This week, in honor of the upcoming inauguration, we’re planning our imaginary cabinet slate’s as we wish they could happen! We’re drawing from our favorite public figures and actors, as well as characters in film, television, and literature. Join us, debate with us, and let us know who you would pick!
- The hot chocolate referenced is in fact for the Gilmore Girls This or That: Holiday Edition that Jae participated in back in December, in the episode Holiday Mixtape
- Today we are designing our imaginary cabinet slates for who we would pick if we were the President and Vice President
- DISCLAIMER: This is all put together in good fun! The individuals and groups that we have selected, both human and additional species, are qualified only within the realms of our imaginations, and we fully acknowledge this.
- The cabinet is a part of the Executive Branch of government, and this episode only covers the main 15. For more information please see :
- We felt it was important to give the stats of each department’s employee base and budget because this is a great reminder of how much influence each position holds for the people of the United States.
- Angela’s Honorable Mentions: Neil deGrasse Tyson, Mikki Kendall, Diane Guerrero,
|Winner||Discussion Fact Checks|
|Secretary of Agriculture||Jackson Bellville||Jackson Bellville||Jackson Bellville||
|Secretary of Commerce||Ashton Kutcher||Ryan Reynolds||Ashton Kutcher||
|Secretary of Defense||Ladies of Wakanda||The Doctor / The Avengers / Warriors of Wakanda / Princess Leia||Ladies of Wakanda (Dora Milaje)|
|Secretary of Education||Jesse Williams||Paris Geller||Jesse Williams||
|Secretary of Energy||Zenon Carr / Phil Diffy||Yoda||Zenon Carr|
|Secretary of Health & Human Services||Dr. Miranda Bailey||Dr. Miranda Bailey & Dr. Richard Webber||Dr. Miranda Bailey||
|Secretary of Homeland Security||Shonda Rhimes||The Doctor||The Doctor||
|Secretary of Housing and Urban Development||John Legend / Queen Mia Thermopolis||Kristen Bell||Queen Mia Thermopolis|
|Secretary of Interior||Bill Nye the Science Guy / Greta Thunberg||Moana of Montanui / Neil deGrasse Tyson||Moana of Montanui|
|Secretary of Labor||Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex||Michelle Obama||Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex||
|Secretary of State||Beyonce||Stephen Colbert||Beyonce||
|Secretary of Transportation||Seth Meyers / Stephen Colbert||Han Solo||Han Solo||
|Secretary of Treasury||Lin Manuel Miranda||Don Draper||Open Space! Let us know who you think should be in this position!||
|Secretary of Veterans Affairs||Michelle Obama||Owen Hunt||Michelle Obama||
|Attorney General||Elle Woods||Elle Woods / Michelle Obama / Mrs. Kim||Elle Woods|
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
I pledge myself to the pod loyal I'll always be appear to start a D at the end and an O sitting in between Hello and welcome back to in Omnia products. I'm Jae like the letter.
And I'm Angela also known as AVO
we are to go more stands diving into our own past and present evaluating if we were ever truly ready for anything, we discuss all things from problematic school dances to what no one prepares you for after college. Listen for tales of elusive college boys and co workers more high strung than Paris Geller.
Welcome back, everyone. Thanks for joining us, Jae.
How's your day going?
My start to the day of pre arrest is not
That's good. I have cookies, do you have cookies?
Should we getting hot chocolate and a few hours. For today's lovely topic, we're going to talk about something everyone is super excited for the inauguration, but not really the inauguration, our slate for who we would pick for the new administration, we're not changing the president vice president because the people have spoken and have decided those. But for the 15 Executive cabinet divisions, we went ahead and put some of our pics, some are human, some aren't human apparently. Some are real people. Some are characters. And just a little disclaimer, please do not take these seriously. This is mostly for entertainment purposes, everything we say that these positions are in charge of or budgets or anything was taken off the website of the White House both under under the 2016 administration as well as the previous administration. So I did double check the definitions and kind of what these are always feel free to do extra research on these. But this is pretty accurate to what these positions are in charge of and what they do. So we kind of wanted it to be a little like fun with like a hint of education.
I'm really excited because Jae and I have been going back and forth over who we think has the better slate. And we actually don't know, I didn't
know what a slate was until our sorority elections like I could assume in context, but I've never really understood what it was I always associated slates kind of being the same thing as like a fantasy football bracket being the same with like other things. Oh, okay. It's where you put names in and you talk about it. I mean, not entirely inaccurate, like most of the things I say not totally. Okay, so a little quick rundown. The cabinet includes the Vice President, which I didn't know and the heads of 15 executive departments all under the executive branch. The President, as we all know, implements and enforces laws written by Congress appoints the heads of federal agencies, including the cabinet, the Vice President, is there mostly in case the president dies, I'm trying to think of a more graceful way to put that but there really wasn't one, the cabinet and independent federal agencies are responsible for the day to day enforcement and administration of federal laws, and they have missions responsibilities.
Yeah. Anything to add on us.
Okay. Honestly, I do have to admit there were two departments here that I had no idea what they were. So this has been has been educational all around for us.
Definitely. Because there were things that I thought were under one department, but we're actually under another Exactly. And we're only talking about the main 15. Right now. I will say this is not speaking for Angela nor our podcast brand as a whole me Jay personally likes the diversity they are seeing under the president elect in two or three days. President Biden's administration, I think he really is putting his money where his mouth is and putting in people in his cabinet who reflect America as a whole. I
agree. I think that so far, President Elect Biden and vice president elect Harris have done a great job at seeking out diversity and very well educated people who I think will probably do a very good job and seen there we go.
Let's get into the cabinet the first the Secretary of Agriculture, who runs the Department of Agriculture, they develop and execute policies on farming, agriculture food, it aims to meet the needs of farmers ranchers promoting agriculture, trade and production, assuring food safety, protecting natural resources, fostering rural communities and ending hunger in America and abroad. The USDA employs more than 100,000 people and has an annual budget of $95 billion and has 17 different agencies under it the USDA plays an important role in overseeing aid programs by providing surplus food to developing countries I think it's pretty clear I think it's pretty clear I should run the Department of Agriculture none other than Mr. Jackson Melville. I don't know who Angelo put but I feel like that was the only one like give me like we should have both gotten I did for those who don't watch gilmoregirls Jackson, Melville is Suki our as some of you are, maybe most of you might know her as Melissa McCarthy's husband he may met through Jackson being the fruit and vegetable supplier for the end. Suki is the chef and he's very protective. Very careful with his fruits and vegetables. He doesn't want to sell bad ones. He's done some cool things in modifying fruits and kind of combining them. He made like a guava that looked like a strawberry or something. He has set up a greenhouse so he could do like tomatoes year round. He slept in his zucchini pouch to make sure they were okay, just a man very in touch with what he grows. And I think he would do a great job overseeing that on a larger scale across America.
I agree. I also put Jackson down, and I think you hit all of his great points. The one thing I do want to know, though, is that when we say genetically modifying food, it's safely genetically modifying. He's not altering it in a lab. He's just cross pollinating to see what he can come up with is correct.
who do we have next? Alrighty, our next department is the Department of Commerce. And this is the government agency tasked with improving the living standards, and promoting economic and social development and technological innovation for all Americans. They're in charge of a number of services, including issuing patents and trademarks, ensuring the effective use of scientific and technological resources. They formulate telecommunications and Technology Policy for the US and assist in promoting exports and enforcing international trade agreements. This department has a $6.5 billion budget and oversees approximately 38,000 employees and as the Secretary of Commerce, I nominate Ryan Reynolds. I heard an Reynold I'm going to assume that said Ryan Reynolds, yes, Ryan Reynolds. as those of you may be aware, Ryan Reynolds is an actor and a producer, but he has also ventured out into multiple different business ventures in his lifetime. He's the owner of aviation gin. He's a board member for match Group Inc, which includes some of our favorite dating sites, such as Tinder hinge and for others, that means Ok, Cupid and match.com. I don't think we've had any experience there. But we hear they're great. He has recently started a cell phone franchise called mint mobile. And he actually has also invested in a soccer club in Wales, Wrexham soccer. I think, overall, Ryan Reynolds has an excellent understanding of business. And he's made money through all of his various ventures, which he's then turned around and invested into other ventures promoting economic development within our country and also internationally.
And he just became a citizen this year, or this was his first election to vote, and I'm not sure when but he did vote. So he is a citizen now.
I actually, I forgot to check that. So thank you.
No problem. Okay, I see where you're going. I had a similar path. I nominate Ashton Kutcher.
I think with all of his work in technology and apps growing from the beginning of the industry, he really knows like, he literally was a shark on Shark Tank, like he's aware and very kind of in that innovation, technology space. He made me lacunas download Grindr to kind of see what it was about. They've done a lot of things with needles and kind of knows a lot about investing in general and kind of what's new. He like, was one of the original founders of Uber. I'm pretty sure. So similarly, and I think that I like a lot of the interviews I hear about him, he has strong Midwest roots, so kind of blue collar working class. He has a very in touch side with that, even though he has now become a very successful investor and a decent actor. I think he's a great actor, and I think not I think he's good at what he does. I think Ryan Reynolds would be more likely to win the Oscar probably to hate Ashton Kutcher, Greek life for life. I think he would be great. I think he's similarly he's very intelligent, just if you've listened to him speak over several years about different things, whether it was going in front of the Senate to talk about child trafficking and apps he's doing with that, or how he's explaining inequality, Black Lives Matter to his children. I think he's really good at articulating things in a way that comes from a place of love and understanding. And he really would want to work towards improving the living standards for all Americans. Did I sell you?
I mean, maybe Can we give Ryan Reynolds a job at the Department of Commerce? Sure. Okay. He can help with the exports. Okay, I'm sold, like how he smuggled pie in the United States.
Oh, my God,
I forgot about that. Now. The Department of Defense. The mission of the Department of Defense is to provide military forces needed to deter war and protect the security of our country. The department's headquarters are in the Pentagon and the Department of Defense includes Army, Navy Air Force, many other agencies, including the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the Pentagon force protection agency, the NSA, the Defense Intelligence Agency, that's it, period. The Department of Defense is the largest government agency with more than 1.3 million men and women in active duty. Thank you for your service. All of you nearly 700,000 civilian personnel and 1.1 million citizens who served the national guard and reserve forces and obviously The only people I would like to trust to run the Department of Defense are the ladies of Wakanda. I don't really think that needs the further explanation. That's who I nominate.
Okay, I love it. I totally see where you're going with this. I wasn't able to pick someone who I wanted to definitively run the Department of Defense. I do have a list. I have the warriors of Wakanda, the Avengers, the doctor and Princess Leia.
So for those who aren't into that universe, maybe a sub Do you want to kind of run through we both agreed on Wakanda people who kind of sent me and then some of the others and that nerdy universe Do you want to kind of break it out for those who might not be as educated? I have to say, I've only seen Black Panther once, but those women were real badasses. And I would trust them to defend my country.
Totally. Okay, so the ladies of Wakanda, as Jay calls them within the world of Black Panther, they are known as the dora milaje, which means the adored ones, and they are actually the sworn protectors of the Black Panther. They are an all female army, and they are devoted to the preservation of his life and the protection of Wakanda his borders, which is a fictional country set in Africa, which is said to have been hidden from the rest of the world and famously never colonized. They are crazy, strong, amazing women. I would totally love to have them as I don't know like not even their role would translate to our secret service but I think that they would actually be more akin to seal team six or something like that. They're that amazing.
And the technology advances they've come up
the bubble as I would call it shield might be the better term.
Yes, their shields their transportation there.
No, I mean, like the shield of like, how you can't see the city not like the physical shields they hold?
No, that's why I went with bubble initially. Okay. You said portal. So I was like, they don't have more than one.
Oh, well, I mean, they they have they implement that technology and multiple places. But no, overall, I think we would do very well to model ourselves after Wakanda. The Avengers main part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe that we have come to be familiar with, which includes Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, and the Hulk. I think they would do fantastically, as well as part of the Department of Defense. But I don't know if I'd really want any of them to run it. Similarly with a doctor who I'm actually spoiler alert, I'm going to go into a little more depth with further down in my slate. I think he would also do amazingly, somewhere within the department. But I don't think I want him to run it. Yes. So Jae, I will cede Department of Defense to you it is now run by the dora milaje.
Thank you. Okay,
and Next up, we have the Department of Education. pretty self explanatory. The mission of the DEA is to promote student achievement and preparation for later within our world by fostering educational excellence and ensuring equal access to educational opportunity. throughout the country. This department is in charge of administering federal financial aid. They collect and monitor data on America's school systems and then decide whether or not they need to intervene or support with local and state policies on education. And they also work to promote advocacy for the parents and the students. This department oversees for only 4200 employees, which actually surprised me and they have a $68.6 billion budget and my pick for the Secretary of Education is Paris Geller. Yeah, I knew that was gonna make you laugh. So she's tenacious.
That was another one I
saw. Got it. She's tenacious, she's diligent and she will not let go of something if you set her on a very clear path. I think that this would be a great way to exercise all of her energies in a very constructive way. Okay, personally given her track record of excellence tillson Yale her double doctor degree she's without a doubt qualified and her commitment to personal excellence would also be a great standard to set for the rest of the department. We've seen her run an si t program where she made kids cry I've seen her work in various Student
I think that her one on one interaction
where she also tried to do it not dethrone tried to oh god what's what's the she tried to make Rory resign? I don't remember the term she used originally. Frick. Oh, impeach. There you go. She was trying to impeach her fellow government official who she made run with her.
Okay. I think her one on one interaction with students should probably be limited, but I think overall and setting a standard of excellence for schools nationwide, she could do a lot to elevate our educational system.
Now, Angela, that was a lot speech about why you think pair scholar should be the Secretary of Education. I've had 10 hours to think about this since your power went out. And I thought,
Okay, I'm ready. Paris has a lot of great qualities that I could see really translating for her advocating learning, being very informed as Secretary of Education. But with her Harvard track Chilton going private school life, I feel like she doesn't have the know how of the public system. And I'm not saying you have to have gone through public school to understand how to run the secretary of education or two from the Department of Education. I think growing up as privileged as she did, there might be a disconnect of kind of excellence and how she got to where she did in proportion to kind of equity things and I think Paris could go one way or the other.
I can see that I think with the right team, she could definitely be a real asset to the Department of Education.
Oh, I definitely agree. I think if she was able to not center herself, I think she would be a really good Secretary of Education. However, my pick for the Secretary of Education is none other than the beautiful eyed plastic posse member, Jesse Williams.
So plastics posse
Jesse Williams, prior to being an actor on Grey's Anatomy, the shirtless man and this is well not even shirtless. Excuse me, the naked man in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants to movie for LS Fidel's drawing class. He was a whole teacher why he was a high school public history teacher Jesse Williams was a teacher prior to being an actor, you know, and then with his advocacy, his Oh, I think they're called Bromo G's. I'm really not trying to get cancelled right now. I'm pretty sure that's what he called them and all of his activism work for the black community and trying to build a more equitable society. I think kind of with his being an shaundalyn. And his personal history, I think he would be really good and very humble in his experience, but also listening to those around him to get a fair system for all students.
Okay, I think you're definitely going to win this one also, because I just watched all of the Jesse Williams tiktoks built up in my inbox. So go ahead and take it Jesse Williams. That's so awesome that he was a high school teacher, I need to learn more about this. Okay, now we are on to the Department of Education not
Nope, try again.
Now we are on to the Department of Energy run by the Secretary of Energy. The mission of the DEA Department of Energy is to advance the national economic and energy security of the United States the deal he promotes America's energy security by encouraging the development of reliable, clean and affordable energy. It administers funds for scientific research to further the goal of discovery and innovation and courage of American economic competitiveness and improving the quality of life for Americans. The DEA is also tasked with ensuring America's nuclear security with protecting the environment by providing a responsible resolution to the legacy of nuclear weapon production. So when I was thinking of the Department of Energy at first, I was like power outage pg&e like power. And that's like, oh, nuclear weapons. So basically, like, Who do I want to entrust with not destroying the whole world or encouraging someone else to destroy the whole world? Exactly.
So originally, my thoughts were one of the Richards, Richard Gilmore and Richard Weber from grace, those are my options. However, you and I were on the phone yesterday and someone much better out of the box, brilliant minded me thought of and I actually have to, I'm more passionate one than the other. But I think both of these people would work one Zenon Carr, she literally grew up in space and talk to aliens.
Oh my lord, her
parents did all this cool lab things in space and similarly to her Phil of the future comes from the future. Oh, so he would know when to use what to use and technology that we need to get to where he is to not get into nuclear warfare. Okay, I like both of those.
See, so I think we we thought along similar lines here when you had your inspiration. I also had my inspiration, but my nominee for the Department of Energy is Yoda and the Council of Jedi elders. So Jae, just to get you a little bit up to speed here within the Star Wars universe. The Jedi are the most well respected, powerful, wisest beings that there are and the council of elders are like and the council of elders are the highest of the Most High within that they're devoted to peace, preservation of life and the balance of the universe through their connection with the force. So I think they'd be perfect for this department because they have the serenity, the comb the wisdom needed to make the best choice to the benefit of the most people without a bias based on race, gender, socio economic background, or education level, because they understand that everyone and everything is important and necessary to our world.
Our jeti's human
they can be they can be any sort of creature, we're going to go with creature human or non human. And as Yoda the head of The Jedi Council he is so when I thought about who I want to carry the football. I think I want Yoda, I might succeed this one, but I'm not set completely yet. We'll see any other I have to negotiate with. Okay, I almost asked if we needed to have a run off. But that's not how this works. No, it's on the table. Okay. All right, we will mark that to be negotiated later. For our next department we have the Department of Health and Human Services and the HHS is responsible for protecting all Americans by providing essential health services, particularly for those who cannot advocate for themselves. They work to prevent disease outbreaks, assure Food and Drug Safety, provide health insurance and administer Medicare and Medicaid. This department also includes agencies such as the National Institute of Health Food and Drug Administration and the Center for Disease Control. Shout out to Dr. Fauci when I thought of this, I thought that this is such an important position that it might actually take two people just to see that everything is run properly. I know that this is a problem that has spans decades and decades, but particularly within the last 10 years, people have started to really pay attention to how many people are affected and disproportionately affected by illness and lack of access to proper health services. So there's a lot of work to be done. So I would now like to nominate Dr. Miranda Bailey and Dr. Richard Weber. So I know that when we discussed teams, it has to be people who already work together who came as a set and I think that Richard and Miranda do because for years now they've worked as a team, even when she was a resident they've been work life and work husband, he's mentored her she's assisted him when he needs it. And I think that they've you can't have one without the other right now.
I will personally be tweeting shaundra Wilson, saying you don't believe in her capability because I also put Miranda Bailey but I felt she could do it by herself, especially the way she schooled. Oh, and hunt about diverticulitis. Last episode. Oh, come on. Now. I think that I think she could totally do it by herself as well. But I also think that if they teamed up, they could achieve the level of excellence that we need faster.
no, just just Bailey. No, Richard.
No, Richard, I say just because my thought process is if you want to get someone else in there with Bailey, I feel like Richard and Bailey, like you say are very similar. So I'd want like a no some outdoor rain. I don't like a karasik or an Amelia. There's not going to just give it to Bailey to really make sure we're doing what's best for everyone. But like we don't know hate to Kevin McKidd love the actor loved him and maid of honor, but Oh, 100 can go. Wow.
Okay. Yeah. So originally I thought about giving this over to like Meredith or Christina, but I don't know. I just really like how Miranda and Richards together. But we can go with just Miranda we are on to the Department of Homeland Security run by
the Secretary of Homeland Security. The department is to prevent and disrupt terrorist attacks protect the American people critical infrastructure, key resources and respond and recover from incidents that do occur. This is the third largest cabinet and was established after the Homeland Security Act of 2002. There are only two departments including customs, the Coast Guard, Secret Service, TSA and FEMA I had a bit of a toughy with this one. I felt like I didn't have anyone perfect enough I could really nail so I put Shonda Rhimes because I feel like if she's able to put so many eggs in things, and spoilers and throwbacks, and things to confuse me, she's on top of everything and would have great plans with all of our home turf information.
That's an interesting choice. I can I can see it, but I think I might have one better for you. So my nominee for the Secretary of Homeland Security is the doctor. You can't nominate someone in multiple positions. Why not?
I mean, I guess
also he didn't win his earlier position.
Okay, let's hear it.
Collectively, the doctor has saved the world universe people's Christmases, New Years and more 256 times that we know of. So there are countless more there. He's been doing this for over 1000 years. And given the fact that he's a time traveler and can move throughout the fabric of space and time. However he wants. He could basically be a one man department, but he does come with many fun companions to also help him save the day. Also, because of the whole time traveler thing. He has the ultimate advantage in intelligence and reconnaissance. And if he needs to, he can go back in time for do overs as many times as he wants. If it doesn't turn out, turn out right the first time also, I completely forgot about this earlier when I was prepping. But I do believe three seasons ago, he was voted unanimously the president of the world by the US, UK and whoever the other people in the United Nations are under what context saving the world like on the show? Yes. Like on the show they nominated him as president of the world. Not yet. The actual un
Yes, I just a blanket. little note here. any of my fictional characters who I'm pulling from all of the information backing them is fictional as well.
If you were to choose between Yoda and the Jedi Council or the doctor for this, which would you pick
Okay, then give me energy. And you can have the doctor for Homeland Security. Okay, can I make a stipulation that for energy? It's Zenon. Yes. Okay. Communication negotiation. We should all learn to be better at it. Mm hmm. compromise.
I know. I think that's one of the things we've gotten better at over the years to
hear some more in 2021 Whoo. All right. Are you ready for our next seat
Yes, the Department of Housing and Urban Development HUD is responsible for the policies and programs that address the nation's housing needs. They enforce fair housing laws established rent subsidies, mortgage insurance, community development and public housing offices within HUD include the Office of Fair Housing Administration and equal opportunity and the Federal Housing Administration. And in total, HUD commands about 9000 employees and a $40 billion budget. So for this cabinet seat, I would like to nominate Kristen Bell
So I would just like to note again, this is based entirely off of her Instagram and interview personality. I think she'd do a superb job. She has an extensive history working with different felt different philanthropy and activism based organizations concerning clean water arts and education programs and community development and enrichment. So while she doesn't have any sort of direct experience with housing, I believe that she's another candidate that has the right qualities to excel and dive into the position wholeheartedly and she has the compassion, patience and wisdom to grow and build a team and execute policy with grace. Okay,
I see it so I have to the first one the he got himself, Chrissy deacons husband, john legend, he's super, super smart, skipping multiple grades smart and he got and is very informed and well read, and I think he would do a good job. I am basing this off the fact though, during a lot of this social unrest about racial inequality, he sent out a great tweet that I love about instead of using the term or instead of real estate agencies getting rid of the term master bedroom with its connections to slavery, even though the connections were based back in the old monarchy in Europe that real estate companies should focus on showing people of color homes they could afford in wider neighborhoods, rather than just not showing them who I like john legend, and then my second one is none other than California native Mia men no net thermopolis Rinaldi Queen of genovia. And this is all based off the fact that she was willing to give up her summer castle to the lovely kids at the orphanage knowing she already had enough homes meaning again, fighting for the equality and equity of all thank you. Oh,
that's a really good one. Okay, Queen Mia has been formally accepted.
The Department of the Interior didn't really know what this was. I'm going to be quite honest till I started doing this and heard about President Elect Biden's pick and why it was so historic
didn't really know much about the Department of the Interior is the nation's principal conservation agency. Its mission is to protect America's natural resources, offer recreation opportunities, conduct scientific research, conserve and protect fish and wildlife and honor our trust responsibility to American Indians, Alaska natives and our responsibility to Island communities, which is great that we have it don't really know what it's been doing all these years. But I think really, though, now that we're now that we're aware, and they have over a $16 billion dollar budget with 70,000 employees and then 200,000 volunteers.
Yeah, I think what I was reading through that was the only department that actually took volunteers
a little shout out if my particular friend is listening, they are also in charge of the US Geological Survey and managing the national parks and and protecting endangered species. Okay. I have to again, I think the obvious choice that we all know, okay, Bill Nye the Science Guy. Especially during these pandemic times, he's really been doing great schooling people on science. And then my other choice was none other than the feisty, amazing activist Greta Thornburg similar path very into conservation has a lot of the passion of getting young people excited about conservation in the climate, and I think she would do a great job as well.
I think she would do very well we could pull you and team them up,
but let's hear who you were to say.
Okay, so I actually so I have to, you might need to remove one cuz we didn't get to talk about it beforehand. I have Moana of Motonui
she restored the balance between tiffy tea and takeoff therefore perfect. During the land,
and people of her home, and she's also witnessed firsthand the magic of nature. Most often I feel when I hear people talk about the country's land and its resources, it's all related to the idea of development, not conservation. And I think that by bringing in fresh eyes and the sense of wonder that she has, she could enforce existing policy and bring about reform where needed. And then my second voice similar to you, I followed close to Bill Nye the Science Guy, but I have Neil deGrasse Tyson
Moana I think is a great choice. I couldn't think of a POC that I don't know. Why didn't they come on? She's genius. And she can bring Hey, that's great, but Juana is our Secretary of the Interior.
So our next department is the Department of Labor. This department oversees the federal programs related to job training, safe workspaces, minimum wage, employment, discrimination and unemployment services. Its mission is to foster and promote the welfare of job seekers, current workers and retirees by improving working conditions protecting retirement and health care benefits and monitoring individuals state data related to the current workforce, the Secretary of Labor oversees about 15,000 employees and has a $15 billion budget. I wasn't really sure who to put here. My initial thought was Miranda priestly, and then I thought about that for five minutes and realize that was the worst person you could put in here. Probably the only one worse than Miranda Pease probably the only person worse than Miranda priestly for this job would be Emily Gilmore. I actually went with Michelle Obama, because what can that woman not do?
Okay, I'm not going to comment much on this, but I'm going to just skip to who I picked. Okay, which is my favorite new podcaster Meghan Markel, the Duchess of Sussex. I think she did her collection with Oh, okay. I think it's like smart works or something. I don't know. You'll find it at the backtrack where they she worked with women in London or the UK or England about getting outfits and getting ready to reenter the workforce. I don't know whether it's post relationship abuse, financial abuse, or homelessness or exactly what it is, but women who I'm not trying to underplay this, but like the phrase, I'm going to go with this down on their luck, because I don't really know what particularly this group does. It'll be in the shownotes. If you want to learn more about it, we'll link it as well. It's a company similar to kind of dress for success, I'm assuming in the UK, and she's kept up with the woman help with interview skills. I think she's very well read. I think she's well spoken. I think it's a nice department for her being who she is that can be relatively non political. I mean, obviously, she shorted a cabinet so it's got to be political, but it's one of the less polarizing things is about helping get the best workforce we can. And I think similarly to Jesse Williams would fight for equity and would also very much listen to everyone's voice at the table, especially women.
I like it I'm surprised I didn't even think of Meghan Markel, but I like it as well because
and this is why we're only friends.
That's why the best got dropped. Yeah, yeah, we what we had to deal with that when they got engaged. I was handed my official demotion because I did not know much about Meghan Markel. So can I give it to Meghan Duchess obsessed and you can give it to my
co host of Archwell podcast?
Yes. Hello. That's right.
Perfect. Can't wait for that episode to drop. Now the secretary of state the Department of State probably one of the most familiar positions we've heard of and generally know what they do is the Department of State plays the lead role in developing and implementing the President's foreign policy main responsibilities include the United States representation abroad board assistance, foreign military training program, counter international crime, it has a wide assortment of services to US citizens and foreign nations seeking entry to the US. The US maintains diplomatic relations with approximately 180 countries, each posted by us civilian Foreign Service employees as well as international organizations. There's about 30,000 points in a $35 million budget. I just have one word for this one. And I'm not even going to really explain it. I nominate Beyonce to be the Secretary of State. Oh, okay. Yeah, I think I'm going to lose this one. I felt really confident about mine until I heard who isn't stunned when Beyonce just is in your presence. She's warm, she's inviting, and I think she'd be really good meeting world leaders in a very nice, proper but familiar way.
And I think she would make sure to engage with all nations and give them all equal respect. And she's beyond say, so like, Who would want to not do foreign policy with Beyonce and then get the beehive up there butt?
the what a beehive like her fans? Oh, okay. All right. When I heard that I thought of like a literal beehive, and I was incredibly confused for a moment. I'm with you Now.
Now. You're gonna get the beehive to come after you. I know. I promise bee hive like I I'm one of you. I just didn't know I was part of a bee hive. I know. I know. Everyone's coming for me.
Great. Yeah, everyone, this is so bad. Okay, well, I'm going to lose. But I'm just going to tell you, I actually I nominated Stephen Colbert or Secretary of State. Okay. I thought that when it came to looking for someone who would Excel with foreign relations, meeting different diplomats and dignitaries, why not add in a little bit of humor there. He's incredibly intelligent, very well read, well cultured, but he also he has just enough of the obvious humor, but also the dry humor to genuinely like, engage with people and make them feel like very smart and intellectual when they get his jokes. So it's just it's a little bit of an ego boost. I see it but I actually was just watching Stephen Colbert interview with Megan, the stallion. And she was actually describing how Beyonce and Jay Z had been excellent mentors to her and Beyonce texted her all the time and tells her like yes, Queen You're amazing. Do you ignore the haters? own yourself love yourself. So who wouldn't want that in a foreign diplomat agreed?
How old is Megan the stallion you know, early? 20s because I believe she's in like her last year of college. I might be wrong about that. I know she was going to college two years ago. Siri How old is Megan The stallion? Nope. Oh, I tried.
All right. We'll put it we'll put it in the show notes. That's what that's what this is for. But like I see where you went with that. And solid A for effort. But Beyonce?
It's like what people call it. Uno reverse card. Like you can't you can't you can't do it with Beyonce. Mm hmm. What do we have next?
We have the Department of Transportation.
This one was a toughy.
It really was the mission of the Department of Transportation is to ensure a fast, reliable, safe, efficient and convenient transportation system for the country's business and lifestyle needs. The organizations within the DOT include the Federal Highway Administration, Federal Aviation Administration, Federal Railroad Administration and the Maritime Administration. So for Secretary of Transportation, I nominate Han Solo purely on the fact that he piloted the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs V and I'm sorry, was that English that that was that is also Star Wars talk. Yes. Also, listeners if you know Star Wars, I do know that parsecs are not actually a measure of distance. It's a time thing I know. I don't know. They say it in the movies. Is this like glorify misusing crow bogs?
Well, no, I used it correctly. But it's just it's something that's kind of taken on a life of its own. Like it's literally a line from the movie in the people versus George Lucas. They have they've put a new spin on parsec.
God, I got it. Okay. I don't really have much to go off of that one. But like, Sure, I Funny enough, was between two people. I put either Stephen Colbert or Seth Meyers. Pure Oh, they're both I wanted someone who has experience with public transportation and some of the better public transportation that exists. So who wouldn't want to people who take the New York subway, and even if they don't now, because they're rich, they must have had some point. And I think like you said, Stephen Colbert and Meyers are rather well read, well educated and both very kind of like to the point guys where they're like, especially there, why are we doing this? This doesn't make sense. Get out of that. Let's start doing this. I can definitely see that. I think I can also tell you that both of them though, would yield this position to Han Solo.
I'll give it
But for human,
for human, they're excellent choices. Well, Han Solo is also human, but he's not in this galaxy.
So for people
who have a
social security number in reality,
yes, they're top notch choices. Okay.
Oh my god. I say I honestly think Stephen Colbert would really love being Secretary of Transportation.
He could write another children's book I know that goes with the like, whose boat is that boat, or whatever it's called?
Yes, when when we have time for it, we'll be sure to do my dramatic reading of whose boat is this boat?
you love it. Jae's heard it twice.
Department of the Treasury and the Secretary of Treasury. The Department of the Treasury is responsible for promoting the economic prosperity and ensuring the soundness and security of the US and international financial system. The department operates and maintains systems that are critical to the nation's financial infrastructure such as the productions of coins and currency, the disbursement of payments to the American public the collection of taxes and borrowing funds necessary to run the federal government money. The Department of Treasury is money. And, in fact, in real life, we are having our first female Secretary of Treasury ever I believe, I think so.
I think that's what
it is. And that's great. Another great thing is having the man who was able to read a biography of the year Regional Secretary of the Treasury and make it into a phenomenal Grammy winning bajillion Tony winning musical Lin Manuel Miranda, my nominee for Secretary of the Treasury.
Alright, wait, you lost me a little bit? He did. What was the biography now?
Lin Manuel Miranda, red Ron shirt out, turn out biography on vacation. And he's like,
oh my god.
This is a rap musical. And this is a rap battle. And he wrote Hamilton he was so inspired by that biography. He wrote Hamilton.
So he was inspired by the man who first ran the Department of the Treasury's biography to then create the story of Hamilton. Okay, look,
I'm all confused where you're confused. So
I'm gonna we're gonna start again. Okay.
Miranda, read Alexander Hamilton's biography by Roger now on vacation.
Oh, I'm with you. Now,
what did I miss?
Well, before when you said he wrote a biography, either you didn't say it, or I didn't hear that. You said it was about Alexander Hamilton. I thought it was like his own personal biography. So I was like, What does his time having to do running the Department of the Treasury have to do with the story of Alexander Hamilton Got it? Yep. But I'm now with you got it. Well, since I edit it, I'll make sure I sound correct. Okay, all right. That's a good one. I actually didn't know that about Lin Manuel Miranda. I honestly have no defense for this one. Or at least no good defense. I nominated Don Draper from Mad Men, and I don't. Isn't he Super waspy? And like Wolf of Wall Street? Okay. I don't know what waspey means. I hear it all the time. And I have no clue. What Anglo Saxon Protestant. Oh, I mean, maybe, probably. So I don't know when I first was reading through the description. His was the first name that came to mind. And I wasn't able to think of one better. So I actually tried to look into it and figure out why I was associating Don Draper with the Department of the Treasury can't figure it out. I did, however, find several articles similarly related to my train of thought. And they also talk about how they're not really sure if Don Draper works with money he has a lot of money is good with money, make sound investments, but there's just something about him that makes people associate him with money and good, a good economy. It's the hair and the suit, really. And the shoes. I mean, I've never seen Mad Men, maybe the shades. It's Jon Hamm's character, right. Yeah, I've seen stills and that's what I get from it. Okay, so more like Wolf of Wall Street Leo vibes prior to like, crazy. Like when he first starts get the ludes Sorry, guys. That's my favorite line. All right.
Hello, audience. It's Angela here. As we get ready for our next department. I know I'm going into this one to lose. But you know, we're just gonna fight for it all the way. Because as Jae has already expressed, she does not like the character of Dr. Owen hunt. But he is my pick for the Department of Veterans Affairs. So we'll see how this goes. And for our penultimate department, we have the Department of Veterans Affairs run by the Secretary of Veterans Affairs. This department is responsible for administering benefit programs for veterans, their families, and their survivors, which include pension education, disability compensation, home loans, life insurance, vocational rehabilitation, survivor support and medical care. There are about 235,000 people employed here. And they work with a budget of $90 billion. Also, fun fact, Veterans Affairs became a cabinet level position in 1989. And we have nearly 25 million veterans alive today, which means that roughly a quarter of the country's total population are eligible for veterans benefits today. So for this position, I know I'm going into lose because you've already expressed that you don't like this person. But I would like to nominate Dr. Owen hunt. Oh, and as a veteran himself, having done several tours of service with the army of the field surgeon and he's personally experienced the need for the support systems that the VA offers, while also seeing the areas in which services have not been sufficient. He's done firsthand work with vets and support groups for both our mental health and physical rehabilitation and has worked as an advocate for greater partnerships with other organizations to build more comprehensive support programs outside of the VA hospitals.
Okay. I don't hate him here. And I understand the reasons you put him. Okay. I nominate for the Secretary of Veterans Affairs, Michelle Obama, Michelle Obama did a lot of work during her time. And this is the only political adjacent person I put, which is one of the reasons I also didn't want you to put her for labor.
Oh, my God.
And she along with Jill Biden created a great organization called joining forces as well during their time. I
think I have to give it to you. You just you can't deny Michelle Obama.
I know. But Owen hunt is a very good second in command. They can work together. Michelle Obama could work with anyone
Wait, did we just find one Treasury
You know, Don Draper a good person I want like someone who is not fighting for businesses, but fighting for the people. Like I originally pushed the sharks on Shark Tank, but I don't think they're fighting for the people. I think they're fighting for the profit.
Oh, yeah, totally. I'm 6040 7030 6535 fc fighting for more money or the betterment of people. How do you find advertising work?
I mean, I guess here's my question, what would Don Draper have done during COVID? Would he sell stocks prior during special briefings? Or would he be out protesting and advocating for signs and COVID relief to all Americans and small businesses and people struggling? Now, I'm not giving one minimum more and all of that credit, but I think somewhere in the middle, I think that he would definitely fight to protect small businesses, but keep them open, or give them money to close. Oh, that's
So I think this is where all of you come in. Please tell us who you think should be a good Secretary of the Treasury. You heard our pics, and neither one of us are super solid with that one. So we'll leave that one up to you guys. Comment, the MS text us? If you know us. Please don't text. If you don't know,
I know. That'd be a little creepy. But yeah, we look forward to hearing what you think
Secretary of the Treasury really even up to you. And before we get to our final position, the attorney general, I have some honorable mention to people I want it to be in my cabinet and I hope would work very well with the people I have listed already. But I couldn't figure it out. We're going to start with Brene Brown. The person who she started a call I would love to join. Similarly, Glennan Doyle, Whitney Cummings is just been smart. I think she could do well. And I think she wouldn't necessarily be someone I want as a secretary, but you'd be really good second or third and command just another voice in the room to play devil's advocate against the cast of High School Musical, the Queer Eye guys, the column family, and then the creme de la creme Disney circle of stars. The Circle of Life group or dream is a wish your heart makes.
Did you have honorable mentions?
I do have honorable mentions.
And I can't find where I wrote them.
I took my notes in like three different places because of the power outage. Oh my god, it's alright, I'll put my honorable mentions in the show notes.
Okay, so we are now at the Attorney General. The only one not named Secretary on this list. The mission of the Department of Justice. The DOJ who is run by the Attorney General is to enforce the law and defend the interests of the United States according to the law to ensure public safety against threats foreign and domestic to provide federal leadership in preventing and controlling crime
to seek punishment for
those guilty of unlawful behavior and to ensure fair, impartial administration of justice for all America. The DOJ has 40 components to the organization including the DEA Drug Enforcement Agency, the FBI Federal Bureau of Investigation, US Marshals Federal Bureau of Prisons, the Attorney General is the head of the DOJ and chief law enforcement officer of the federal government. The Attorney General represents the United States in the legal matters advises the president heads the executive department of government and occasionally appears before the Supreme Court Attorney General representing the United States punishing those who are guilty of unlawful behavior, ensuring public safety from threats foreign and domestic provide leadership. We want someone smart, we want a great lawyer. We want someone from Harvard Law. We want someone who knows that you can't get a permit.
I nominate Miss Elle woods
to be the next Attorney General of
the United States.
Yes, I 100%. Agree. We have the same pick.
You said you had multiple and I was like how do you have mold?
First I thought of Elle Woods, then I actually thought Michelle Obama would be nice here. And then when we originally were trying to make this a little bit more Gilmore centric. I actually put Mrs. Kim as attorney general interesting, because she would have been excellent prosecutor,
I would have put Paris for attorney general
Oh, that would have been a good one too. But I really liked her and education.
Yes, Elle was I think similarly to what we saw in Legally Blonde to red, white and blonde. What she becomes aware of an issue she's able to advocate for and educate herself on it such as I think what happened with social justice, LGBTQ rights, single moms and
other political issues. I
think once she got informed or aware of the unrest, she would fight for the unjust to become just and not center herself and but rather center those be impacted by the unlawful laws. I agree. Elle Woods for attorney general of the United States. Yay. Our final cabinet slate starts with of course, Kamala Harris, then Secretary of Agriculture Jackson belville, Secretary of Commerce, Ashton Kutcher, featuring Ryan Reynolds, woo, Secretary of Defense, Dora Milaje,
which I think is
the Secretary of Education. Jesse Williams, the Secretary of Energy Zenon, the Secretary of Health Human Services Miranda Bailey the Secretary of Homeland Security the doctor, the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Amelia Migonette Thermopolis Renaldo , Queen of genovia, Secretary of the Interior Moana of Montinui Secretary of Labor, the Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markel, Secretary of State Beyonce Secretary of Transportation Han Solo Secretary of the Treasury. Up to y'all secretary of vet affairs, Michelle Obama and Attorney General Elwood, we hope this was fun for you guys a little educational. And if you'd like to send us your slides, we'd be more than happy to compare and see who you guys thought disagreed with Hubble discourse.
Yeah, we can. I don't know. Jae, do you feel comfortable posting them on the Instagram story?
Yeah, we'll post our slate maybe we'll do a post for
Well, we'll try to feature something on Instagram so you all can have it in front of you compare and contrast with us. And on that note, thank you for listening to this episode of in Omnia paratus. Tune in next week for us to hear for us to hear. And on that note, thank you for listening to this week's episode of insomnia Paradis. Be sure to tune in next week, but for now, grab your coffee bowls. And be sure to rate download and subscribe on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts as always where you lead will follow. So head on over to @inomniapod on Instagram, and let us know what you thought about this week's episode.
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