This week we fell back on a tried and true topic: Girl Talk! Angela, and returning guest Megan, are opening up about their new relationships with each other while considering how they have brought new experiences into their respective lives. Long-distance, age differences, exes, and meeting the family are all on the table, along with some fun wrong turns, one of which *lands* us in Schitt’s Creek!

Show Notes

In this episode Angela is joined by special guest, Megan, as they catch up on their new relationships! Aptly titled Girl Talk, this is a far more anecdotal episode than we usually do here at In Omnia Paratus, but we’re exploring a few topics that we feel are *important*, funny, or interesting as you start a new relationship.

In this episode we cover:

  • Meeting our boyfriends (Eww, Angela absolutely hates this word)
  • Shooting your shot verses playing it cool
  • First dates and building a relationship
  • Long distance relationships and long distance dates
  • Our favorite dates so far
  • Age differences in romantic relationships
  • Considering traveling with a romantic partner
  • Imagining your boyfriend meeting your family
  • Finding people that you mesh with
  • Navigating interracial relationships (Very brief, we’ll cover this more in season 2)
  • Things we won’t stand for in relationships now that we are older/wiser

Angela 0:00

Welcome back to this episode of In Omnia Paratus. I'm Angela, one of your regular co hosts. And today with me, I have a special guest my big the lovely Megan.

Megan 0:10


Angela 0:11

So today as we're coming to the end of our season, honestly, we're kind of running out of topics because we're gonna be at I think, 55 total. We've talked about a lot of things this year Jae is again on vocal rest because she has honestly done the majority of the speaking. So today, Megan and I are falling back on an old standby a tried but true, the essence and quintessential fundamental foundation of Girl Talk relationships. Yes. And so this is just kind of perfect for us because we are both in new relationships right now. So there's a lot that we haven't necessarily talked about together. Because you're in Chicago. I'm here in the Bay Area. And neither one of us have met the others person yet. No, we

Megan 0:52

haven't. But soon, very soon.

Angela 0:55

So I guess, to put it out there to protect the innocent those who have not signed up to join us today, we will be referring to Megan's boyfriend as Ben and my boyfriend will be referred to as OMP to go with avio only fitting exactly starting at the beginning. Meghan, how did you and Ben meet?

Megan 1:15

Yeah. So we actually met in college, we worked at the gym together and just kept in touch. When I moved to Chicago, whenever I came back home for holidays, things like that, Ben and I would always make it a point to go to Disneyland and try and hang out. So I saw him at least once or twice a year for quite a while. And he was actually one of my first visitors in Chicago. And it wasn't until recently, when he came to visit. It was his second trip here that things kind of started to get a little more romantic. We've already spent innocently flirty, but it kind of just clicked in and made sense. Now.

Angela 1:53

I mean, I think you call it innocently flirty. But I and I feel like many others in your life have been telling you for several years. Hey, maybe there's something between you and Ben that's worth exploring.

Megan 2:07

I mean, I've had a good amount of friends. And he's even met my mom before. And they've all said, Oh, Ben has a crush on you. And it was always like, No, he has a really funny personality. I have a flirty personality. So I never really internalize that I kind of just took it with a grain of salt. Like, oh, you know, we're just friends. And you know, he just flirts with everyone. So it's no big deal. But then the big trigger was when he was visiting, we went out to brunch with my sister and her now husband, and after her husband came to me and said, and you're not dating Ben, like what's going on? And so that was kind of like the Oh, wow. Like this was his first encounter, like his experience meeting him. So that was kind of crazy.

Angela 2:52

I think when you told me this story, originally, I had you put your phone on speaker and then I shouted out to your sister and her then fiance. I was like, oh my goodness, I've been saying the same thing. Because when we were in Denver earlier this year, and you guys were coordinating this trip together, and you were just like reading me the text like chain back and forth. I was like, there's there's definitely a little something here. Something's happening that people just don't want to admit to

Megan 3:19

but that was so out of the blue. I honestly hadn't really talked to him much prior to him saying like, I need to go back to Chicago soon. So yeah, it was just like a Whoa, okay. Yeah, like, love to have you. But it's not like we would really text a lot or, you know, keep up it was one of those like, Hey, I'm in town, let's get together. Like I think the only times we'd really talk would be like after one of us had just finished like a relationship we would kind of just like check in to see how the other person was doing. So I don't know if that was like a something that we both did just to like talk and vent or if it was kind of just like us going to each other. But yeah, so we we definitely have

Angela 4:00

evolved. I'm going to need a follow up from Ben's perspective at some point about how he viewed this interlude because it was a while like, you guys have known each other for six ish years.

Megan 4:14

Yeah, yeah, it's been a long time. Actually, it was probably a few weeks ago, we were on the phone together. And we were talking about one of our like, first interactions and we played tennis once or twice like while while we were in school and he said that he remembered a moment where we had just finished and he was like grabbing one of the tennis balls from me or vice versa and our hands touched and kind of lingers

Angela 4:39

and oh my god movie moment.

Megan 4:41

I just like the fact that you remember this is the cutest thing in the world. So like My heart melted. Oh,

Angela 4:48

I love that okay, so it's been a secret SAP like is this something he admitted begrudgingly? Or is or do like fun things like this just kind of pop up?

Megan 4:56

I'd say fun things like this just pop up. Yeah, he's definitely Romantic, which I am obsessed with,

Angela 5:02

Oh, I love that. Suma.

Megan 5:04

He cracked a joke when he was here over the summer before we were dating about not being romantic and like, all this stuff, I forget his wording, but basically like, oh, like, No, I would never do that. And then I said something like, Well, I guess you and I are never meant to be then. But when we're in the elevator, you know, I'm a huge SAP or like a big romantic. He's like, almost to a fault. And I was like, Well, I like that, actually. So I was like, I'll retract my last statement.

Angela 5:33

Oh, my goodness.

Megan 5:36

But good thing I did, because now we're here. I know,

Angela 5:38

sometimes you just you have to be ready for those things. Like you can't always play it. Cool. That's very true. Yeah. I guess a prime example of not playing it. Cool. So Oh, MP, and I met over Bumble. And we had we had a really great, like text conversation for a night like, honestly, it was like one of the best conversations I've ever had on an app where like, I learned so much about a person but it was also like just the right amount of like flirty and mysterious, but because I'm also like super safety conscious, I wouldn't agree to meet him in person, I had to have a virtual date with him. So we used Bumbles night in feature where you can like video chat through the app, and then it'll give you like different team building games to kind of see how you're going to potentially interact together as partners. And while this was going on, I think we had it set up for a like Wednesday or Thursday night sometime in the middle of the week, and I was completely burnt out from work. So I came home, I took a relaxing bath I put on like some venereal beats to like to give myself like a sound bath retreat experience. And I totally zoned out and I was in the bathtub until 10 minutes before I was supposed to see him to like jump out towel off. Like my hair is a complete mess. I don't have time to put on makeup or anything. I just throw on my pajama top. And I'm like, whatever this is how we're meeting whatever happens happens I was like he's probably not even going to be that great. Anyway, it's going to be super disappointing just like all these other guys that I've met on this app who either don't show up don't text me back just straight up ghost me or like stack my dates on top of them. This really setting the state up for success. I know right? I was just like, was like we had one good conversation. Thank you Next, but we actually get on I like open up the video chat. Oh, no. He's very cute. Oh, no, he got kind of dressed up. He's wearing like this like nice, like brownish gray sweater thing. The apartments all like neat and tidy. Like boy apartments are not neat and tidy. He put in some effort here. And like while we're playing this game, I'm very conscious, like my hair is soaking wet. It is dripping down my face. My shirt is slowly getting soaked. So like by by by the grace of like, work Gods I get a call from my boss, right like 10 minutes into this says like, Oh, I'm really sorry. Like my boss is calling. Let me just go ahead and take this. And he's like, Oh, for sure. Like come back on when you're ready. So I log out. Don't pick up the call from my boss. I run upstairs. I put on a different shirt like to put on a little bit of makeup like low dry my hair really fast. I have the Dyson hairdryer. So I like pop in the diffuser and I'm like, Okay, two minutes blow drying. And we're set and then I come back down. I'm like, Hello. Yes, I did look like this. When we started. It's like no, no, that the girl with a wet hair like you, you imagined that you've watched the ring too many times.

Megan 8:26

That day was like hair sopping wet. I know. Like I wouldn't go take this call from my boss. He probably just totally thought you made this call up. Or he thought that like, Wow, I can't even make it past 10 minutes of

Angela 8:38

the first day. Right? I like this is the total example of why you should not play it super cool. Because you can play it so cool. You will wash yourself out of a date literally.

Megan 8:50

But apparently not because it turned out well for

Angela 8:53

you. It Oh, okay, there honestly, there was a lot of work that had to go into like that first virtual meeting. Because as you know, I have the worst Wi Fi in the world. So my Wi Fi kept going in and out. So then I had to switch to my phone. But he doesn't have an iPhone and I do so when we wanted to like end like the bumble night in we couldn't face time. So then we had to like go between like Skype, Google meats and some and like Microsoft Teams or something to like, find things that we both had accounts for that we could easily log into. So it was like another 30 minutes of work. Like just to actually really talk and after that I was so sure I wasn't going to hear from him again. So the next day I texted him like hey, like thanks for hanging in there through all of this hope we get to talk again. And then he texted me back. He was like of course I was just thinking of another date and I was like don't worry you really because like I proved to be very extra just like online. But yeah, luckily it did work out.

Megan 9:54

That's so funny. But hey, memorable first first virtual eight.

Angela 9:58

Oh, for sure. Okay, so We've established how we've met. And now we're actually we're in it, we're doing the relationship thing that you, Megan, you're in a long distance relationship that I am, how's it going? Like? What are the feelings there?

Megan 10:13

Honestly, it's going really well. Um, I think it's kind of come at an interesting time. Because last year with the pandemic, it was kind of like, oh, you weren't really seeing anyone or, or you hung out with the people in your household because you didn't really do anything. And I wasn't really dating at all last year. So it's not like I had any good morning, wake up messages, or I had someone that I was consistently talking to me be like friends here in there. So I feel like the distance for me personally is kind of like easing into like talking and seeing someone consistently. So I don't think I've really been fazed by it. And we're both very busy people. So like, we have our own stuff going on. But we always make time for each other, which is really great. So we'll be holding two different conversations at the same time, why not through texts and one on Snapchat, a lot of the times we'll talk for hours on end, like at the end of our days. So it's been really great, obviously, in person is ideal. And we will be soon but yeah, I'd say it's been really nice. I actually

Angela 11:16

was listening to a podcast about that earlier this week about how for long distance relationships now, like they really recommend that you use as many different modes of communication as you can just to like help the other person really try to experience life as if they were there with you. So like they recommend using like Instagram, Snapchat, text messages, FaceTime, email, like writing letters, just like anything that you can that kind of like creates like new and different types of communication so that it sort of mimics more of what your time would be like together. Like if you were in the same city. Yeah,

Megan 11:51

absolutely. I would agree with that. We'll send each other memes through Instagram, just the other day we had a date over FaceTime where we both cooked together so that was a lot of fun. i He was definitely hesitant at first but at the end of it he he actually enjoyed it and liked the the meal that he created because he does not cook so it was kind of like this is gonna go really well or this is gonna be awful. And he's just gonna go run to in and out and like, just be upset and just eat it in front of me and I can enjoy in and out in Chicago. So

Angela 12:24

oh, it's bright, but soon enough because you will be moving back to California.

Megan 12:29

That is very true. Yes, I have looked into how much longer I'll be here and it's only like eight and a half nine months. That's it's wild flying by

Angela 12:40

and I'm definitely going to need to squeeze in another trip because I have a lot of Chicago restaurants that I still need to try. They still

Megan 12:46

a lot I need to try. Yes.

Angela 12:50

I know I'm still so sad that sorry. Brief segue. I'm still so sad. I wasn't able to make it work last year and like come for a month and just explore Chicago like that would have been primetime in the middle of the pandemic like not that anyone should really be going out in the pandemic but over the summer outdoor dining that was still can. That's That's very true. Although I do believe I've learned my lesson between me and Chicago winters.

Megan 13:16

Yeah, it's, it's upon us. Winter's coming.

Angela 13:23

Back to relationships. What did you guys make her your dinner date? Like getting meatballs? Oh my god. That's so cute. Okay, you have one lady in the tramp in the background?

Megan 13:31

Ooh, no, but that would have been there has been a nice touch on beyond.

Angela 13:35

You gotta have the army on stocks.

Megan 13:37

We did try taking selfies. And they all just turned out so interesting. Oh, no. One of us wasn't paying attention. Or it was super blurry. It was actually really difficult. So we tried to get like our dishes in it. Yeah. As well as a swimmer like doing awkward, like, movements to try and get both the work.

Angela 13:59

Oh, do you think an iPad would have helped? He

Megan 14:03

is but I don't have one. Oh,

Angela 14:07

next time. Next time. Definitely.

Megan 14:09

I'll go out and get one just so we can take photos of our spaghetti.

Angela 14:15

So I do really think about that. Because some people come up with like the cutest little like FaceTime selfies and like, how does that happen?

Megan 14:23

Yeah, I don't think either of us would take the time to edit. So it is what it is. Like them. I mean, they're cute, but they're not like Instagram, you know? Like that kind of Ooh, so so she can Instagrammable

Angela 14:38

Oh my God, I feel it like Do you remember I think it was like mid pandemic when on Instagram. It was a really big thing like show the first photo you and your significant other took together? No, I don't remember this at all. Oh, I think oh my god. It was in like the early stages like maybe between like April to July when there were all sorts of like different flows. Row trends and things like that. And I totally thought of that the other day because Oh, MP and I took our first photo. And we did something very similar. Like we both took turns like with having our eyes closed or not smiling. And we were trying to get something in the background that like, wasn't working like he had to squat and like I was getting up on tippy toe. I was like, I give up. We're gonna get a selfie stick.

Megan 15:25

Yeah, there we go. That would be smart. That would come in handy. Well, I have a question for you. Because I told you about our dinner date. But what has been your favorite date with Oh, Pete?

Angela 15:41

Oh my gosh, way to protect the innocent Megan. What is the acronym? I'm gonna write it down? Oh, MP.

Megan 15:52

Okay, I'm gonna scratch that rewind. So you asked me about our cooking dates. So

Angela 16:02

hold on. Wait, before you ask this question. Actually have something to follow up on your cooking date. Okay, okay. Wait. Okay, so So Ben doesn't like to cook? No. Oh, MP doesn't either. Really? I'm like, what is it what these men?

Megan 16:15

Is it like he eats out a lot? Or is it more of like quick meals that he can throw them up. So over in the

Angela 16:20

so away, it's it's a bit more of like a quick meal thing. But this is probably the biggest divergence that we have together. He is like a very simple eater. He's like eating for sustenance. He's not really into like taking the time to create extravagant meals. And I'm over here trying to work my way through the joy of cooking. So that's that's definitely been a challenge for us.

Megan 16:45

Well, maybe you could do a cooking dates and just do something super simple. Like I went into anything more than 30 minutes. I honestly don't really enjoy if it takes longer than that. So I'm like, I just want to eat already. So I think and then it's like something that you guys can do together as like an activity and then it's not so like for them. Some are burdensome when he's like, Oh, I have to you know, cook this meal by myself. So

Angela 17:12

now I have floated that out there. We went to the farmers market for something else that we will talk about in another episode. We went to the farmers market. And we actually got these really great empanadas. And it was the first time he'd had them. And he really liked them. I was like, we could make these and he was like, Okay, I'll be down. I was like, Yes, I have some good food. But I just Yeah, I don't know. That's just something for me. I don't really understand when people don't like cooking.

Megan 17:39

Yeah, with Ben, he'll do a lot of lows, the quick, I don't know the brand, but like noodles that are already seasoned and just add water and like that's your meal. Or he'll do that not really the top ramen like, it's more like they'll have a Fettuccine Alfredo or like a stroganoff or whatever else. And just kind of so what's like a pre made kind of like it just add water. So it's somewhat close. But I was like, there's so many other things that you could make that went into. I mean, sure, it takes longer, but it's healthier and more rewarding because you get it yourself.

Angela 18:15

Exactly. And you get to experiment. Yeah, that's like half the fun in this to

Megan 18:20

agree. But I You asked about our cooking dates. So I'm gonna throw it to you. What has been your favorite date with Omp? Oh, that's

Angela 18:30

definitely a tough one. I think if we're going to call it favorite overall, right now, we went to the exploratorium after dark a couple months ago. And that was just really fun. Because it was really fun because it still kind of fell into like our first dates, like maybe we'd only known each other like two months. So I was still getting to know a lot of the little different facets of his personality. So as you walk through and you go through the different exhibits, some of them are interactive. There are some live exhibitions, there are some that you like even work with, like other people on or you can just watch them do. So just seeing like the little things that like sparked his interest and where they took his mind was really fun for me,

Megan 19:13

huh? Okay, very cool. And I recall us going

Angela 19:18

there and yes, that's actually why I took you there because I had so much fun. I was like, I have to go back.

Megan 19:25

Yes, I do. Remember the the Eye Dissection. And that was interesting. You got to feel it in the plastic bag.

Angela 19:34

Oh, that was so squishy.

Megan 19:36

This is what a cow I feel like.

Angela 19:38

Yikes. Right. You're like there's some things that like maybe I didn't need to know in this lifetime, but now I do. And I also thought upstairs like the Wayback Machine. That was really cool. The title clock? Yeah, no, it was. Yeah, it is. It's really fun. And I don't know it was kind of fun with him too, because he treated it like like more of a formal date, like we went, and we got dinner before, and like we got a little bit more dressed up, like we're usually both fairly casual people like he pulled out like the dressier clothes. So I was like, Okay, I need to dress up a little bit. Luckily, I had some extra stuff with me. So I was able to make it. But it was, I don't know, it was just, it was fun. Because it was a little a little different from us. Like we'd been on a lot of smaller, like low key dates, we did a lot of like ice cream and lunches, like when we were getting to know each other because, like, he's a teacher. So we met over the summer. So he was working a lot of half days. And because of the way like my company was currently in their pandemic phase, I had like either like work from home options, or like if I was in the city, like there were a lot of different things available to me. So it was it was pretty fun thing nice. So generally, because we're talking about our new relationships right now, I thought maybe we could also talk about some of the things in our relationships that we've experienced, that are maybe a little new to us and different from our past experiences. So is there like anything that really sticks out to you? Yeah,

Megan 21:13

I would say that with and it's the most comfortable I've ever been in a relationship. And I think that really, you know, is all things to us knowing or have no name, have knowing I can't speak it's from us having known each other for so long, and starting off as friends. So I think that just overtime naturally helped us become really comfortable with one another. And so I feel like I don't have to, you know, dolla for, you know, act a certain way, where I can just really be myself, which is really nice. But it is really funny. So Ben is in a band, and I got to see him play for the first time over the summer. And I remember him almost like warning me like, oh, just so you know, like I act a little different on stage. mean,

Angela 22:05

like, you're about to meet my stage persona,

Megan 22:07

basically. Yeah. He's like, Well, like, I'll kind of jump on like the amp and, and like Thrash. Like, oh, okay, I was like, well, that's like rock and roll stuff, whatever. Like don't hurt yourself, but and so. Um, so I actually went to to shows up his when I was in town for that trip. But no, it was, it was a lot of fun to see. Like a very, I wouldn't say very different. But I would say definitely like that performance, no persona turned on and he is ready to go. But he he really knows how to get the crowd going. So it was so it was cool to kind of see like, I know him when he's more chill. When he's like putting on a show.

Angela 22:53

Oh my god. That's so funny. Are you okay, are there any videos? I feel like I need to see this. Yeah,

Megan 22:59

I took a couple videos when I was there. But I think on YouTube, there would be some of him going a little crazier, where like people will pick him up. And it's like, oh my god, like, and how so no, this because it's more of like the underground scene. So it's kind of like, oh, and you know what the cool kids. We do this really silly thing with their hands. It's almost like so they get like really close. So we'll do like the little mosh pits like go around and so like it looks button innocent enough. But with their hands, they'll act like they're kind of playing the guitar, but like they do this kind of like close to him. And it's like, that is the strangest thing ever. The next show I go to I need to just video that because it's hilarious.

Angela 23:43

I've never heard of this, and I am so intrigued.

Megan 23:46

Yeah, it's I don't I don't even know how to like describe it. But it's okay. So

Angela 23:51

for all of you who can't see us right now, Megan is like almost playing the piano slash giving warm fuzzies like through the camera to me.

Megan 23:59

Yeah. So it's like, oh, trying to like strum your guitar. It's well, it was just very odd, but it brought me joy to watch.

Angela 24:07

Oh my god. Okay. Did you have to be warned about groupies or their fans? So

Megan 24:12

I actually asked Ben about freebies. I was like, oh, so two guys have groupies. Like I've never been with a groupie. And he did talk about he's like, it's actually really hard to this was like before we're dating. And he's like, it's actually really hard to date people that I meet through the band, because a lot of the times they'll want to hang out with the band even when I'm not there. And like that can be a little weird and like ruin the dynamic. So if they break up like, but they still come to the show, or they're friends with like the other band members. I was like, that sounds like a hot mess. So he never dated anyone who has like, at least a groupie, in that sense, but I was like yeah, that would be real messy,

Angela 24:56

my lord that yeah, that just sounds seriously so awkward. And then overall to anyone listening like general PSA, like if your significant other isn't there and like you don't already have some sort of like pre established relationship with his friend group or anything like that. Maybe you shouldn't be there either. I mean, this also just might be a hot take on my part too, because I personally don't believe that, like your significant others friends should automatically become your friends. Sure, over time, maybe through marriage. You have a couple kids together, something like that. I don't know like something that like really cements your relationship together. Handfasting soul circles something I don't know what whatever you define as cementing your relationship, then I think it's, it's more acceptable for you to hang out with their friends if you are if they are not there, but generally no hard pass. Yeah,

Megan 25:46

that would definitely be strange, unless it was like almost like a sibling relationship, where it was something like that close, but otherwise, you have no business. It's like, Hey, what's going on when Ben's not here?

Angela 26:00

Right? I actually um, I was just listening to another podcast that I really like to hot takes and they did this whole segment. Oh, okay. I might be confusing two episodes. I know. I listened to one recently on Prenuptial agreements and then one on like significant others who like got in hot water for like spending too much time either with their family or friend groups with a family. That one's interesting. I don't know big like I've heard I have heard stories. Oh, no, it gets weird. No, no, but I ironically enough, it's really funny. I brought up the prenuptial one because I'd heard this one before. Like, I think on my second date with Omp. And I was just like telling him all about it and how much I love like hot takes in general and how I'd found this new podcast recently, and I was super obsessed with it. And I was telling him all about it. And then I realized, oh, maybe this is an amazing second date conversation talking about how much I totally champion Prenuptial agreements and how this woman like, in my opinion is like a total gold digger. Honestly, it was hilarious because this is something that I get really into, but he was so confused by it. Essentially what happened was a man and woman were engaged to be married, he wanted her to sign a prenup. She said no. Like, how dare you plan on divorcing me all of a sudden she came into like a sudden inheritance or something like that. And then suddenly, she wanted him to sign a prenup. And then he said, Okay, I'll sign yours. If you sign mine. That way, both of our assets are protected. And then you know, anything that we accumulate after we're married, that's our common ground. And then she said, Absolutely not like you're just signing mine. I'm not signing yours, and then went to all of his family and friends. And we're like, you need to get him on my side. And then apparently, like, they all went to him, and we're like, Wow, dude, we can't believe like, you're gonna mess up like such an amazing marriage by like not signing this prenup. Yeah. So I was explaining all of that to him. And then he was like, Wait, how can she even have that much influence on his friends? Like, shouldn't they have separate friends? Why isn't she going to her friends? I was like, because that's the thing. All of their friends became friends together. And then it just becomes a great big problem.

Megan 28:13

Yeah, I mean, if it's already, like an initial group of friends, like that makes sense. Like, yeah, but if you didn't know them prior to dating and the significant other and then like, you're better friends with them, or just hang out with them outside that gets odd.

Angela 28:28

So I've actually thought of something that might be new for you. I don't know if it is, though, so you'll have to tell me. Okay, so you and Ben have an age difference? We do. Have you ever had this type of age difference before? I will be as discreet as you would like me to be?

Megan 28:44

Um, no, that's fine. I mean, we're only two years apart. So it's not the end of the world. Like I I haven't really dated too many people that were younger than me, maybe just when I was like, younger, just because it's always that awkward. Like, oh, he started school later, and then you started early. So it's like kind of that but outside of that most of my, like past relationships. They've been a little older. It doesn't come up all that much. But it's funny when we do talk about shows that we grew up with, like that's, I guess the biggest thing I mean, obviously, yeah, so he grew up on like watching like Spongebob and like stuff like that, which like I watched it too, but that was more so like what my little cousins watched so I was kinda like Oh, I'm too cool to watch a bunch of ads so I mean, we're starting to watch it now. together because that's our like after squid squid game show because I can't go to bed watching murders, but

Angela 29:45

squid game is so amazing. Oh my god.

Megan 29:47

It's it's really good. But I would prefer not to have nightmares. So we are with squaring it and watching after so it's fun. I I've actually seen all the episodes so far. But yeah, it's so it's just funny, like just hearing the different the differences there. But besides that, it's it hasn't been a big deal. But what is crazy is that when there's one instance where I dated someone a little younger in college, and I think is probably the same age difference, but I remember that a lot of people were kind of giving me grief about it, like, oh, you know, he's younger, and this and that. And it's like, who cares? Like, it's, I don't I don't understand. So it was just like, I think it was mostly like other men who were really negative comments. Yeah, like, I remember someone specifically said that they kind of like, I don't know if their words verbatim were like looking down on me. But something basically along those lines, like, oh, okay, hater. Yeah, so it was really strange. But I mean, especially as you get older, like, it's not like a big deal at all. So I would definitely say like, that shouldn't deter anyone, as long as you're your legal. Obviously, like,

Angela 31:03

it's most important thing. Yes. Always confirm. Yes.

Megan 31:07

Keep it keep it legal. That is, that is the most sexy of things. But yeah, so I mean, because I've also dated a little older too, but it's like, whatever you're comfortable with, you know, like, some people prefer to stay at the same age or, you know, a little older, whatever else. But I mean, I think at the end of the day, it's the person that you connect with, versus you know what that difference is,

Angela 31:29

so yeah, I totally get that. And like, I'll jump in the hot seat here, too, since I put you there. Conversely, to Megan dating someone younger, I am dating someone older. And actually, for me, this is something that's very new, because I've only ever dated people who are within maybe like six to eight months of my birthday, we are like always the same age. So this is very different for me. So I think, oh, MP and I, we have an age difference of five to six years. And like it didn't really seem like something like when I like set my parameters on the dating app was like, oh, whatever, like I can go up to 33. I'm 27, almost 28 years old. That's not a big deal. But then, like when we were getting to know each other, and he was telling me about all the places that he lived. And then he said something like, oh, yeah, in like 2007. That's when I moved here for college. I was like way in 2007. I still had playground monitors. So it was like for me like that definitely felt a little weird at that point. And then I kind of had to think about it a bit. But I'm surely Aly, your roommate, another friend of the podcast. She actually like really helped me with that. And her husband as well. Like when we were talking about it, and they as soon as I brought it up, they like shouted me down. And they were like, No, absolutely not like that doesn't matter at all. They're like, can you think about like what life would have been like, if you like, say like you were maybe the same age to like, think about the people that you are, would you have known each other? If you were the same age? Would you have even been in the same circles? So it's like probably not. They're like, exactly, they're like, so what was a few years matter? Yeah, that's like, no, totally. That totally makes sense. Yeah,

Megan 33:05

no, I mean, if you guys have a good connection, like you want to go for it, like there should be nothing that's stopping you.

Angela 33:13

Definitely, he's I don't know, like this might sound a little weird, but like, I'm definitely not a good vibes only person. And I feel like that's what I've really been finding within my age range the past few years. And Omp is a lot more of a realist like equal parts good and bad in terms of like his outlook on life and not trying to just like paint the rosiest picture. And that's been great for me, because I'm very much the same way. So I'm like we are on the same page.

Megan 33:42

Yeah, no, I see that. That's awesome.

Angela 33:45

Let's see. Is there anything else that's really new for us right now? Oh, for long distance, because I know this is kind of new. I actually tried do some research because that's just my brand here at the podcast. And I've found some things which I mean, I don't necessarily understand them. So you person in a long distance relationship. I want you to tell me if you find any merit in them. Okay. I'm intrigued. The first thing I have here is a long distance promise bracelets.

Megan 34:16

Absolutely. That that is not I mean, super cute if that's what you're into, but no, unless it's like nice jewelry. I'm not going to be wearing it. Like if it's like a like a holiday gift. Sure. And we decide like he wants a nice watch and I want a nice bracelet like okay, I can get behind that. But when you said that I was thinking like oh, I like the little like element a

Angela 34:44

little like friendship bracelets.

Megan 34:46

Yeah. Like no.

Angela 34:49

I'm literally only using this word because I just saw Brian like a week ago but I'm like they look kind of like the lava stones with maybe like a different color kind of like Like accent stone in them and they're matching.

Megan 35:02

Hmm, I don't know if we would ever do any sort of matching jewelry. Oh, I'm also gonna

Angela 35:09

say okay, all right. So no to promise bracelets. Um, the next one that came up was a are a lot of these articles actually did, like 25 Questions to Ask your long distance partner. Okay, I just pulled out some of my favorite ones from this one article. Okay, num first, would you describe yourself as a hugger? Um, it depends who it is actually. Yes and no. Okay, all right. I'm gonna say I'm gonna take that back. Maybe that question does have some merit because you took that seriously? Oh, was I not supposed to? I'm not quite sure how what like it more. It caught me off guard because I was like, shouldn't you know if I'm a hugger or not? Or like if there's a hugger? Oh,

Megan 35:59

I think Oh, were you asking about myself or about him?

Angela 36:02

No, these are questions for you to ask Ben. Oh, okay.

Megan 36:05

God, I thought you're asking me. I am a hugger.

Angela 36:10

Yeah, I just I desperately needed to know that.

Megan 36:11

I think Ben's a hugger. Yeah.

Angela 36:15

Okay. Um, what type of gifts do you like to buy yourself?

Megan 36:19

I would say experiences Okay, I'll take myself out to dinner for him in and out. Or truly I asked him it's like when you are having a rough day and you're sad what cheers you up or like what is your comfort? Good. He said in and out.

Angela 36:36

Oh, anything from the secret menu? Um,

Megan 36:40

I don't know actually put his preference is vanilla shakes over chocolate. Oh, that is where we differ to dip french fries. Ooh. So we both like that, but he would go for another over chocolate.

Angela 36:52

Oh, very interesting. And then this last question was my favorite if coffee was illegal? what would its alternative drug name be?

Megan 37:01

Okay, I can ask him. I mean I have no idea. I don't drink coffee. Although when I was in Hawaii not too long ago. I got these chocolate covered pea berries. That sounds really good. Amazing. Like I don't drink coffee. Like the smells amazing. But the taste is not where it's at. But yeah, I was eating these like candy though. They were delicious.

Angela 37:27

Nice. Wait, didn't you come back with some coffee from there too though? I did I bought it for Ben. Oh, you're such a good girlfriend. Oh, I'm just over here knocking Oh MPs food to the ground. I think I've done this like five times now. That's continuously spilling things into His presence.

Megan 37:46

Great. No. So I when I landed I was there before my family if I a couple hours and so I just went to a local coffee shop and I was like, oh coffee like this looks good. And so I just bought a coffee there or like the ground coffee. And so I could take it back for him and then we ended up stumbling upon a what is the word like a coffee farm and so we did tastings of all the different coffees they had and there was fun it was cookie berry coffee that I actually really enjoyed so that the P various kind of a more great rare being because typically like the beans will break and then that's what the like using the coffee but the P berries when living doesn't like split and so it's the whole bean that's us so like they didn't Brian like the coffee or anything. Like you could only buy it and like whole but it almost tasted like a strong tea. And I think that's why I really liked it. But yeah, that's been like the only coffee I've enjoyed, so I was like shoot well I bought him the Kona coffee already and I was like you know what, I'm gonna buy him this too. So he got two coffees out of that trip.

Angela 38:54

Lucky guy lucky lucky guy. I know I was awful when we went to Disneyland I was determined to bring something back for Omp because he's never been before and I'm trying to sell him on the magic of Disneyland Well he's not from here so I guess it makes sense that he's never been before right that was my reaction so I was like we need to remedy this right now was like It is Christmas time there are decorations the magic is abundant was like we

Megan 39:22

need to go that's double data to Disney Ben is a huge Disney fanatics he used to work there oh my god really? Yeah, he used to work on the NEMO right Oh,

Angela 39:33

that's so cool.

Megan 39:35

No, he's told me stuff about it and I'm like oh my god. So apparently like they would like easily catch fire like just like little fires like they had to keep like switching them out of the lot. Nemo was catching on fire. Yeah, it's just like a normal thing. But like this awesome, terrifying.

Angela 39:57

Justice for me. Oh, he's been throwing off

Megan 40:01

Yeah, so just like little stuff like that, but he knows just like random facts about Disney. Like that's I know that Disney cats are thing.

Angela 40:08

Disney cats like The Aristocats Those are

Megan 40:11

great. But no, there's actual cats that will roam around Disney and like that's why they don't have like my problems and stuff. So like, especially people who work at Disney, they can kind of see them like in the back, like hanging out, like behind riots and all that jazz. But yeah, so Disney cats are a thing.

Angela 40:29

That's so cute. But then I also wonder who's feeding them? Where's their shelter? Are they okay?

Megan 40:36

I'm sure like get by. I mean. But yeah, he he is very hardcore Disney. We are actually planning a trip to Disney World together, which will conveniently be around our six months. Oh, yeah. Not planned, but a nice co encoding. And my brother was giving me recommendations because him and his girlfriend recently went and they're like, oh, you should do this and that. And so I was telling Ben like, Oh, these are all the recommendations My brother gave me. And he goes, Oh, how cute. He's like, Oh, when people think they know Disney, I just think it's really funny. Like, like, oh my god, like, Okay, well, like you're putting our whole trip basically, because I am not going to know anything. I was at Disney World I was fed. So

Angela 41:27

I really want to go to Disney World, you're gonna have to tell me all about that. And also, just generally, I'm going to need some tips for planning a trip with a significant other because I've never done that before. And I get a little bossy, so I kind of worry about it.

Megan 41:43

I don't know I I've gone on trips with you. And you weren't bossy in the slightest. So I don't know how you are around Omp. But if it was anything like our Denver trip, then

Angela 41:53

I think you're fine. Right? Well, okay, if you feel like I'm not being bossy, then hopefully he won't feel like I'm being bossy because I thought I got plenty bossy. And Denver was like, No, we need to go here, here and here, like now and then swap that for this day, and then move this up. Like, let's change this dinner reservation to a lunch reservation

Megan 42:14

that I just like,

Angela 42:14

okay. See, I think I'm really bossy. But I also wonder if it's one of those things where when I like say like, Oh, I was bad. And they didn't hold the door open for someone and I let it go like just an inch before their hand reach reaches the handle. Oh, like maybe it's one of those things?

Megan 42:33

No, I think to a certain extent, it's refreshing because I can be a little indecisive. So you're like, Okay, we're going here. Like, all right, Angeles taken the wheel. So I mean, I don't know if OMG has a similar kind of personality, or like to kind of run things, but I think it's it worked out. Well. For us. At least

Angela 42:53

we will we will find out there has been talk of a camping trip. Ooh, fun. Yeah, my hair is gonna hate me.

Megan 43:02

All day, we'll be fine. Yeah, that's true. Cute little buns, ego, outdoorsy,

Angela 43:06

maybe I'll like I'll braid it really well or something. Give myself like a princess Leia crown or something.

Megan 43:12

There you go. Well, I guess Ben and I have gone on little trips. But I've come to find that we're both very go with the flow. So if neither of us like are like really set on doing something, we're both very indecisive, and won't really like pick something. So I think that will be something interesting to see if we can avoid.

Angela 43:35

Well, I mean, it sounds like he has such strong Disney opinions. I feel like you should be fine. Does

Megan 43:41

that maybe because our other instance wasn't Disney related. Maybe you're trying to like find somewhere to eat before he had to leave or his wife. And so we tried to get deep dish, but the line was going to be long. It's like, oh, well, I guess we can try going somewhere else. But then that didn't pan out either. And there's like this huge gust of wind. And so I ended up getting something in my eye, which was really hurting. And so I was already agitated has like, like, that's just pick something. And you saw I was like, well what kind of food you want. He's like, Oh, American, and I was like, Okay, well, we can go here here in here. Like, what sounds good. He's like, I don't know. I was like, I don't know, either. So I mean, I was also just like, focusing on my pain. But yeah, it's like, oh, like I could have handled it better. But I noticed that we're both just very indecisive in that moment. I was like, oh, like one of us will need to step up like this.

Angela 44:35

I have heard this from several people not about you but just about like situations that they've been in recently where like neither party wants to make like the final decision. So it's definitely been like a learning curve there. And yeah, it's it's really funny because like, not necessarily that like oh, MP or like, oh, MP and I have such strong opinions that we can't make a decision but like we both can come up with full plans and then approach each other and like lay it out on the others like But wait, there's another way that we could also do this. So it's I don't know, it's been fun. We've we've learned compromise together, we've learned how the other prioritizes things, so it's pretty good overall, right? Oh, wait, so you said Ben knows some of your siblings, right? Yeah. Have you met your parents?

Megan 45:23

So he's met my mom a couple of times. We've all gone to Disney Land together throughout the years. So he knows my mom pretty well. Actually. He just met one of my brothers not too long ago, and he had met the other one through another Disneyland trip. So I think it goes back to Disney all comes back to Disney. Yeah.

Angela 45:43

It was like a significant moments in your life must now relate back to Disney. If they have been like, this was like, was it Now

Megan 45:50

what's really funny, is when I was telling my friends here in Chicago about I guess, going to Disney all the time, and then us going to Disney World. They are like, Oh my gosh, are you getting engaged on this trip? And I was like, No. I know, like, you're gonna get engaged at Disney. It's like, Oh, my God. Like, that is ridiculous. Because we like Disney a lot. That's fine. Oh, my God, like we was alone. So yeah, we've just been poking fun, but they actually got to meet him when he was here, which was a total blast. Everyone liked him. So

Angela 46:24

everyone's met Ben, but me now. You know, well,

Megan 46:27

hopefully in December, we can try and work something and he'll actually be meeting my dad and stepmom for the first time on that trip. Oh, I'm very excited. I think that they're going to get along smashingly they're going to have so much in common. So Lee Yeah, like Ben's in the band. My dad has been in bands most of his life. Oh, my God. And then yeah, my stepmom like also is in like a band with him for some time. Like, I always say, my parents are like, cooler than I am. So I think that they just gonna have a lot of fun music and rock and roll stuff to talk about. And then we're gonna go to a couple of breweries, and I think that's gonna be something good that they can also all find about while I'm drinking like the lightest beer there is.

Angela 47:11

I do have to say, though, for anyone who's listening again, like my brand, my parents are my best friends. But like Megan's parents, they like seriously seem cool. I have not met them. But I feel like every time I hear from you, and like, you've just seen them. You're like, Oh, I'm so exhausted. I just did like so many things with my parents. Yeah. They're constantly on the go.

Megan 47:31

Yeah, they were in town for my sister's wedding not too long ago. And I didn't take much time off of work. I was out until at least one to 2am every single day. The next morning. Yeah, we wait until I get a jazz bar. And then we went to this like New Orleans type bar and then a speakeasy. And like, it was a total blast, but I was like, I am exhausted.

Angela 47:54

That is Oh, my gosh, I got it. Seriously. Sounds like so much fun. Yeah, they're, they're a hoot. So I'm on my list for this year. Meet Ben and meet your parents.

Megan 48:05

Yes. Oh, that'd be so fun. I can't believe you haven't met them yet. I know, many of my friends have met my parents. I've met your mom. Yeah. I don't even know when that was

Angela 48:14

though. Oh, gosh. I think that was like so long ago. Maybe like your junior year end of your junior year. I think it was really fast.

Megan 48:21

So I know that one of your twins has also met my mom. And she's met her a couple times. But yeah, I don't know if you or your last one has really interacted with her much.

Angela 48:33

I don't think a ton but yeah, we're adding it all to the list. Okay,

Megan 48:36

that sounds good. And I need to see Oh, MP. We can double data

Angela 48:40

I like I'm literally making a list of all the things I want to do in December like fun like holiday like centric activities. So I'll send it to you and you can let me know which one looks best. I think I have Christmas bars, ice skating Santa cookies. There's an ornament workshop I'm looking at which I don't know it's very good for me. I don't know how much fun everyone else would have decorating ornaments but

Megan 49:06

so funny, but I'm down although if we do ice skate, I'm going to be that person death gripping this the Raelians as I go,

Angela 49:13

Oh, say Mito, it's okay. We're gonna have a blast. Yeah, we can get like one of those little like Kid walkers that like they teach them to like skate. Well, I would totally be down like I would rock that. Right? Like a walk, girl. Nice. Grandma's go ice skating.

Megan 49:29

That's so funny. Actually, Ben teases me because I tell him like certain things that I enjoy or whatever. And he's like, You remind me of my grandma. I'm so glad your grandma and I have so much in common. And he'll also say me and his mom have so much in common. So I'm like, I'm very interested to meet her. So like we get along very nicely.

Angela 49:50

Very nice. So

Megan 49:51

this is actually maybe an age difference link. So he tries to tell me that shits Creek is for old people. And I was like well known No, it's like that is like a rage show. He's like, Yeah, cuz my mom loves it. And I was like, Well, I think to,

Angela 50:05

like your mom has an excellent sense of humor. Yeah.

Megan 50:09

So I'm gonna force him to watch it with me. And then we're gonna kick that out of his noggin. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, he's gonna like it. He doesn't know it yet. But he was.

Angela 50:20

What I tell everyone is you have to get through the first five, six episodes. How many? I think so. Just because I mean, not to give away any sort of like, huge spoilers here. But those first few episodes are really sad. Like, they're really feeling sorry for themselves.

Megan 50:35

I don't know, like, sad.

Angela 50:37

I remember you're sad. Like, these people are so sad to be there. And they are so upset. And they're like, nothing is going right for them and you feel really bad. Like the acting is so good. Like, you're you're having such a visceral reaction to it.

Megan 50:52

But do you feel bad that like they portray them as like such like entitled jerks? And so you're kind of like, okay,

Angela 50:58

I mean, if Yeah, like they're they're definitely entitled, but I don't know. I don't know if I'd call them jerks. Like I think they were they were people bubble people. Yeah, like they definitely were definitely in a bubble was like, I don't know if I'd go so far as to label them like jerk faces.

Megan 51:16

I mean, they like talk pretty down on some of like townspeople, though.

Angela 51:22

Yeah, but I feel like it could have been so much worse,

Megan 51:25

I guess was mean that they were nice. Well, no,

Angela 51:29

definitely not nice. But I think I don't know. I think it came from maybe like a different place.

Megan 51:34

I don't know, a different place. That's fair. I would say you just have to get through the first episode, because there's a lot of screaming that takes place. And I was like, All right, like over there. That's better.

Angela 51:46

First episode. First Five. Let us know in the comments what you think.

Megan 51:51

Yeah. I mean, you have to watch the first episode for like context, like you understand what's going on. But you're kind of like, Alright, I got it.

Angela 52:00

I don't know this might be it's not the most fun topic, but I think it's something like we definitely have the space to talk about right now. Technically, you and I are both in interracial relationships. Yes. And how does that make you feel?

Megan 52:14

Um, it hasn't really affected me all that much Ben grew up in like a predominantly that Tina, like Latino neighborhood and community. So I am actually like, exactly his type it's so funny like seeing his past girlfriends and like, we all pretty similar.

Angela 52:36

Oh, okay, I've I've been there. I am cuter, obviously. But of course, of course, and way smarter and funnier, because you're my bag. So I have to say all these things, but you actually are. I definitely feel that though. Like one in one of my past relationships. When I I never met any of his exes. But I saw their photos. I was like, we all look exactly alike. And we even had variations of the same name. Oh my god. That's yeah, Angela. Angelina Angelica was weird. Yikes. Yeah. Bullet dodged.

Megan 53:16

That's so funny. Yeah. It's like when people try to like find their mom in a relationship or something for like someone who resembles a parents.

Angela 53:25

Oh, scary. Like one of those definitely scary.

Megan 53:29

I don't know. Ben says, I have a lot of similarities with those moms. So maybe. No, but have you heard the I don't know if it's still a thing, but like that you end up marrying someone who looks similar to you. Have you heard that before?

Angela 53:48

I have not heard that one before. But I have heard that if you are attracted to people who look similar to you, it's a form of narcissism. Hmm, that makes sense. I mean, definitely. Because essentially, it's like looking at a mirror of yourself in a way.

Megan 54:05

Yeah. But I've also heard like, for someone who is very feminine and features will typically go for someone masculine, and then like, vice versa. So I've kind of heard that too. I don't know if there's any merit to any of this. But I always thought it was like really interesting, definitely something to think about, like what attracts people to one another,

Angela 54:29

like, I don't know, thinking about like, whether you look similar or you look dissimilar, very interesting to see how people have reactions to that because I know like, it's not necessarily something that any of us should be thinking about ever because we are all people and equality and I'm just gonna leave it at that I'm not going to get on a soapbox today, but it is something that I'm very conscious of because I have been in like past situations where someone's parents or friends weren't exactly happy to see me come home or to the event to meet them. I think it's just something that whether you're in a interracial relationship or like maybe you come from like different socio economic backgrounds, different cultures, anything like that you kind of have to level set with the other person early on in your relationship, things that you are okay with things that you're not okay with where your boundaries are, and go from there. I had this conversation with Omp, maybe about three months after we started dating, and I asked him flat out if he had ever dated anyone else who was not white and what his general experience was like, and then I let him know, like, I have been in bad situations before where I just haven't been made to feel accepted was like, and that's something that I'm not going to stand for. Yeah, absolutely. segwaying out of that a little bit big. We're in our late 20s. Yeah, we are. Yeah. Like we kind of date a little bit differently now.

Megan 55:59

Oh, totally. Yeah.

Angela 56:00

Do you have do you have like a list of things that like are like either? Oh my god, I'm totally blanking on the word right now. I like non negotiables is coming into my head. Like maybe that's the word but like deal breakers? Do you have a list of deal breakers?

Megan 56:14

Ah, yeah, I have a couple like, I have a cat. So they need to, you know, not be definitely allergic or, or to like not hate cats? Because I will have mugs for at least another 10 to 12 years. So he will be a family cat. Um, and I would say, No, I don't have any, like immediate ones that I can think of. But I would say like friends and family need to like them. I think that's really big. I agree. Like, I don't think that I could ever end up with someone where I wouldn't be able to have them around like my other loved ones. Like that would just be too heartbreaking. And then I would also say no, like deal breakers. I feel like, I don't know if this is a deal breaker though. But like, I would bike for their family to like me, like, I've heard of situations where it's like, oh, yeah, like my mother in law or father in law, like, can stand me and it's like, that's so sad. So again, I don't know if it's a deal breaker, but like, I think that would really take a toll on my relationship with my significant other. Like, it would just be such a huge strain and kind of like, you'd have to pick and choose. So I mean, I feel like that would just be a really sad kind of situation to have to go through.

Angela 57:30

I completely agree. I couldn't imagine a world in which I ended up with someone whose family didn't like me, because it's like, what does that ultimately do for holidays? For like the relationship of our future children? I wouldn't ever want anyone to feel like they had to pick sides, right? Or like pick up on any of that. Like, I think that's the biggest thing for me. Like, I wouldn't want outside innocent third parties to feel that tension. And then think that that was something that was just normal or to be expected. Yeah, identify them when they happen. Like Absolutely. I need to be with like, I can't be with a yeller. That's not me. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, it was like That's absolutely not okay. I need to be with someone who is financially responsible. You don't need to be like some finance or tech, bro. Like, make $16 million a year. There's like, but like, you need to make smart financial decisions with what you have is like, Please don't go like blow your entire paycheck on like, let's go get a Tesla or something. Like, I don't know, I don't know, are Tesla's even affordable these days. Because like I see high schoolers driving them now.

Megan 58:39

Yeah, fake news. That's nuts. Like I write Yikes. Privilege.

Angela 58:49

And then someone just generally who's like very kind and accepting because I know like, not necessarily everything that like I love is for everyone else. Like as you all know, listeners like I put out an entire episode devoted to Star Wars A couple weeks ago, so yeah, you don't have to love the prequels but you have to love that I do. I have

Megan 59:07

like I guess a must have list but I don't have like a must not have list

Angela 59:11

Oh sure. Sure sure your must have list okay after find it I love that you haven't written down

Megan 59:17

this brains not gonna remember but I did find my must have list so we can see where Ben aligns on.

Angela 59:29

Okay, all right. Let's do it.

Megan 59:31

Alright, so financially responsible is number one. Excellent. Yes, tech, good sense of humor. Check. family oriented oriented definitely must very good enjoys traveling or like learning speaking other languages. And we've already gone to Wisconsin together and are going to Disney World. So I would say yes, traveling check. likes cats, especially Mogwai. Check. Someone who will plan dates continuously. So It has to be a group effort, you know, can be one sided on similar tastes and music. So yes enjoys concerts and comedy shows. Disney fan. But as a must have perfect, yes Budi, someone who has a steady work like work life balance, sense of style and prefers to live closer to a city. Hi, um, I think I'd have to at least be like 45 minutes to an hour from like a big city. Like, even not feels far. Yeah, but I mean, I don't want to actually live in LA or San Francisco. So I feel like that's like, yeah, maybe closer. But that's why it's big for first to live closer.

Angela 1:00:43

Very nice.

Megan 1:00:45

I have no frat boy drinking mentality. Because very, college very important. Someone who is outgoing, I just think that's kind of matches my personality. If someone's too quiet, I tend to like match them. But as you know, Angela's that if I know you, I will talk your ear off and just be super goofy. So I need someone who kind of like matches that. And then I have someone who's affectionate ends and will give me words of affirmation, because that is my number one love language.

Angela 1:01:19

I love it. I love it. Yeah,

Megan 1:01:21

if you haven't gone through love languages with your significant other highly recommend. I didn't even take the quiz. But I just like know what mine are? Actually no, I took the quiz. But I didn't have Ben take the quiz. But we talked about it. And that was like, How do you like receive and like, give love? And so I told him what like the differences were? And he was like, oh, like no, definitely like this. So it's like, this is good to know. So very nice. Words of affirmation, which I appreciate that is very good. Yes. Um, I put someone who doesn't hunt, because I was willing to try new things, I think is should be higher on my list. Because I think that is huge. Definitely. Whether that's totally in our food, or, you know, just being open minded about different topics that might be hard to talk about, or, you know, whatever else. I think that's kind of an all encompassing one. And then like someone who's able to like work through arguments, I think that's that's a big one.

Angela 1:02:25

That is really important. Yeah, that has to be in like everyone's top five.

Megan 1:02:30

Yeah, no, it it reminds me of when I was when I had a long commute to work at my previous job. I would listen to DAX shepherds armchair expert a lot. And I believe in one of the podcast episodes, he was talking about, just like how him and Kristin would like fight, but she would just like stormed out of the room and like, not sell things and he's like, hold tight. Like, we can't do this. Like if this is gonna work. Like we have to actually talk through things and you can't just like run away. So, so seems like they work through it. But it's like, yeah, that's that makes sense. Like you need to be able to like confront what it is understand both sides and why you're feeling the way you're feeling. Like level set those expectations. So that's like that's really that's really important. Or like instead of just brushing things under the rug or something like actually being comfortable enough to say like, Hey, this is how you made me feel or like I'm I'm not okay

Angela 1:03:30

with it. No, actually, it's really funny that you brought up Dax Shepard in our church for it's because we love Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell here. And it's really funny because she actually gave an interview a few months ago, where she was talking about how they are surviving living with each other during the pandemic. So their couples therapist suggested that they alternate days and not come together anymore. So every two weeks, they get to go and vent to her about the other person, which I think is absolutely hilarious. Because she's like, then you guys aren't like bottling it up to yell at each other. She's like, you're just getting it out and you're talking it through and you can come to a place where you can then just like explain what you need or how you feel to the other person without it being this big thing. Yeah. It's really interesting. All right, Megan, round us out. Do you have any advice tips recommendations for people out there who are in new relationships right now?

Megan 1:04:23

Yeah, I would say you know, at the end of the day, you you want to find someone who you can be your true self around you know, not putting on a show are always have to be done up around this person. Like you want to be your most comfortable and like true self with them. Because if they're going to be your life partner, they're gonna see your ups and downs and vice versa. So I mean, you want someone that you can know confide in and you know, have as a support system on your side. So if you don't really see that in someone, I feel like it's hard to see it long term or to make that long term and one of my favorite movies is how do we see There's a quote that says don't get sucked into their dick sand which is basically like don't lose yourself in the relationship either. I know I'm definitely guilty of this, especially like when I was younger, but you know you are your own independent person. So you know, make sure that if you have hobbies or things that you like to do, make sure that you continue doing them like don't don't blend into the other person where you lose yourself

Angela 1:05:23

and I couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you very much for listening to this episode of In Omnia Paratus and a very big thank you to my big Megan for joining me today,

Megan 1:05:33

Of course. Thanks for having me.

Angela 1:05:34

Come back anytime. Promise. Grab your coffee bowls and don't forget to rate download and follow on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts as always where you lead will follow so head on over to @inomniapod on Instagram and let us know what you'd like to hear about in the comments. Bye

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