We’re over hiding tampons and pads in purses, sleeves, and pockets, so this episode is all about breaking down the boundaries associated with periods. Join us as we discuss health class, tampon sizing, first experiences, the Pink Tax, and those surprise visits from Aunt Flo more annoying than slow walkers on a narrow sidewalk.

Show Notes

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Jae 0:00

I pledge myself to the pod loyal I'll always be a P to start a D at the end and an O sitting in between. Welcome back to In Omnia Paratus. I'm Jae like the letter

and I'm Angela also known as AVO,

we are two friends diving into our own past and present evaluating if we were ever truly ready for anything, we discuss all things from the definition of dating to all the things school didn't prepare us for listen as we talk about career changes, give plenty of unsolicited opinions and work on becoming the type of people we want to see in the world.

Angela 0:35

Good morning everyone

Hi Jae

Jae 0:37

they're gonna go Paris Geller like the Good morning, Utah, Omaha, Nebraska.

Angela 0:43

Good Morning, Vietnam. It was way off it is up in the DMS. If you know what movie that's from, I've actually never seen it. I didn't know it was from a movie. Okay, we

Jae 0:52

were gonna test the mute button now, to see how this works.

Angela 0:56

Okay. Oh, I can see your lips moving but no sound. It's working. Okay, great.

Jae 1:01

Glad we got that out of the way. And it'll be interesting to see how this goes seeing each other. Unfortunately, you guys aren't going to get to see us because this is a test run. But we're seeing on the platform we use has a video function now to see how it works out.

Angela 1:15

I like it. I like the way that they structure it. You know, and I think I feel like aesthetically, it really appeals to you as well. And it has some of our brand colors in it does. Or is that just me? Am I slightly colorblind? You are but it does. Okay, cool. So Jay, how's your week been?

Jae 1:32

I don't even know what happened this week. Um,

Angela 1:35

I know it feels like kind of a blur. I can't

Jae 1:36

tell you what happened last week, though. My period started and ended. Okay. Oh,

Angela 1:41

okay. All right. So mine started at the beginning of this week. So it's almost over.

Jae 1:47

I'm no, we're on a Sunday. Now. I'm confused. Okay.

Angela 1:51

I'm okay. All right. I guess before we get into this first, how do you qualify your weeks? Because I think of them as Sunday to Monday. And then when I am on a Sunday and I think of last week I think of everything that happened from now to the previous Sunday.

Jae 2:06

But Sunday to Monday is eight, nine days. Because Sunday to Sunday is eight days. How does that work? Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, okay, Thursday, Friday, Saturday,


Angela 2:18

Monday. All right. Well, your other hands there was blocked by the pop filter. So I'll take your word for it.

Jae 2:23

Yeah, that was a nice nine days. I go by weeks go Sunday to Saturday, which is seven days.

Angela 2:28

I mean, frankly, I still count my years in terms of the academic calendar. So I'm like, Oh, yay, new school year every August and that's no longer relevant. Thanks. Exactly. Okay. So I have a question for you. Okay. Do you say you are on your period? Or you have your period? Um,

Jae 2:48

to answer your question, though, I don't. I flip back and forth. I use any sort of kind of reference for my new favorite one that I started a few years ago, as my body's reminding me can produce children one

Angela 2:58

day very nice. Yeah, I don't I don't know. I think I do the same thing. But when I was putting together the outline for this episode, I wanted to be grammatically correct. And I actually wasn't able to find anything I found a lot of articles about, which was the proper phrasing, but there were no clear answers. Did I just say, which was the proper phrasing? Maybe? I think I did. Oh, my God, the coffee hasn't kicked in yet.

Jae 3:23

You don't drink coffee today?

Angela 3:24

I do. Because again, I couldn't sleep last night. Okay. I think we settled it. We both say intermittently on our period having a period we're not exactly sure which is grammatically correct. And hopefully listeners as you put together right now, today, we're talking about our periods the menstrual cycle, known by many fun euphemisms, such as aunt Flo, the Crimson Tide, the red wedding, strawberry gushers you carry and even more than that, J do you have? Do you have a favorite? I'm assuming that carry comes from people younger than us, because I've never heard that one before.

Jae 3:58

I've heard it. You've never Oh, really? Yeah, like the movies? Oh, yeah,

Angela 4:01

totally. I just I've never heard anyone use it in that way before.

Jae 4:05

I've heard it on shows. I've heard it in reference. I've never used it because I don't do horror movies. So I wouldn't jump that way. But you forgot about the favorite one I introduced you to

Angela 4:14

Oh, Shark Week. That is excellent. I think the new one that I found in this was strawberry gushers. And I thought that was appropriate.

Jae 4:24


Angela 4:25

I sometimes like you know what it just I like

Jae 4:28

eating strawberry gushers No.

Angela 4:30

Oh, okay. Sorry. I didn't even think of that. I'm not a gushers person.

Jae 4:35

real fruit roll up person.

Angela 4:36

I was actually the one

Jae 4:38

that will take a sheet of paper, the one that rolled

Angela 4:41

I liked the one that rolled better.

Jae 4:43

I like the one with tongue

Angela 4:45

but for whatever reason, like the paper. Oh, those were cute. Whatever happened to those? Do they still exist? Yes. All right. So getting back on topic here historically, and even today in some areas of the world. There's a lot of stigma attached to peer it hovers when that time of the month comes around, but it's a regular, normal biological happening outside of all of our control. So vagina hovers This one is for you today, we're pulling back the curtain here to try to normalize the conversation for everyone. I thought in the spirit of this because this can be a little weird to talk about, we would just get it out, shake the nerves off and start with story time. So Jay, do you have a period related story you would like to share? Or do you want? Do you want to rock paper scissors it to see who goes first.

Jae 5:31

But before I tell the story, why did you want to talk about this?

Angela 5:36

Like for the people or for me personally?

Jae 5:39

Well, this was one of your month topics. So both, I guess like this is a topic because you wanted us to speak on this.

Angela 5:47

Okay, well, personally, I would just like to normalize this conversation all around, I think that there have been a lot of moments in my life where I felt the need to hide my period or hide the fact that something was going on, or I was really worried that someone would notice something. And that's one week, approximately every 35 days for me that I'm overly anxious and trying to hide something that I really don't need to be ashamed about. Like it happens. It's normal. It's it's just something vagina hovers go through. And please note that I'm saying vagina hovers. Because this is not just a women girls issue. This is a vagina Havers issue, not like I'm still learning about that as it I don't know what this is. But I'm still learning about like correct terminology, and everything like that. So I'm just I'm just going to leave it at vagina Havers for today. Also, just in the interest of vagina hovers throughout the world, I think that there's a lot of things related to periods that we don't talk about. So I want to touch on this a little bit later. But I feel like the ideas of period poverty and menstrual equity aren't really discussed as often as they should be. And they're just sort of put down and the eloquence is just not there today, folks, but it's just it's not right. And I want to talk about it. And I want to just help get rid of some of those taboos and stigmas associated with it so that this becomes a little easier for

Jae 7:18

people down the line. very fair, I feel like the biggest thing that anyone who's had a period must have gone through at least once is being out in public being anywhere that's not your home and needing to try to hide a period catching device, try to slide it into a pocket, try to slide it into their bra try to slide it into their shoe, trying to make it unseen. So they can change and try to stay hygenic while not making a huge fuss around everyone around them.

Angela 7:48

Oh my gosh, really. And then

Jae 7:50

I was gonna say, I know, there are companies that make cute little packages and cute little things to make it more appealing. But it's like I personally haven't, I know there's a huge stigma around it. And I don't feel like I've personally fortunately experienced a lot of that I do feel the thing of like slipping a pad or slipping a tampon into my shoe or into my bra somewhere when I don't want it to be seen. But it's also just something very personal that I don't think needs to be announced needs to be I see period is kind of like, I'm not trying to say I'm super evolved in any way or that I'm more educated as conversation or anything, but I'm kind of at a place where it's a non issue, I get my period, it's gonna happen. And for me personally, I just rather keep it as discreet as possible. It's my issue to deal with I'm going to do it I don't think that people make a big deal. I don't think people should or shouldn't make a big deal out of it. I just think it happens I there should definitely be more access to supplies and people should be educated on it. But like in my own life, it's kind of a, this happens. I don't need to like wave my tampon around for everyone to know. And I also don't take it from people when they have a comment about it that I need to go fix something because it's not their issue to deal with it. And I think we should all be able to get to that point.

Angela 8:55

So hopefully after today, after talking about it, I'll feel a little better listeners. Hopefully you'll feel a little better too. And we'll go from there.

Jae 9:03

What happened to your nose?

Angela 9:05

I think because the computer is lower than me so that I can have the mic at the optimal it looks pinched level you're like I know this is a very good angle for my nose. Not for the rest of my face. But my nose is looking great.

Jae 9:19

I know I look like you can't afford it or got like a nose

Angela 9:22

tuck right? You should just actual level on camera. This is my normal nose. This is the cute nose just

Jae 9:29

have everyone

Angela 9:30

take photos of you like Oh see but then because of my eyebrows I get that like really weird thing with my eyes.

Jae 9:37

I mean, you can try both and then experiment and see which ones people like more Oh,

Angela 9:41

maybe I just really have to learn how to photo Edit and then I crop at like know the whatever this portion is called and then No, it won't work because your eyes are so okay,

Jae 9:53

all right to be able to get the two angles to match up.

Angela 9:56

Oh my god or maybe I just give myself extra big eyes.

Jae 9:58

You don't need to give yourself Extra, because you have big eyes, you have big eyes,

Angela 10:03

I really go for that deer in the headlights. Look,

Jae 10:05

the only real story I have is my first period, which I kind of feel like is the one that most people have a story for, because you never really know when it's going to happen. For me, I was giving a poor of my middle school to incoming sixth graders. And it was the summer between sixth and seventh grade I believe. And I agreed to do this with one of my best friends at the time. And we went to the boba ice cream shop a few blocks away afterward, before her mom came to pick us up. And I went to the author mean like, saw it and then I called my mom on my flip phone. I didn't have my Blair Waldorf read like envy yet I had a flip phone. And I'm just like, what do I do, I didn't have anything because I didn't think do like I it wasn't on my head that that was gonna happen. Fortunately, her mom picks up this friend of mine was on the later end of development, but she was always very envious of her friends who started develop, whether it was like their test configure or when their period started, she was always like, very excited. She was one of those girls who was like, really, really ready to become a woman in the physical sense. And me, someone who I was like, it's gonna happen, like I have it. But she was really excited about it. So like, we go back to her house. Fortunately, her mom's awesome. She had ply, she helped me figure it out. And we were supposed to go to the movies later. So we ended up still going to see hairspray after it was a little traumatic, because I was kind of like, oh, what

do I do? Thankfully, they

had pads, if I had had to instruct them how to put in a tampon, I would have panicked, probably and panicking. The last thing you want to do when trying to insert a tampon, then we go to the movies. And then I remember a few days later, we're having to sleep over this friend's house. I'm like, we're all planning on going to the sprinklers and like running around and like, she makes like a big deal. Like of it. She's like, Oh my god, like I told all our other friends like they know like, oh, okay, thank thank you. Again, she was very excited. And I can understand that I guess for someone who wasn't having some of these changes, and kind of hearing about it having older cousins have older siblings, older friends, like why that's a conversation that is fun to have. But it was a thing of like, Oh, don't worry, like, we know we're going into the water. Like, we have things like you don't have to, like I understand. So it was like it was very supportive. But also it was a thing of like a very kind of mystified, magical excitement for what this meant. And then ever since they're the biggest lie I was told is that my period would regulate itself. And then everything was fine. But that's a different line of topics. We'll

continue on, I'm

sure later in this episode. Oh

Angela 12:30

my gosh, okay, I that's a little hard for me to wrap my head around, honestly, because my experience was so different. None of my friends in middle school openly talked about their periods. It was something that everyone basically tried to hide, and I didn't really talk about it with friends until high school.

Jae 12:50

I didn't have a choice. I was with her in the boba shop. And like, I didn't have I mean, I don't know what I would have done. Otherwise. I had known a few of my friends had gotten there. And I'm like, fourth fifth grade, but of my kind of more middle school friend group, I think No, I was the second one of the girls already had it. But she didn't say anything. But she also had an older sister, I believe. I don't know how that conversation would have gotten but like, she was the one person I knew in the situation. And like, my mom wasn't there and right other than my mother was would be the parent I would have wanted for that situation, because she was very much like, okay, and she very much would take cues from whatever one of our friends this happened to and do it whether they needed comforting whether they needed just kind of like for me it was more of a Okay, this happened. Like what do you need? What do you want to do? Like, it was very like, okay, like, congrats, let's let's go forward. But I don't know if I had had the choice. What I have told my friends or what I have not.

Angela 13:43

Okay. I mean, overall, it sounds like a really good, nice supportive experience. Stephanie. Oh, yeah. And that's good. That's what we should all have. Yeah, I think I definitely didn't bring mine up with friends. I started mine right before fifth grade on a Girl Scout camping trip. So I was definitely with a lot of other people, but I kept it to myself. Do you still have your you have your sash? somewhere? Yeah. Although I had a vest. I always

Jae 14:11

wanted to be a Girl Scout. But there were no troops where I am. Which does I mean? Really? Yeah. There weren't any at the time, which to me makes no sense. So weird.

Angela 14:21

Really, though.

Jae 14:23

There were no troops here.

Angela 14:24

Feel like you would have loved being a Girl

Jae 14:26

Scout. I wanted to be a Girl Scout so badly, especially after watching true Beverly Hills. There were no there were no troops here.

Angela 14:34

Well, I wonder if you have to be suburban. Like a former Girl Scout to be a troop leader. Oh, no. I meant for

Jae 14:42

you. Like you can be a troop leader. No. I live vicariously through watching the Sister Sister episode which Mayor goes back for it. I'm good. But if you hide on it, okay. Hide your badge. I would like us to do a show and tell with it. And then I can ask a bunch of questions. Oh, okay. Then I can make you do all the things, the badges Clary You have the abilities to do

Angela 15:01

so actually in true Angela fashion, I went for a lot of badges that I don't have. But I did read and do all of the practical things for them. I just didn't actually get them supervised by my troop leader because she was a little bit. What's the word racist? Oh, my God. No, I don't know. I don't think that I think she was just a little she was a little more into like the fun good times of it rather than the practicalities. So we did events and we went camping. Like we did a lot of ice skating and cookie sales and playdates and troop meetings, but they weren't actually related to Girl Scout business. It was more us like watching movies and hanging out while our parents hung out. And then yeah, yeah, let's continue with Girl Scouts. Interesting.

Jae 15:51

So yeah, Girl Scout camping trip arrived home.

Angela 15:55

Yeah. And I didn't say anything. I just started taking pads from my mom's cabinet. And I'm assuming no, I know, it took her a few months to figure it out. Because I don't know. Sometimes when you start your period, it can be really irregular. So mine would come for like two or three days. And that was it. I wasn't going through a ton of pads. So I think maybe about three months later, my mom realized that they were going missing. And she sat me down and gave me a book to read on the changes of your body and puberty. And she had me sit in her room and read it. And it was it was a short book is maybe like 50 pages. So I read it. And then when I was she told me just like Tell me when you're finished reading it. So I was like, okay, as soon as I was done, she was like watching me read it. And she asked, Do you have any questions? And I said no. And she was like, okay, and that was it. Hmm. And honestly, I think I kind of I personally liked it that way, because I'm already sort of a little weird about medical things and things with my body. And I definitely had a little bit of anxiety going into my first period because my reference point for it was the movie my girl. I don't I don't know if you've ever seen it, but the main character she actually gets

Jae 17:11

is that's the one where the kid dies not wearing his glasses. Yes. I've only seen that scene and like montage of like movies that make you cry. And I cried from the scene. So I have no interest in watching the movie.

Angela 17:23

Oh, God. Yeah, that part. Oh, my God. It's it's a very good, cute, but also heartbreaking movie. Yeah, so that was my only reference point, the main character, she gets her period that summer, and she doesn't know what it is, but her father's a mortician. So she knows and is adjacent to a lot of medical terminology related to death. So she knows what hemorrhaging is. So she runs through the house yelling that she's hemorrhaging. And that literally goes through my mind. Like every time I have my period. Ooh. So yeah, it just, it just gives me like a little bit of anxiety. Like every time it starts, I'm like, Is this normal? Has it been 30 days? Is something wrong? Am I hemorrhaging? Even though I know realistically, I'm totally not like, that's just always been there. So I was very happy to not have to talk about it anymore. And then as I got older, my mom and I talked more about it, but I think neither one of us were really ready for it to happen that early. How old were you? I was almost 11. This was like right before fifth grade started. So I think almost 11 Yeah,

Jae 18:30

I was turning into summer before I was 11 and a half. Mm hmm. But I do have friends who had gotten in like fifth fourth grade who were like, Nah, I think nine as the youngest I ever heard, like, Oh my god, that that that sounds terrible. Mm hmm. But how did you know you? Okay, you knew you weren't hemorrhaging. You knew you were having a period. But when did when did a period become a concept? I know, I must have learned about it before but my first like memory that I can pull it out. It's this book series, The TTY l ones that we're all kind of like an emoticon like in this group chat. It's also like when I learned that at some point, like hair would start growing. And I was like, what, what I didn't know how to pronounce the word for the hair. I was like, What is this word? Like? It looks like public but it's not public. And I was like, Mom, what is this like? And I didn't like that's how I like learned about that.

I think that was like,

Angela 19:15

Oh my god, I always wanted to read those books.

Jae 19:18

I think I just read the first one. But that's where I started not from like a social or like a like a, like a cultural reference. I'm sure I had other ones before that. But that's like the one that I remember around the time that this was all happening.

Angela 19:30

Okay. I feel like mine was also from a book too. But

Jae 19:34

did you read the cookbooks?

Angela 19:35

I think they do in the later books, but I don't think those came out until we were in like seventh eighth grade. So by then it was already a thing, but I think mine also came from a book but I know I also got into a lot of books that were too mature for me at that age, of course that I was reading them yeah, so unintentionally, like I didn't like go out seeking like we books, but they just found this is gonna be so weird. If anybody remembers RL Stein books goosebumps. There was also a few later additions of things that were meant for, like older teenagers, college students, and some of my cousins had those. And they were on the same shelf as the goose bumps. So I started reading those, and no one really noticed because I was always reading so it was just sort of assumed, like, oh, whatever, Angela found the new book, and then I didn't, I didn't know that they were inappropriate for me until one day one of my cousin saw it and was like, um, I don't think you should be reading that little third grade me reading about what goes on at like high school and college parties. So yeah, okay, so I guess it's my turn for storytime. Sure. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So initially, I was going to share this story, because as the icebreaker to get us into the conversation, but we're already in it. So talk about Carrie, do I still share in the interest of fairness? Oh, God, okay. Um, I can tell you, I had an incident at work now, a year and a half ago, because I because because of the pandemic, that's the last time I really spent good time in the office, but I went into another person's office to have a meeting with them. And the chairs in our office are gray, like this very light gray color. And I was on my period, I sat down and I was just like, chillin. And then at one point, I shift a little bit and things adjust. And I was wearing a pad. And I guess at some point, it shifted to the side. And the next thing I know, I can feel some things flowing. And oh, my God, okay, I was wearing really thin pants that day, too. They were black. Luckily. So I was covered there. But I didn't know exactly what to do about this light gray chair, because I didn't know if I if I shifted enough, like what had happened. And just to preface this all for you All, as well, I work in an office of mostly men, so I didn't really know what to say getting out of the office. So I just tried to push the meeting on for as long as I could. Oh, God. Yeah. really horrible. So what I did was I, I Oh my God, I didn't even want to really look. I just like was sitting there in the chair and was like, hmm, is this a new chair? Is this an old chair? And he was like, I don't know. I was like, You know what, I have a new chair at my desk. Why don't I just like, swap this out for you? If he's like, oh, it really doesn't matter. It's like, No, no, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna I'm gonna do this. You should totally have a new chair for like guests and things when they come into your office. So I took the chair with me when I left. Did you scoot in it? Or like,

Jae 22:41

how did no one no, I

Angela 22:43

I got up, but I Oh, my I got up. I like shifted my notebook off of my lap and put it on the chair seat. And then I just dragged the chair out, and I was like, I will be right back. So then I came back like 10 minutes later with the chair from my desk, so I can't go see isn't that so much better. And he looked at me like I was insane. I'm just like, I'm really sorry, I don't know how to tell you that I need to get blood out of your chair.

Jae 23:06

I mean, here's the thing, I think it's like period or not like vagina owners have a higher rate of having that incident happen. But if a guy like cut his knee and then like blood on someone's couch, like bleeding anyway, blood is hard to get out starting there, but is like a hard sub fluid substance to get out of clothing and or fabric and or anything. It's not possible to clean up your own or not. But vagina owners just have a higher chance of it happening when they're sitting because they get periods. So I think it's just like an unfair ratio, but I don't I feel like it'd be embarrassing for anyone to bleed on anything.

Angela 23:43

Oh, my God, just totally you have a higher chance than non veteran owners of the population. Yeah, or non vagina owners and like

Jae 23:50

Barber, Dinah owners with certain types of contraception. If you get your tubes tied, do you get a period? Or no,

Angela 23:56

I don't actually know. But I want to say no, because there's no, there shouldn't be a hormonal shift is Oh, I don't know. Well, we'll look into that. Right. Okay. So you talked about how your period is allegedly supposed to regulate as you get older. So mine actually started out very regular. Lucky you, like I've always been able to pinpoint, like, when it's gonna start when it should be ending if there's only been a few times in my young, my younger childhood years where it was thrown off due to stress or something. But within the last two years, it's gotten ridiculously insane minds never know, I went through this period about a year ago, where every two weeks it would come back. So it was like every two weeks I had a period for like three to four days very lightly, but it was just completely inconvenient, which sounds so wrong. But at the same time, it's just it really is inconvenient because you're just trying to go about your life and you're not expecting it and then bam, it's there.

Jae 24:58

Mine hasn't been regular since I got it. In middle school, and it would regulate for about six months, and then I would just lose it. And then it would come back. And then my doctor is always like, it's fine. It'll regulate a time it'll regulate it never regulated, it never got easier and never got normal. I never had any predictability. And it also felt like everyone else either wasn't either didn't share, didn't want to share, but everyone else around me it feels like has a regular period until college. So I don't know whether it's just the maturity or the friends, I had happened to be very lucky with it, or they were on birth control younger than I was, I don't know, but mine were never regular. And then it got really bad in college, because there were some some months, I believe, for an entire month in different levels. But like I had to be cautious, which was so inconvenient I was studying around here, but this happened, then my senior year of college got terrible. So it we do this thing prepping for sorority recruitment each year, where we have to go back a week early and two of our sisters were staying at my house. And there was like one day I almost thought I couldn't walk to campus to go because my cramps are so bad. And what I was told by a nurse and kind of everything is like I was at when I was anemic because what happened was my body was like because it wasn't self regulating, it wasn't shedding the way it should be. It was happening, it was so much like I had to swap out every hour or so which is far faster than one should need to with any type of thing. And I became a mnemonic from it. So I eventually got on birth control and like figured how to regulate that way. But my body can never regulate it. And it got worse. And I do have some hormone imbalances. And there are a lot of factors that could do it. Besides anxiety, stress, there are a whole bunch of things that can add to it. But with so many factors that can add to it. And with so many people who I'm now learning have endometriosis and pcls, and how common all these things are, I feel like I'd rather my doctor say it's normal, rather than it'll regulate. Because I feel like when you hear it or regulate it sounds like it's fine the way it is now. But at some point, your body's going to figure this shit out. And then mine just never did naturally. And the other thing this, this is just a quick little story. Um, I went on birth control because of my periods because I was becoming anemic because of all of these really bad symptoms. And when I went to the health center, she's like, okay, let's just say, you know, I'm gonna put this as contraceptive use, because that's the way to make it free. So she's like, I say, you're on getting birth control for contraception. Like it'll be free through the school. But otherwise, I'm like, What do you mean? I'm like, Okay, sure. And we're pro contraception here. We're pro pro choice pro having babies, when you want to have babies, your body, your choice, all that great things. But it was also frustrating that leg for something for me just wanting to not be anemic, and to try to get this to work out. It had to be under the guise of needing contraceptive.

Angela 27:41

I know I've heard this from so many different people, astounding, like not just with school health care, but with regular insurance going through an outside provider, like Planned Parenthood or something like that. It's so much easier to get birth control. If it's being prescribed for a birth control. I don't know, we'll call it a recreational use. Yeah, for like real birth control, rather than for something medically necessary. I know, I've never been on birth control. But it's been offered to me a few times, one in college for acne. And then two years ago, when I was having the every two week periods just to help my body re regulate and see if I could get back into that normal cycle. And luckily, I have pretty nice insurance from work. It's just so weird, because every time that we've talked about it, the doctor has also put in additional notes that said that I have asked for it for XYZ purpose for medical use. So that way, I always have access to it in the future if I need it so that it's something known and documented Should I ever requested in the future. There's no there's no question of why and it should be easier for me to get which I think is so I just think it's such an interesting juxtaposition to other people's experiences where it's not it where it's not prescribed to them medically. Sorry, that was such a weird sentence.

Jae 29:12

I also think with the medical advancements, I'm only speaking of this briefly, neither of us are medical professionals. I haven't even read the book I'm about to referenced or seen it. I've just seen a pattern recently of influencers and people speaking about how people are going off birth control and why they are for and kind of what birth control can do to one's body. I know it's a movement on social media to open up the pamphlet that comes in a birth control packet and re kind of all the symptoms and what can happen symptoms likely or not kind of things that most of us don't read just kind of like the terms and conditions when we agree to sign our life away to a social media or a game that there are there's a bunch of stuff in there and it's surprising at this point that I think I'm gonna way over simplify. That's what's like the main reason we have periods one day is so our eggs have the potential to be fertilized and frustrated produce and for me personally until I'm ready for that time, as long as I know that process can happen, I don't really care if I have my periods are regular till I go through menopause, as long as I'm sure my body knows can regulate and can have children, I'm not super religious, well, God will. And that's the only phrase I can go with right now. And that was kind of the other scary part about how kind of my period was as I was with my doctors, like, if you told me it's normal, it's normal. But I want to make sure that nothing's going this will not be affecting my reproductive system down the line, because I don't want to be going into 35, which is the age of a geriatric pregnancy and realizing that I've been doing things terribly for years prior. One of the reasons I don't want an IUD that I'm now 25 in, though, I have a friend who just had a recently terrible experience with it. But in general, I have friends who've had great experiences with their IUDs. But the whole thing is an IUD is meant to last for four to six years, and then to get those hormones out of your body and then have to like start for children is a little bit later than I want to kind of in my ideal timeline of things. So I just wouldn't get one in but people are stopping taking birth control, because of all of the extra things it can do it impact a vagina owner's body. And like I said, I have not done much research into this I know people are starting to do and just kind of be more informed kind of like just like people with makeup and what's in their makeup, what's their skincare, what are they eating? How much water are they drinking all of these things, and birth control and medicine is one of those areas where a lot of people are starting to kind of look at more and kind of me cycling back to the original point was, I don't understand why there's nothing that can be done that just to help regulate periods, if they wanted to be regulated without all of the birth control without literally the birth control part of it. I mean, I guess it's hormonal, so you kind of need to do both, but I don't understand it. And like I said, I'd be fine with an irregular period forever. As long as I my doctors were doing everything they could to make sure my uterus and ovaries and fallopian tubes and all those great things that are gonna one day needed to make, ideally, my twin boys first, but like whatever comes in store, I'm willing to have be healthy, happy babies. And other than that, like, I wouldn't care about much else regarding my period, which is probably a little simple minded. But that's my priority.

Angela 32:10

contraception is just such a weird thing and relation to your period, because it's offer, it's offered for so many things. At the same time. It gives you like so many of those different side effects. Frankly, I haven't figured out why in the history of contraception, we haven't been able to combat some of those, like, for example, it can give people like a lot of fluctuations with their hormones, which leads to like mood swings or potential depression. And Shouldn't we be beyond that now, like, it just it feels so it feels like so much progress has stalled with it.

Jae 32:45

I mean, when I definitely don't think it's a priority for the backers in the medical community, even though more than half the world deals with this. But my other point with this is that it's hormonal, it's all hormone, that kind of system is all intertwined so carefully that it's hard to pinpoint certain things to do certain things like they know, the two things in birth control are estrogen and progesterone. And I believe, and then some of those things are also taken to help conceive. And like that whole system is so connected to your hormones and to everything that it's hard to just like kind of pinpoint the button depressed when the backing and the desire of the people who have the purse strings aren't pulling them.

Angela 33:27

I think in addition to just dealing with those hormonal imbalances, birth control can be very weird because it also causes also may cause additional changes to your body that you're already sort of experiencing with the onset of your period and puberty. So I was always a little bit hesitant to take birth control because I know that it can lead to a potential danger with blood clots, and there's a clotting disorder in my family. But I was also very hesitant because I didn't want to gain weight or potentially have my chest get any bigger than it was. So I know like that's, I feel like that's just such a weird part of having your period to I don't know, Jay, how did you deal with the changes to your body? No, because I know for me, I was totally freaked out by the onset of my hips. I always had a very straight streamlined figure and I I liked that like I could basically wear any sort of pants and then six seventh grade, I'd really started to get curvier and it was so hard to get things to fit properly because I I don't skip leg day, but for whatever reason, it's really hard for me to get my legs to match my hips. So like sizing pants over them is always a little weird when I get something to like accurately fit my hips. It's really big in the leg. And so I know for me like the first time that I really became self conscious of this was in eighth grade Taekwondo when I needed to go up besides in my uniform, and suddenly it was really big and bad. He and I felt so weird. Not to mention it was also white. So that was three classes a month, where I was freaked out about something potentially showing through. Because I've never done tampons, it's always been pads like they were never presented as an option to me. And I don't know, I was always I was always warned against toxic toxic shock syndrome, which, when you're younger, I mean, even now, it still sounds like the most terrifying thing, but it's definitely enough to ward you off of them. When you're young.

Jae 35:31

I don't really have much Association like developing like I got my chest grew. I don't feel like my hips. I always felt more our glassy. So I always had the issue where I would be hiking my pants up because they would fall below my stomach all the time, I used to have the jeans that have like the last like buttons, you could like pull in tighter at the waist because I always have to hide my pants up because they wouldn't stay at my waist. But I think and I also like I've said before I have hypothyroidism or which is has to do with is a hormone thing brought on. So I've I didn't those changes were all kind of happening within like within a four to five year gap. So all of those kind of changes happening. I can't really pinpoint what was what and what happened. The one thing I will say which I think everyone needs to do, I finally got Angela to do to six years, go to a department store and get sized correctly. I don't care what size Victoria's Secret tells you you are you frankly shouldn't be shopping there anyway. They're anti LGBTQ, they're fat phobic and shaming and probably a bunch of other things too. Trust me, I've watched the fashion show like everyone else, but they cannot size correctly. I have friends who have been BNC cups who I know are not BNC cups, they size up. We have friends who've worked there, they size you up to make people feel better. And I don't think you should be shamed for having a smaller chest. And there are ways to get push up bras that are in a cup. But when you're someone who actually has a chest and you're trying to listen to Victoria's Secret size you it just doesn't work I would never get sighs there I was never sighs there because as I'm going to speak for Angela for a minute, when I had her good sized correctly, the bra was not as cute as she would have wanted it. But her finger when she put clothes on looked better than some of the other top she's worn when her brows were not the right size. Oh

Angela 37:17

my god, I looked so different. I looked so much better, I can accurately say that I looked so much better. But frankly, I trusted Victoria's Secret for so long, because I was sized outside at other department stores that we trust more. And it always lined up with Victoria's Secret sizing,

Jae 37:35

they might size you correctly at Victoria's Secret. But when they show you the bras of that size, they're not the correct size.

Angela 37:42

Frankly, in college, it just feels so cute speculation. I

Jae 37:46

don't know, my thing is like Victoria's Secret good size, you had a 34 C, but when you take one of their bras of the 34 seat and actually measure it against the 34 seat, oh, here's something else that I think I thought was common knowledge to figure out your bra size because I feel like it's a mystified mystic thing that people and sometimes it is a little bit off when you're in between sizes, and you can kind of go up and down a cup. Yeah, I'm doing this visually as if anyone else can see me when you go underneath your breast poll, a tape measure kind of taught around the bottom of it, and that is your band size, and then give or take, of course, then you measure across the widest part of your back and your nipples. And that is typically a larger number. So let's say your band is a 32. And then when you measure around the widest part of you it is a 36 that is a four inch difference. And then the letters correspond to them. So if it was a 32 band and then a 33 on the wider part that would be a 32 a and then two and a 34 and a 3232 b etc, etc, etc go with. And the reason sometimes people will say Oh, you're a 34 B or a 32 C is because when you do that in proportion, they're similar. So sometimes when you're getting like a strapless bra, you're gonna want to go down a band size and up a cup size. So you got the correct support to support your ribs and your back when you're wearing a strapless thing because of gravity. And as I'm speaking of someone who has a chest had a larger chest, but for the most of this part had a larger chest than most of my friends. It's not fun to not shop at Victoria's Secret. It's not fun to explain why you can't get the bra. It's why you can't wear certain clothes. why certain styles that work on you and for everyone wear what you want, where it makes you feel good. I'm not telling you you can't wear things, but I personally know and I've personally convinced Angela out when we wear things that are higher neck, you get a uniboob and it's not cute. It's not the most flattering for our body. And if that's what made Angela feel confident I would tell her to wear it but I also know that when Angela listens to me and wears the tops, I tell her to where she carries herself better because it's more balanced. Okay, I

Angela 39:51

do honestly have to say that was one of like the hardest points at our friendship when I had to give up some of those tops because I really do like them. Love the style of it. I just don't I didn't make you give them proportions for it to make it look as good as it does. No, I know, I gave them up for myself. But just acknowledging that they aren't, for me has been really hard within the realm of the time of our friendship. Like, I know, when I when I shop, I still gravitate towards them. I'm like, ooh, so cute. Like, oh, this isn't for me, though. And then I think about all the different ways I'm like, Oh, well, maybe it could be for me. But we just, we just

Jae 40:32

don't animal for whatever she wants to wear, or does not want to wear for that fact. And because she has a larger test, it doesn't mean she can't wear anything. The only thing is, when you look at a piece, you're typically basing it off the way it looks on someone on Instagram, a celebrity, a website, someone a model wearing it. And when that model is a member of the itty bitty titty committee, it's going to look different, it just will. And if you like the way it looks on someone with your chest, if you like the top, regardless of it, fine. For me, the mindset was wearing this top, I will never look like this. And for me, it was always a reminder, I will not look like this. So rather, I'm going to wear a top that looks like x cut, because that's gonna want to look more realistic to how it will look on me. And it's just gonna flatter what I have. Because another thing This isn't like breast boob episode. But another thing is when you wear something on your chest, and it fits better, it can correctly and aesthetically minimize or maximize your chest when it's the correct fit. So to have more options like to wear those higher cut tops with a larger chest, you really need the foundational garments to be correct here, here.

Angela 41:48

And speaking of the correct fit for things, how do you size a tampon?

Jae 41:52

I thought it was just about like, how much was flowing? I thought that's what the sizes were like regular like just like pads like Maxi mini like it's about how much like absorption it has to do now.

Angela 42:04

Right? But like how? Well no, yeah, that's correct. But how do you? I don't know, how do you adjust for that? So basically, what led to this line of questioning. So I've never used a tampon. And secondly, I was googling, trying to figure it out. And I came to the FDA guidelines on tampons, and they explicitly warn against using one that has a higher absorption rate than you need. But how do you accurately figure that out?

Jae 42:32

I think it'd be similar to a pad I don't know, when I was having my big issue. And I went to the doctor for it. It was about I think, don't quote me on this Angela, please factor because I think it's about method of absorption should need to be should be medium should be like full ish, about every two to four hours can be a little bit more can be a little bit less, or it's like between like four to six hours. It's like it should be be a certain amount absorbed. And you can change it more or less. But like you shouldn't need to change it prior to two hours. Two to four hours. I think so I think it's a going off of that. Right?

Angela 43:05

Yeah, I think general medical recommendation is that if you're filling one up per hour, you should talk to a

Jae 43:13

doctor. I would assume it's Same for tampons, like if your regular use regular and if you're heavier, use heavier. And I think it also depends on what day of your period you are like I know, for me from day one and a half to day three typically is heavier. So I would up it or change it more frequently. I think it also probably depends on like, I mean, I don't know this, but like how many like key goals you do and post pregnancy? Maybe we probably are for people who need more absorption and larger ones. Not directly after but like like a head gets pushed out of there. So

Angela 43:44

I'm assuming there's a little more space. Oh, terrifying, completely terrifying. Now, I think it's just one of those things. That sounds so simple, but it really isn't because just like oh, find your correct absorption rate. But then your period isn't always regular. Sometimes it lasts 10 days. Sometimes it's three days. Sometimes it's really heavy two days. Sometimes it's really heavy all 10 days, you don't really know I was trying to figure this out as part of a greater question of how much do women spend on personal hygiene products throughout their lifetime? Who much so Jake, would you like to take a guess? Let's

Jae 44:21

say an average box of tampons is $4 and it comes I'm going to get really mathy here guys. Sorry. Okay, typical box of tampon. Well, I can just go with mine.

Angela 44:32

I bought my time. I have I have numbers already. And it's about so I can compare your drivers a box,

Jae 44:38

a box and I'm on birth control two my periods are relatively regular five days, three to two to three times a day. So let's say 12 to every three boxes is three boxes is three months or 1224. I'm two grand ish give or take. I got 1728 And then I was like, I'm just gonna add it a little bit for given

Angela 45:03

that that is considered just about the average. So it's about 18 $100 that they estimate a woman. Yeah. So the national average for what a woman spends on in her lifetime on personal hygiene products is just about 18 $100


1700 80 something dollars, but I think this is definitely on the low end. Because when I started thinking about it, like there are a lot of other factors to consider besides just your tampons, you can't use a tampon overnight so you have to buy some pads or liners there's the cost of ruined underwear or clothes whole story if you're me that needs to be thought about clothing. pain relief, Tylenol, my it all an investment in heating pie used metal, does it do something? So it's supposed to be like this great period, symptom cocktail. It has acetaminophen, caffeine, and and something else. That's just supposed to be a better combination for you. I think I've only used it a couple times, because I'm very caffeine sensitive. And sometimes it's too much for me. But I hear for some people, it works great. And then you also have to think about what types of products you're using? Like, are you using one of the regular brand names? Are you going for a generic? Are you going for an all natural or organic brand? And then also within the last few years, we've had the rise of the menstrual cup and period underwear and other things like that? So I believe the new estimated average is about $8,000.

Jae 46:45

Well, yeah, because the number I gave you was just on tampon usage over life.

Angela 46:50

Right? That's how most of our opponents are most of the people who like don't see period poverty as a thing. That's the number they use. They're like 17 $100. That's nothing in your lifetime, then give it to me. Right? Well, the good thing is some states are actually doing that California, New York, New Hampshire, Delaware, I believe, and Illinois have passed laws to make personal hygiene products available in public restrooms in their state for free.

Jae 47:21

I mean, I think that's a good step. But I also think like the quality of the products they're putting in there

Angela 47:26


Jae 47:27

It's I mean, I'm not going to disregard that. It's a step.

Angela 47:30

No, I think I think it's a good step. But no, just to go to your, to your point on the quality of the products. I think that that's just something that we need to think about all together in terms of what we're putting out there for women. Because even the best all natural brands, independent studies have shown that they still hold a certain level of toxins or pesticides in them and pads and tampons and other hygiene products while they are regulated by the FDA, because they are technically considered medical devices, they don't actually do to disclose everything that goes into them, which to me is highly suspect.

Jae 48:08

Also, I'm not forgiving men more credit than is due such as like when men are willing to like take their own children to the park that doesn't deserve a gold star. But something that I think can be normalized and it is good for men to do whether it is for friends for family, I've seen it on Tech Talk where when guys have like a bunch of like pads, tampons, things of their apartments, and I think it's just respectful to do and I don't think again, I don't think men should get credit for it. But for the fact that a lot of men don't those who do do get a few extra points because whether you need one or not, it's okay. I'm going to make a statement and this is not at all a comparison statement. It's just I think the statement the statement of can apply to a greater situations. I was listening to Molly bark on YouTube, she is a blind influencer, who's big on advocacy and education and she was having a talk with someone about how I'm only disabled in situations that are not accommodating to me like if I go to a restaurant and the menus in Braille or I can order off a tablet or something I'm not disabled because I'm able to access and have autonomy here on my own, not similar to that situation because ableism is a thing. Disability is a marginalized community that we don't look at enough it can come in any color, race, size, everything. But in terms of this situation, when non period covers have supplies for period hovers in their space, it makes it a space that is inclusive because even though they aren't with it, they don't do it if any person ever needed any of the supplies at this person's house, it makes it accessible and therefore not it D stigmatizes it and it makes it fraying and it makes it normalizes it completely.

Angela 49:47

I think the one thing that I would say about having tampons or pads ready is like make sure that you like clearly have them in such a way that it doesn't look like you're just like handing out some other girls. supplies that she randomly left in your apartment because oh my god, the look on your face. Okay has this. Okay? So the reason that I say this is because one time when I was dating someone, my hair tie snapped, and he's like, Oh, he's like, don't worry. He's like I have I have one. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. I assumed it was mine that I just left or like, maybe he was like being considerate and he just like had random hair ties or something because he didn't have long hair or anything like that, that looked like it needed to be tied back. He handed over a blonde hair colored hair tie to me like this very clearly isn't my hair in it. There was not hair in it. But it definitely looked like it had been stretched out a few times and us to like it wasn't new. So I was like, yeah, this is definitely like some past girls hair tie. Like, please don't just pull out like a crumpled tampon from like somewhere in your bathroom drawer. Leave them in the box. Make it make it look like a nice thing that you're providing. Not that some other girl has left there. Oh, yeah. Oh, see, I would totally think of that. Did

Jae 50:57

you use the hair tie? No, I

Angela 50:59

didn't. I said thank you. And then I threw it in the trash. Not that I didn't appreciate what he thought. But I don't think that you know, any of the girls after meeting would either appreciate that. No.

Jae 51:11

Yeah, you know, well, yeah, cuz I've either she know where the guys got a cute little one of those like acrylic boxes. So they have like their display out. Oh, or they have the ball? Or they just like say, oh, there's a box under the counter. Mm hmm. And

Angela 51:24

I would say invest in the acrylic box. Make it make it look good guys. Well, yeah. But

Jae 51:29

also, if you have the acrylic box on your counter, I would be more like how often is this getting used?

Angela 51:35

Oh, potentially,

Jae 51:36

because tampons don't expire. To my knowledge. I like that box might be used, because it's like the box might not be full. But it's also like, you don't know how much it's used versus if the acrylics not full every single time. It's it's more of a hit. But oh my god, that hair tie story is disgusting. Right? You

Angela 51:53


Jae 51:53


Angela 51:54

know, this is also the same guy that like I accidentally left my toothbrush one time. And this this wasn't like be marking my territory or anything. But he totally freaked out and thought that my toothbrush was like a sign that I was like moving in and infringing on his territory. And he just tossed it into a random drawer. And so I'm like, how many things do like the same drawer that he pulled my hair dye out of something like is this just like your designated drawer? Like if I open this? Am I going to see like other detritus left from girls past? I didn't because it honestly freaked me out a little bit to think about it that way.

Jae 52:27

But yeah, that's so deep. Like, oh, here's I think we can get into like dating and what it means and how all of these stupid things like Oh, she left her toothbrush on the right side of the thing because she was on the right side of the sink. It means this or she left it here as a test like or they forgot their toothbrush and who didn't frankly, didn't want to leave it there anyway. And it's always Yeah, it's always dating is stupid dating and people people suck at connecting humans. This isn't a male, female non binary like humans, we suck at connecting. And we take everything far too personally. Mm hmm. This isn't this is for another episode. Oh, totally. But yeah, it's not that deep. You weren't trying to leave a toothbrush there. And knowing how you are about brushing your teeth. Exactly. You would buy a second one to leave there. You wouldn't leave your one toothbrush at someone's house.

Angela 53:16

I know. And I mean, frankly, this was a second toothbrush that I bought, but I very clearly kept it in a travel case the whole time. Like this wasn't just like the second toothbrush that I bought to leave there. This is the second toothbrush that I bought to carry around with me weird segue, but I have toothbrushes everywhere. There's one in my house. There's one in my purse, there's one at work I keep like a Ziploc plastic bag in my desk with toothpaste and a toothbrush and a little thing of mouthwash like this. This is just who I am. I like to be able to brush my teeth. Yeah, he was far too into himself to assume he would do such a thing completely. Okay, so yeah, so back to tampons. I feel like it would have been a much bigger statement. If I randomly like left a box of pads in his bathroom that very much would have been like, I am very comfortable. I'm moving in here statement.

Jae 54:06

Yeah, not on the hair tie. But because that's odd, especially if it's stretched out. I mean, I'm sure men don't think of like the hair texture shutter. That's creepy. But like hypothetically, if a female who you are regularly or no longer leaves a full or most used box of tampons, and you end it happens that whoever is next can use them sustainably don't throw them away if they're fine. I think the hair typing is only weird because it was stretched out. Even if it was a blonde one I could be Oh, it's a friend or roommate across from a party. But the fact that it stretched out is the part that made it weird.

Angela 54:37

This may seem really weird guys, but we can tell how long hair ties have been in use. I feel like we should just do an episode one day on the different expenses that women incur his hair ties are definitely one of them.

Jae 54:50

I mean, there's like this YouTube video of a male and a female waking up to go to an event and shows the different costs that it takes each of them the time it takes them. I think hers was four to five times higher.

Angela 55:01

Mm hmm. so ridiculous.

Jae 55:03

I think it's partly it's a human choice not a male female choice. Because if a man wanted to get up and take as much time to put makeup on his face because it made him feel better, or are they, hmm, then they would incur the same cleanses typically attributed to females. So it's also what makes you feel good. And then how has society played into that? For me as a female, I like deciding what I wear. I like spending time on my hair and my makeup and getting presentable for situations. However, if I don't, it's also a choice sometimes. So I don't have to spend that.

Angela 55:33

But speaking of human issues, one of the things I'm a little bit curious about is did you ever do any sort of like health or sex ed classes in school?

Jae 55:43

I mean, like, we had a health class the one thing I remember about it was it scared me straight from doing ecstasy and the day we were supposed to put condoms on a banana the bananas were all too soft. So that didn't really go well.

Angela 55:59

Oh, God.

Jae 56:00

Okay, is with health class. No, but the bananas were banana bread ready? Oh,

Angela 56:04

yeah. That that there? Yeah, no, I knocked some for thought

Jae 56:08

that has nothing to do with that has nothing to do with like the likeness to anything. Just. You can. You can't on

Angela 56:14

Mm hmm.

Oh my gosh,

Jae 56:16

that's my experience with health class.

Oh, my don't do drugs. And we didn't learn correctly about condoms. Remember, they have expiration dates.

Angela 56:24

Yes. Very important. Don't heat them up. Don't keep them in your wallet.

Jae 56:28

Keep them up like in the microwave. Like,

Angela 56:30

no like don't handle like don't leave them in a place where they can get overheated. I guess like don't don't leave your box like in the sun Like on your window. Yeah, near heater. Oh, and your glove car glove compartment? Yeah, because you're hot. Yeah. Oh my god, I had a laptop completely overheat and die because I left it in the car in college in the trunk. Yeah, that was super awkward. I think what was that senior year. So that was the year we moved in, like two or three weeks before school started and on. So like, move in day like driving down. I was like, What like, seven, eight hours and then sat in the car, I think for two days because I didn't really need it. But when I went to get it out, it was fried. Quite literally interesting. I think I did two sections of health in school. One was in fifth grade. It was two weeks, we had to sign parent consent forms. And it was all very technical. We had these like manuals, little pamphlets from like the 70s. It looks like that talked about did you have to watch that movie and all the greats in all the great sitcoms, the black and white movie? I don't remember what it's called? No, I don't think so the baby making videos or all those things. So I think I really repressed a lot of this actually, because I remember every time it got to a particularly graphic paragraph, the teacher called on me because I was considered a mature student who could handle it. What was the paragraph outwardly? I'm sure I looked like I could handle it. but inwardly I was just like, everyone is gonna associate this with me forever. And I'm going to get laughed out and pointed out on the playground.

Jae 58:10

What was the paragraph? Oh, now we need to know what was the paragraph? Oh, gosh, it's

Angela 58:13

like things related to fallopian tubes and oscillation, and uterine lining, shedding all that great stuff, which is nothing to be embarrassed about. But when you're 11 little weird.

Jae 58:27

I'm a big fan of using correct terms from a young age with children. But I also don't think it's like bad to use nicknames. Because I think to this day using names, but I do think anatomically, should be taught first and then nicknames should be next, not in avoidance of teaching the correct terms.

Angela 58:44

Mm hmm. No, I agree. I think I don't necessarily think that our fifth grade education there was very helpful because it was very anatomical and informative. But at the same time, I don't think that fifth graders are really ready to have like the deep conversations that go with it in a public forum with their peers that

Jae 59:02

way. I think it's hard balancing what school should teach what home should teach. But I think people have different opinions. And I think I don't think fifth grade is too late. I think fifth grade, frankly, is a little late to start the initial conversation. I know there have been various ways I've listened to parents and how they do it. One of the ways that I thought interesting, I don't see this for me, but like it worked for this family was the parent would shower with the child of the opposite gender until their child started asking questions. And that was the signal of like seeing the naked parts of when they were out. Okay, like my child is ready to start this conversation. It is interesting, and I think all parents have right to decide what is right. I know there are a ton of books for young kids and I think that know what's right for your child at what level they are. But I also think unfortunately, because there are so many different ways to look at it school systems need some sort of thing so they might have been a little advanced. However, for someone if that was the only source of education or access they had to the top And might have been necessary at that young age. I know people who supposedly I don't know, factually who were having sex in sixth grade, though.

Angela 1:00:07

Oh, I mean, I think no matter when you start the conversation, it's just it's very important to make sure that everyone feels comfortable with it and making sure that you're providing those resources and leaving the door open for it to continue. Oh, in my school, we touched on it in fifth grade for two weeks, that conversation wasn't open again, until I was in high school. I so I went to a Catholic High School Sex Ed was part of a part of our freshman religion class. And I was really lucky because I actually had one of the more liberal teachers assigned to me. So that conversation was a lot lengthier than other classes. I think we spent almost a month on it. And he opened up the conversation to talk about the social implications and cultural implications associated with what was going on with your body again, we did we talked about gay, transgender, how my school did, I don't think we were supposed to I not that it was banned in the curriculum, but I don't think it was covered. I think our teacher took it upon himself to expand that because when I talked to other people in different religion classes, they had far moved on from the topic. And we're back on to preparing for I think, I think the Lenten season, because I think we did this in spring. So yeah, it went on a lot more. But I think it was probably the more helpful of the two conversations because it wasn't just about like, what was in our books and the curriculum, but it was about what was going to what we would encounter in real life.

Jae 1:01:31

I think that's good. And I think health class does not just mean he really does just not mean development. And when it comes to sexual health and hygiene, there's a lot of people who don't follow the who don't have the style heteronormative relationship and certain things you learn about safety and protection only pertain to one type of sex. And I don't think that is fair. It's I think it's the same thing. It's like, Well, I'm not gay. Why am I worrying about gay sex? It's like well, all of the kids in your class who aren't having straight sex have only learned about that their entire lives through the traditional education system. Very true. Hey, good day

Angela 1:02:07

teach learn because they deserve to be healthy too. Exactly. And I think even if you're not sexually active yet, like you might need this information going in to see your doctor like I know a lot a lot of vagina owners when they go in to see the gynecologist they're not prepared for what's going to happen in that room. Like I know the first time I went to see the guy cold Yeah, very cold. Very cold. Always

Jae 1:02:32

right. have new ones that are plastic and West cold from other podcasts I've been listening to but they're not like the widespread norm yet.

Angela 1:02:39

Oh, okay, so we're talking about speculums if you're not familiar with what that is. Yeah, it's this device that is inserted into the vagina and then the only word I have for it is it cranks you open our jack Yeah, it that's what it feels like. It's like jacking up your car. That's what it sounds like to like, it's so weird. Like the first time I went in and I heard it I was like, Okay, I can't think of the exact word for it but there's that type of wrench or ratchet wrench and it just makes such a similar sound. I was like Dear God, I'm I'm in a garage This is so weird. But yeah, I wasn't prepared for what was gonna happen in that room. I went in because I potentially had a UTI but I wasn't sexually active yet. It was so it was a very weird experience and I don't I did my doctor I

Jae 1:03:31

made use is not a real fix.

Angela 1:03:33

It's not as much as we'd like to believe it is and let's not see your doctor if you think you have a UTI. I came out I came out of that appointment like completely freaked out because like Here you are, you have to like undress from the waist down someone's jacked you up and like poking around down there. And it's it's weird and I've actually sent out appointments where they actually didn't use a speculum when I went in for my last or not my last HPV screening but the one before that they didn't use it she's like oh no she's like we don't we don't do that for that anymore so she just like stuck it right in sounds speculum very weird but yeah, I just I think that that's another area where we should properly educate our vagina holders before they go into the

Jae 1:04:15

doctor that way my opinion I also think we should we all should be we should all be educated on what vagina owners have to go through we should also be aware of what non vagina and penis owners have to go through I know like it's like one day I do like if you have children if you have sons I think it's or if you get married to a man if you have men in your life it's important to know what they should check for and what they need to be doing as well because yes airplane put your mask on before anyone else's but if you have your mask on help someone

Angela 1:04:45

here here no I think help all around

Jae 1:04:49

is Katherine Heigl to prostate exams and Grey's Anatomy. Like that's my only sense of like, mental health education is like Katherine Heigl like sticking her fingers up someone's butt.

Angela 1:04:58

Oh Lord,

Jae 1:04:59

and I don't even know He's looking for I should have asked for the hands go.

Angela 1:05:03

I don't mean either actually I really don't know. And then on Degrassi didn't spinner have testicular cancer

Jae 1:05:10

it's a prostate exam like he did

Angela 1:05:13

yeah, so that his symptoms that's that's all I know for testicular cancer if those are even correct I I didn't look into it. I will look into it though for the shownotes

Jae 1:05:21

but men check yourselves learn how to check yourselves women ideally do it too and everyone, all humans educate yourself stay safe.

Angela 1:05:28

And on that note, thank you for listening to this episode of In Omnia Paratus grab your coffee bowl and don't forget to rate download and subscribe on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts as always where you lead will follow. So head on over to @inomniapod on Instagram and let us know what you want to hear about in the comments. Bye

Jae 1:05:50