text this person? That it was me and I was at this place that I was on time that I was going to be there. And that I would wait. So I had to but I couldn't remember his phone number. So I had them text Jay because now I did remember her phone number. But it was still getting lost in translation because he didn't believe that what the people told Jay was actually what I meant. So I was on time, waited at the station for almost an hour because he was running late but I didn't know that so I just thought I'd missed him. So I couldn't call an Uber or anything so I then got on a bus and then another train to get to Jay fun times. And I went I was still the first one there too.
I know complicated times I think I had like four different people text you from four different numbers and then your mom Oh yeah, thank God thank God for mom. Oh just texted she says she does not remember that place. Did you send her a picture? I sent you a picture. Okay, one other person. Wait, why don't like with my big and I think one other person was there. I don't remember this. I sent you the picture you can send Okay, cool. Wow. Okay. Yeah, moral of the story is I'm terrible with technology. But I think you all already know that because Jae calls me Boomer such as checker and I I misplaced my phone a lot most of the time unintentionally, or I don't
even realize now. Fancy schmancy iPhone 12 Pro, it's magnetic. So we can just like insert a magnet into you and your pants and everything. So a little stick? Oh,
I actually thought about that. I was thinking if I could like put something inside of my purse, so then it couldn't fall out. Because I think that's what happened twice that it fell out once in the car. And then I think it actually fell out on the sidewalk because I think my mom like got had to get out to get it for me. Magnets, technology, innovation. I'm trying. Okay, but going back to the question at hand, we think that it's polite to ask if you to ask if a person who was not originally invited to brunch can come to brunch as soon as possible, preferably before the reservation is made, because I think there was once when we went to brunch at the reservations place. And we had already been seated. And then another person who had been invited, texted the group and said, Hey, I'm actually available today. Can I come and can I bring three other people? It was my plan.
I said no.
Yes. Jae said no. And this I don't think any of the tables there actually had more than seats for four anyway. So I don't know how that would have worked out because I think on this places website they said tables of four only some places do reservations over a certain number, but it's like eight people. Oh, okay.
Moral of the story. I run on military time. literally everyone gets annoyed because my phone runs on military time. I can't tell time on your phone. When I did my study abroad program. Everything was told to us and spoken and read in military Time, sorry, I changed my phone to learn it. And now the one time I changed it back, I almost missed class because I set my phone for 9pm instead of 9am. So running on the 24 hour clock, I'm always sure of what time I'm setting my alarms for.
That's actually really smart though, because when I travel, I actually bring like a little separate like mini travel clock that's like an one inch by an inch. And I just pull that out whenever I need to tell time. We say Boomer, Boomer,
my favorite brunch hack ever. And I hope other restaurants do this too. So I might not have to cut the part out. One, it's great because they pay living wages. So you don't tip similarly to Europe, but they have a little patio seating area. And the thing about it is they always have signs that say if these tables are open, they are first come first serve meaning. So meaning this has happened multiple times, the first time I went to this place is one of my high school friends and we saw it on Instagram or check it out. And there was a line we put our names down. And then I saw this and I was like do you think this is and she is much older than I am. So she just goes ahead and sits right down at the table. And then like the woman was like, Oh, yeah, this is fine. Like this is what they're meant for. So we sit down, it's like, oh my god, this is the best life hack ever. And then I showed Angela and I make sure all of my people know when they go to brunch place that this is like what you should be doing because a lot of people don't read the signs. And they also think it is a little bit weird in the process the way a lot of places do brunch, but I think it's very efficient. And I think it saves time. It really is Yes. Would you like to say your experience? Because I know you had some negative ones a few times? Oh my god.
Okay. So first of all, I agree with Jay, this is an excellent thing for brunch places. And I think more of them should do it. So the only restriction for this place that I know of not well, outdoor dining was the only piano post COVID, when we can return to our regular brunch lifestyle. This is amazing and more places should do this. So the only restriction that I know of for this place is that you can't push any of the tables together. So if you're a large group, this doesn't really work with you. But if you're four or less, this is amazing.
So the first time that I ever did this by myself showing up to the restaurant without anyone else from our group, there was a huge line. So I was like, Oh my god, okay, like, I'm gonna have to put my name down, we'll probably like, Wait 40 minutes, I'm starving already. Whatever this place is fantastic. So I'm walking through to put my name up, all of the tables that have this rule assigned to them are empty, but nobody's sitting down. So it's like, oh, these all must be large groups together, I sit down. And immediately the line is in an uproar and they're yelling Get up. You can't cut the line. This these tables, like these tables aren't available right now. They're waiting for the next people. And it's like there's a sign right there that says tables first come first serve, do not push together. Thank you. And so the maitre D hears everyone yelling outside, he comes out and he's like, What's going on here? And they're pointing at me and yelling, she just sat down. She cut the line, she jumped in front of us. And he turns to me, and he's like, You did nothing wrong. He's like, you know the rules, right? Like, yeah, I do. He's like, Are you one person? I was like, I'm waiting for one other person's like,
they're walking wasn't it was
you? I was like, she's getting out of the car right now. I can see her. He's like, okay, that's fine. He's like, next time you do this, he's like, just make sure the two of you are together. Like that. Is it? my credit card was stolen? No, we were no, yes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, we love Even though my credit card got stolen. Yeah. So which was a total accident, they accidentally gave her card to the table next to us. And the woman didn't really look at it. She was just like, oh, same exact card, or something? Like I think she was like, Oh, yes, there was. There was also a memory disorder associated with this story.
They pay for my meal. They were very gracious about it. And I was fine, because we were going to go shopping in the neighborhood anyway. But yeah, that was definitely a fear. Because they were I could see the entire staff, like keep glancing at me. And I was like, Angela, are they looking at me? And you're like, yeah, and I'm like, Oh, no, what happened? And they just kept doing it. Because I was facing the back where they all were like checking everyone off like, Oh, my God, what's happening? Because Angela had her card back. And then I were just like waiting for 20 minutes. But yes, back to mobs of people. You My God, right?
Yeah. So they're just like yelling and he's like, he's like, all of these tables are open. But still, nobody makes any moves to sit down. Then Jay comes we eat brunch we go about our day. And I think in the whole time there was only one other group of people that sat down outside with us. Didn't you say there was another time you want more like multiple groups sat down and like they all kept getting yelled at? Yes, this was last not last summer but the summer before. So 2019. Again, same thing I showed up alone. I sat I did break the rules. I sat down without the rest of my party. But we did but and again, everyone in the world Screaming maitre D comes out again, and he tells them all he's like, you're welcome to sit down. But again, none of them move. We were the first ones there, there were like five or six other empty tables. And then slowly throughout the course of our meal, those tables fill up by other people who know the rules walk up and sit down. And every time the line yelled at them, and by the last by the time the last table was full, the maitre D came out, and he's like, I don't know what to tell you. He's like, I've told you, you can sit down, but you're not moving. And please keep in mind as well, this is like the sweetest guy. He has excellent relationship. Awesome. Oh, he's amazing. He's fantastic. He really embodies what I like about brunch places that build good relationships with our customers. Like he knows he knows names, he remembers faces, he'll stop by tables and just like say hi. Like, not even in that. Oh, like, I'm just checking to like, see, and like how your services? And have you told me it's wonderful. Like he just genuinely a nice guy. But yeah, I, I don't understand why that concept was so hard for everyone to grasp multiple times, if the table is open, to sit down a model that more brunch places should definitely look into. Because apparently, a lot of people have a fear of just sitting down. So if you want to show up a little bit later and just sit right in, you can and it's wonderful. This place, actually, that we're talking about, I believe that they have a restaurant that is almost comparable to them that I really, really want you to try. Like they don't have the same menu, but the food is of the same quality. The restaurant has the same feel they pay a living wage. It's they do. Oh, that's good. Mm hmm. So I actually wonder so I was going through my list of brunch spots, my top three are no, I'm not going to list them. Because also we have this rule. We don't tell people about our favorite brunch spots in case we accidentally get like exes luncheon people I don't want to see there again. So we're not going to name them. But I did realize my top three are all owned by are all owned and inspired by no will the same country. Hmm. I'm more of an Asi an fusion person. Those are really good too. Those are Next on the list. I miss brunch. Me too. Have you? Have you done any sort of like doordash Uber Eats
Well, we did it a lot early pandemic, you can tell our listeners about that while I go pee about our trading branches that I was so genius to think of already brunch, as we
as we settled into the pandemic lifestyle here, we didn't want to completely do away with our brunch, because as well, I don't know if we've even touched on this yet. But we have a sort of set brunch group where we like to try out different restaurants and always return to our favorites. So Jae actually came up with the idea of brunch swap where each of us would pick one person, and we would actually send them a brunch with a mystery component to it. So we could say that we wanted a particular item, or we were looking for a particular style, but we couldn't actually dictate our own meal that was all decided by the person who was actually ordering your food. So we actually we did this for a while. And I don't know why we stopped but we had some pretty good brunches. Overall, one of our friends who was assigned to me actually came up with very creative options. Because being out here in the suburbs, there aren't that many brunch spots available to me. So he he found some he found some good ones that are holding me over until we can get back to our usual brunch fare. Then Then j actually came up with an idea that we I don't know, did we do this? We did this last summer. So it was July or August that instead of just ordering brunch for each other, we would actually take the money from brunch or add more if we wanted to and donate it to a charity. And then we would make our own brunch or order it if we wanted. And then we would all still eat together and enjoy it. And we could also educate each other on the charities that we donated to very close.
The only thing is we don't care is what you were just we donated to charities on behalf of the other people how we did the brunch swap.
Oh right. Yes, we did that we did not pick the charity ourselves. We donated to the charity of the person who we would usually buy brunch for I was very surprised everyone went for it.
But with us doing these regular brunches during the pandemic. And during these kind of times of being fortunate enough that we could have all ordered and afforded to get brunch after doing it a few times. I just thought it was a nice way to like give back and be a little more conscious.
Mm hmm. And I'm glad everyone went for it. I know we should do it again. I actually I did that. When was the last time I ordered brunch. I ordered brunch for myself for New Year's Day. And I mean frankly and what I paid for fees to get it I definitely could have put that into a donation. You have a Chase Sapphire card. Why don't you have your dashpass hooked up. It's free. delivery and like 60 to $80 of credit. I don't remember how much Oh, I think this was through Postmates Ah, yeah, because suburbs, these places are not close to me.
I could even call it oh my god college didn't even frickin get delivery to my senior year.
Oh my god. Do you remember the day I figured out that we could get chick fil a or delivered? And then they promptly took it away? No, but I'm not surprised. So sad. I'm hungry. I need to go eat breakfast. Do you? Do you think we've we've done we've done enough for today?
We can we're an hour 24 and I'm assuming I'm going to cut out at least 20 minutes of silence while we bicker about how many times he lost your phone when you could guess all the songs. So I feel like we're at about an hour right now. Okay, it's your Sunday brunch to
I don't know. I mean, frankly, with our hot takes. I think we've given people a lot to think about.
Yes, and disclaimer. We are not experts nor try to hold our judgments as objective as possible. Fully acknowledging we can not be very objective a lot of the times and have blind spot. Things we are working towards and 2021 No, just me.
No, we that's something we're definitely doing. And we I don't know. It'll be interesting. Do you think that we'll be able to really work on this while being removed from from brunch at this time?
Well, I'm hoping similar to how everyone's like, oh, after the Spanish plague, we had the roaring 20s where everyone would dress super nice. Everyone's going to be so excited to go out. Everyone will be super punctual to go out is my hope for the new year
. Okay. Also similarly to the roaring 20s. Maybe there will be a change in our brunch fashion. I think there should be changing fashion in general. I like I really don't like that you can wear the same thing to brunch as you wore to the bar on Friday night. Like when I was watching the boss.
I don't like that you can wear what you wear to the gym on Saturday before. Okay, the only time I think that that is acceptable is when you do spontaneous brunch. Spontaneous brunch. You shouldn't be planning to wear those clothes outside at the gym. You should have closed with you. That's why you have a gym bag.
Okay, but sometimes it's it's just comfier to just put on like different having coffee or eating breakfast at home. Okay, but again, usually if I'm going to work out I don't plan on doing brunch after so hence spontaneous brunch, I think should be the exception. No Pixie. I'm hoping for more planned brunches where I can like wear more dresses.
Like no jeans or Japan. When have I ever done a spontaneous brunch on you? Well, no, I'm not. Okay. No, I'm not talking about spontaneous brunches with you. I'm talking about with people who are not you. Like for example, while we're recording this episode, I got two text messages asking if I wanted to go get brunch? Aren't you lucky to have friends?
Which Yes, very good thing. I don't know. I'm we just got outdoor dining back. I don't know if I'm ready to go out to brunch. It shouldn't be happening. I know. Oh, and also for to give like a full scope of how we're doing this, Jay and I usually record our episodes on Sunday mornings. So right now it's noon. So we are within the timeframe of brunch.
So yeah, that you were gonna remind people this is also recorded more than a month before it's going out. So the outdoor dining policy as of now might not be the same one is when you hear this? Oh, god, that's very true. With all the sci fi things you watch. I thought you'd be better with the planning ahead. Speaking in the future. Well see I was
I just thought that when we were going to be doing this we would just be like projecting ourselves there like just pretending we are in said month we are but when you make things that are very timely, like how the COVID restrictions are changing every freaking other day. You can't say things like that, that may not be applicable in two months
or a month.
I mean, frankly, I think the the way that we're going it's very likely we will lose outdoor dining again and then regain it in two months. Fair, fair point. And on that note, thank you for listening to this episode of In Omnia Paratus . Grab your coffee bowl. And don't forget to rate download and subscribe on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. As always where you lead will follow. So head over to @ionmniapod on Instagram and let us know what you want to hear about in the comments. Bye
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