Hopefully, you also read that to the tune of Oprah’s Favorite Things…Welcome to the penultimate episode, the super-ultimate, episode of Season 1 of In Omnia Paratus! This is all about exploring our favorite topics and moments from the season, from patient advocacy and the Pink Tax, to romantic comedies and brunch. We’ve had so much fun this season sharing our opinions, research, and special guest interviews with everyone, and we hope you’ve had just as much fun!
As Colin and Finn would say we’ve reached our penultimate, super-ultimate episode! We’ve almost wrapped up the season so we wanted to take a look back, like all good sitcoms have taught us, at the past year
We decided to reflect on our *favorite* episodes, as the ones that have stuck out in our memories based on topic, recording, research, guest experience
Jae & Angela’s favorite episodes are:
Jae Enrolls in the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe)
So You Want to Write a Rom-Com? Ft. Amanda
(Im)Patient Practice: Advocating For Better Medical Care
Brunch With Extra Bitters
Date-A-Thon 2020 (Jae & the Seven Suitors)
Hygiene Products Should Be Free. Period.
Culture & Country: The Transracial Adoptee Experience
Sustainable You: The Power of Intersectionality in Environmentalism
Why Aren’t We Relatable
I pledge myself to the pod loyal always be appear to start a d at the end and an O sitting in between. Welcome back to In Omnia paratus I'm Jae
like the letter
and I'm Angela also known as AVO
Are you sick?
can those two things not be different?
I mean they can be but this generally is just kind of what I sound like when I wake up, particularly if I haven't been sleeping. Well,
I'm not the first one to make this comment to you then.
No, this is just what exhausted Angela sounds like.
It's not a great alliteration. No, don't got one.
I'll think of one later.
Which really have to do with the situation. It's just a word that came to mind.
I'm having my very own Jackson Jordan almonds moment this morning. Well, I don't
know why. Because we started recording 13 minutes past time, we should start recording good. 13 minutes to do burpees flush face water ice bucket challenge.
The struggle is real this morning. Coffee, coffee, coffee. It has been a week I may break out your coffee coffee coffee cup, though in a moment. Well, not in a moment after this recordings done, which will honestly feel like a moment because it's going to fly by in my exhausted state.
So in the words of Finn, Paul, and whoever this is our penultimate, I mean, you took my joke, but I'm waiting for the traffic. As I say, this is our penultimate, which does not mean super ultimate, it means second to last. So this is our second to last episode of season one.
We made it did you think we were going to make it
there was no choice but to make it because I wanted to do one a week What other option was there?
Well, I mean, I know that's the goal. But honestly, somewhere around the summer, I kind of wondered was like Will we call it will we take a break at some point and say like, Hey, this week we're not having a new episode. We'll come back in like next week,
two weeks and this is where us being partners you should have known I would have just recorded solos to finish the year
Oh no, I figured you would have but I mean I did wonder was like if something in life was gonna take us out of it. We've had a year
yeah, but that's not what this episode is about. This like all classic TV shows before streaming was the thing have their annual wrap ups so we're doing our top 10 favorite episodes in no particular order. I also would like to make one disclaimer. I don't know what Angela's will say she doesn't know what mine is. If we do mention some with guests, we love and appreciate every single one of our guests who we had on the season and we're very grateful you were here on this first season journey with us many of you will probably be for season two over being honest. But if I do not name a particular person I still love and care about you all very much. I just got to pick out five out of 53 episodes as we have now because this is the 54th and then after this we're recording the 55th which will conclude our one year of podcasting every week from Monday December 1 through Monday I believe November 30
We have a lot to choose from
we've two calendars
it's November 29. And there we go.
I was close but yeah, even though we did one double episode I'm still confused why we have 54 episodes because when I look it up there are others 52 Monday's in the in the year 2021 Oh I guess it's because we know but even though we didn't start it at the beginning in January oh maybe it's because the summer we started had an extra Monday maybe because it was still a year and clock time
see that's what I thought to because essentially we're taking it almost to the day because I believe our first episode was released on December 1 First Yeah,
I'm really tired
very sorry. Okay, this list five episodes do we want to do them chronologically? I said minor no particular order I can't speak for Angela maybe she does have favorites and favorite humans of our friend group. And guess who knows?
I know honestly same. A couple of mine do have some guests in there. I'm not trying to say that I necessarily put any of you above others but it was really fun speaking with you and it just kind of stuck in my mind. But again, all of our guests come back because it's been great for everyone by everyone she means herself. Me and my multiple personalities
she doesn't mean seriously insert PC disclaimer here about mental health and those who are neurodiverse anyway, I don't know I guess I'll just go off my list I think my first one which is a kind of more of a fluff one is I really liked the first Marvel episode we did based on our analytics business a statistics what are the sales analytics we didn't do very well on that one but I personally had a lot of fun with it as it was something I wouldn't have tried and during this I hate using this word but during the season of podcasting I was really like let's do things new let's try things I haven't tried before we are only this season get to have Angela try to anything's which I guess will be a focus of season two. But that first Marvel episode I was like I know Never would have watched a Marvel movie because I guess I thought I was like past the window of enjoying them and I was like, oh well like all of my friends and my family have their Marvel buddies who they watch it with so like if I wanted to they would take me but they already have these like long standing relationships since before the Marvel Universe bought by Disney. So like I was like, oh, and then once I was bought by Disney, everyone like gave so much shit because Disney owns it now so I was like, Oh, well it's not good anymore. And then I was surprised and now I've seen the three release three releases since I started watching and last night we got the Phase Five announcement so this so question, Thor Thunder Down Under is not the one without Natalie Portman. She Hulk is a different movie. Correct? Okay,
but she's gonna be both what is she not? I haven't looked yet I was I don't know. I was I was too many in the fields from the Taylor Swift video last night. I just put everything down and then I picked up you and watch Joe apparently now Quinn Goldberg run around pretending plotting murders. No, that is how tired I've been
then who told me the ending Madison? I don't know. Oh, no. Flora told me. I'm like someone told me the ending of it. Okay. Oh, shit.
Oh, wow. Don't tell me. I'm only on Episode Five. I honestly, I was very surprised by how you took to the Marvel episode and your Marvel challenge. I think I expected you to like it. But I expected it more from the perspective of something that you would love to hate. I honestly I do like to do that I thought you were going to gravitate towards all the characters that people really didn't like that you were gonna zero in on the moments that were a little bit more obscure and kind of like fill in your opinions and then find more reasons to not like it, but then enjoy not liking it so much that you got really into it interesting, which I mean, in a way is like you You haven't really done that. But it's like you do still have very strong opinions about what's going on in the Marvel Universe. But I can also see you just getting really excited when like the heroes have their moment when someone new is introduced
the Eternals now are at Disneyland.
Oh, that's so cool.
Well, at least Icarus. And seriously, I saw at Disney oh and kingdom King King man King King. Do you like Enkidu? King do okay, I saw them at Disneyland. That's really cool.
Why are they letting a curse walk around there?
I don't know. But last night, I watched the Xiangxi movie with my family. And then I showed my family the picture of Xiangxi at Disneyland where we thought he was the cast mate.
Because the most confusing thing ever, like seriously, they couldn't have given him a better costume.
They couldn't have just given him his superhero costume. They had a guy in they had Shang Qi in his valet jacket and just some asian guys standing as Black Panther and the Dermalogica. Were doing this whole and big performance. He just kind of standing there and it's like, are you because you look enough but like you're not doing anything. So you can just stood there and like wave to people. And then people start noticing in certain ways mom like, Oh, you are a character but you're not. Is it like a day like this is a werewolf thing? Do you want to come out and like your 10 rings at night? Like what's happening?
Yeah, no, I think they they definitely could have done better there. And also, I don't know if you saw this. He had a moment with our friend. She waved and he waved back and he kind of mouse something at her. And she was like, oh my god,
I kind of did that with every character that she did.
Every character loved her. But I mean, they had their moment. They could have done better with his costume. Because frankly, when I first noticed him, I was like, Is this guy like a visitor who has a really good Disney bound going on? Or who snuck
into to the Avengers campus?
yes, I mean, I did start off I watched Captain Marvel was my first one recommended by Angela going back. I think it was good. But I think it was very it didn't help me at all when I started with the traditional Iron Man, Captain America Avenger movies, because it was kind of its own thing. Exiting phase three. Right?
Well, I mean, honestly was like, I know you really liked this episode. I really don't like this episode, because
it started with Captain Marvel, because totally start with I know. But
the reason that I picked the movies out for you that I did is because they had some very significant points outside of the Marvel Universe, or, or the I should say, the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And they were very door opening or other parts of the series in terms of breaking down boundaries and working on new terms of exclude new terms of inclusivity. And exclusivity is automatically where my mind goes exclusivity. So I wanted to talk about them a lot more in terms of like, their comic phase where like they were taking opportunities for writers, artists, role models for kids. So it Yeah, so it wasn't necessarily to talk so much about the films and get bring you in that way. But I was trying to show you more of the artistic elements of what was going on. So there was a there was a lot that I feel like we we had one of our moments where we saw two things that we both really liked. But we approached them from such different perspectives. We weren't able to merge them and I feel like we're still like We've gotten better about that, but we're still working on it a bit there.
I mean, now that Iron Man's gone I think the franchise will be a lot more inclusive just all around.
Perhaps Robert Downey Jr. is just such a polarizing man. He is
an annoying man. Apparently he is very nice though. If
you meet him on the street, we have a friend who met him in a bar. He was there watching his son's band play.
Was she of age where he could be hitting on her.
She said she says no, well, she Yes, she was of age but she says no, he was not hitting on her. He was just proud dad her
I guess like another not disclaimer, but when I'm saying my favorite episodes, it's not necessarily like, Oh, I haven't gone back and listen to all of the ones I edited. They kind of go into the universe, but like it's like the whole thing of like, what led to necessarily the episode coming about a boot if we're in kid.
And they actually do say a boot? Yes. One of the things I figured out this year. Oh my god.
This year, you watched a grassy, which I'm still surprised we have no episodes on.
But season two. I mean, honestly, I think sometimes I forget that Degrassi is filmed in Canada, and sometimes I think it's just a impression of Canada. Cheese.
I know. Okay, if your first fifth pick whatever way you want to
go. Okay, my fifth pick is going to be so you want to write a rom com with our guests, Amanda? So what do we do if we have the same ones on our list? We're gonna have to throw in some bonus ones for this episode, then God
that was also on my list. That was the episode where I almost cried laughing multiple points during the interview, slash collaboration because I don't really feel like we enter interviewed as like had a conversation. I think it was good that we had Amanda and Laura on as like pre interviewing. Because when we did do some actual interviewing, it was helpful to already have had third or fourth in the dynamic with us.
No, I agree. And I think I've I and I've actually been speaking with some people that I know who are a little bit more in the journalism field, and they actually recommend that they're like, toss out a ton of those sample questions. So that way, everyone feels more comfortable because I feel like sometimes where we almost found ourselves in circular situations where we didn't know what to say they were like, that's gonna help everyone just feel more comfortable if they can already prep. So that's gonna that's gonna be a new development for us in season two. I loved speaking with Amanda just because it's already hard enough to speak with Amanda because she's so busy, but then we got her for a dedicated block of time. I think we spoke with her for almost three hours.
I don't think it was that long. Really. I mean, I don't think I think it was like two probably, but like a almost full two.
No, and it's just it's so fun to see how her mind works. And I feel like in the balance of things where you're a little bit more up and I'm a little bit more down she like has that energy that kind of brings us all up together that we're all on the same plane.
Amanda is like the perfect combination of like, a really good active listener and a really good height girl. Like if you're like going on a date you're like not sure how you look like you need anything like she will like hype you up to like,
feel like you're drunk or high kind of Amanda's presence is just like
intoxicating, her presence is a present.
No, but that was one of my favorite episodes because of course, like we got to talk about rom coms who doesn't love to talk about a ROM a good rom com even
query nada since we dedicated a month, and then a two hour dedicated YouTube video to the kissing booth trilogy.
They will forever live in our hearts.
Oh, I don't remember their ship name is Noel for sure. We'll go with that sounds right. Okay. So I guess my next one, I'm trying to like switch between like good, like fun and real of them. The next one that I have on my list is our inpatient practice is I think it's what it was called, yes, the medical episode came about when we were trying to just not rebrand but trying to diversify our topics and talk about things that really matter to us and what we're currently going on and what we felt needed to be spread into the world more. So I've always known Angela, for better or worse, had a lot of experience hospitals and doctor's visits and stuff. So I felt like it was a good episode, not only where she could like shine, and take the reigns and like had really good accurate information, but also one where we could assist other young people going through that and we do Complan and we do plan on continuing that to Season Two I had turning 26 means he was health insurance. So on my journey to that I had multiple medical visits where I asked some very specific questions and got some answers from doctors, which we'll be sharing next season because I think they're questions that when you go on WebMD or you just look on the internet, there are many answers and that my doctors only give the right answers but I believe my medical team rather than saying this is this open door on how to ask the correct follow up questions. If you have X concern, not like oh, if this happens like this means you're dying. But if this is happening, and then these things aren't happening, you're probably not having this But if you want to go further, here's what you would ask.
No, I agree, I think that just knowing how to advocate for yourself in any type of medical situation is one of the most important things that any person can do. It's a paramount skill to have. And frankly, it's not something that we talk about a lot, as a society we are talking about, we talk about it a ton. But just as a society, I feel like there's just the general consensus that like, Oh, you're sick work through it, or like, Oh, you're not feeling so great, like kind of suck it up. Like people are only really going to the doctor when they feel that they have time and everything else in their life has kind of been set, whether that's professionally, socially with their family, and their health is taking a backseat. And you just can't do that. Because by the time you actually go to the doctor, you might have had something small that has turned into something larger, go to the doctor, preventative care is always easier than treatment. And honestly, like Jay said, if you have a good medical team, it's it's really fun to go to the doctor, I love speaking with all of my doctors, like I went to the doctor earlier this week, and my mom actually came with me because she had to go to the pharmacy. And she ended up waiting an hour because I was just in there catching up with my doctor, like socially,
hopefully the feeling is mutual.
Oh, it was She actually gave me her email. And let me know because I am actually going to be switching providers. So she's no longer going to be my doctor. So she gave me her email so that we could keep in touch. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. So I'm actually I'm going to help her plan a trip to Denver. Cool. Yeah, I know, it sounds pretty weird. Like, oh, you're friends with your doctor. But honestly, you just need to find someone in your life who you can keep up that good rapport with. So that way you feel comfortable talking about the things that you wouldn't necessarily want to talk about with anyone other than yourself, or maybe like your closest loved ones.
I mean, that's one perspective.
I mean, yeah, I definitely treating it more from like that. I have a weird problem with my body perspective, not like you're going to them for relationship advice. But I feel like a lot of people get really uncomfortable talking about things that are going wrong or something or something strange that has happened, like maybe some kind of one off or something that's happening a little bit more frequently, that they then really tried to downplay. I know someone recently who she downplayed something like through the entirety of her pregnancy, that was actually life threatening, just because she felt uncomfortable. And like it was a reflection of her own person and work style, rather than a symptom of something that was actually going wrong in her body.
And even if it was caused by workstyle, mental health, anxiety, pregnancy, it doesn't mean you don't deserve the treatment because it happened because you and if you if the pregnancy situation the baby deserve, the best care can get
exactly like I will say, like the number one thing that medical shows get right, not necessarily in their treatment plans, but just in their perspective of We Are Your doctors, we don't care what you did, we just need to know what happens. So we can help you it was like no one is there to judge you. And frankly, if someone is there to judge, you go find a new doctor. And if you don't know how to do that, you can listen to impatient practice. And as we talk about finding a new provider number for brunch with extra bitters. So this is our brunch episode where we initially intended just to speak about our love of brunch, the best things that we like about it foods places, bottom lists versus regular drinks for the table, everything like that. And it quickly evolved. I'm not going to say that I loved the fact that we spent most of this episode arguing but I do think it was probably the first episode where we got the realist in terms of our general dynamic because it's not like we always argue but we we do have like some spirited conversation sometimes where we're very heavily like on one side versus the other. Yeah, I feel like
going back to our assumptions episode of people's a year so similar you're so this and there are certain things where Angela and I are completely the same person could answer for one other could use a bullet some of the points were different on we're very, very different on if you hear that episode, you'll hear some of the biggest trigger points for both of us in terms of planning punctuality and how we mal adaptively interpret such actions on behalf of not only the other one, but other people involved when creating these plans, particularly brunches and then we frequently do so it comes up a lot with that trying to get spirited
essentially, I think in the brunch episode, it was the perfect combination of fact and fiction. Like I did some research there. I got into the origins of brunch like and I thought that was pretty cool, like the way that it's finding out how its original intention has then spiraled into this huge industry all the way from the times of like kings hunts, and the first cross country travel to now just a regular Saturday occurrence. So that was really fun. And then it we got to showcase like a little bit more of our personal dynamic. And then I also thought I also really liked it because I feel like we incorporated kind of like a live aspect to it when we were then reaching out to all of our friends and like doing updates in real time a little different.
We got a lot of good feedback on that we did, particularly people like you and that not that I'm not delightful, as always, but I think you have a tendency
of people pleasing the Miss America syndrome.
Yeah, but the thing is, because you have such strong facials, and phrasing and tone, most people can tell when you're doing it. So yeah, I
agree. It's like, No, you don't.
So let's just like and I'm someone who like, I hate confrontation. I like confrontation. I hate like feeling like there's confrontation. So I'm just like, okay, that's not what you feel like say what you feel because I'm I'm not gonna do this. Yeah, like I see that are like 45 more minutes.
Yeah, I feel like one of the things that that didn't necessarily translate from all of our podcasting practice to now podcasting for real is that I feel like I Miss America more, because I'm like, Oh, you are not the only person hearing this. Whereas like, if it's you and me, I'm far more inclined to tell you like, I see what you're saying. But this is how I feel about it, but not generally, within varying degrees to I completely disagree with you. And I cannot go along with that. And again, you are leading me down a path I cannot follow. And oh, I see what you're saying. I've never thought of that before. Let's try it that way.
Yeah, I don't know. I think in our final episode, it's kind of the things we've learned not to spoil too much. I kind of take as an approach of like, when I know better, I do better. And I only know as much as I know, at the current moment of when we're recording something. And if something big happens, we disclaim it. If something needs a disclaimer in terms of a trigger warning, or this is our perspective, we understand that other perspectives, and you're welcome to have your own or we're willing to be educated on why we should change our perspective. And we will do so such I have no problem just stating what my opinion is because it is an opinion, and everyone has it. And we created this so I could have all my opinions be heard. And sometimes,
yes, and mainly just so I could look into a lot of obscure research on my
my next one, I guess I'll go with is my Datathon episode, which was in wrapped up our Valentine's month, I believe. And I did something insane when in California COVID cases were down with people going out. I went on seven dates in eight days, including a double and if you want to hear about the experience, go back to that episode. It was definitely interesting. Angela and I are both I don't know if you would consider yourself a late bloomer. I'm definitely a late bloomer, so kind of like experienced certain things. I mean, I don't feel like you are but I feel like a little bit.
I'm definitely on the leader side. I don't know if I would necessarily classify it as like completely late bloomer. I'd be like late bloomer and Jason Oh, are actually you know, what, what if I, if I knew the name of this, it would be so much better. What are those flowers that only bloom at night? Probably be one of those. Well, I feel
like for you, it's like you started young and then took a really big break. Yeah. And then like shit happens. And then so it's like you were on track to be quote unquote, normal, even though there's no normal and then have a heart stop. Yes. But yeah, I was a late bloomer going on dates, and why went on so many days in a row. And what I learned from it was really fun. And it was something I had already done months ago. So I had no problem talking about it. I feel I was respectful to the men involved
completely. No, you did a really good job, all of the innocence were protected. And I think that it, it really opens the door. Because I think even now, as progressive as society is, I think there's still a little bit of a stigma for going on multiple dates with people in one week is there is and I think that it's really helping to show it's like it's not something that you're doing in a malicious way or like you're trying to attend like soluti University. It's just how you get to know people. It's how you find your partner. Like if you only went out with one person at a time until you figured it out. How long do you think that would take?
I don't know, Angela, how's that going for you?
I have done um, honestly, it like it takes a while. Like, I think that
as you've arrived, it takes a while but you've arrived? Well,
no, I mean, I think it takes a while when you're only dating one person, particularly if both of you are heavily employed. And when I say heavily employed, it's like when you have a very demanding job, then you're not necessarily seeing that person quite often. So it's like in theory, if you saw one person once a week for One month, it might take that entire month for you to figure out, do I like you? Or do I not, in which case during that month, you could have met other people in quarantine. Granted, this is something a little bit different. But if you think about all the times that you go out, and one way to happy hour with your coworkers or friends, to the gym, to concert to the library, a coffee shop, restaurant, wherever granted, this might not necessarily happen for you or me, because safety, but if you are our friend, Brian, who's just out there doing vibe checks, you can meet a lot of people.
Well, I was gonna say you do all of those activities. And how many of those have spurred off dates for you? Oh, I'm
just I'm way too safety conscious. In turn. I'm way too safety conscious. Like if a man just generally approached me and asked me out, I like take his photo and be like, I'm reporting you to the police.
No, goodness, that episode was really fun. I mean, I could summarize, I can't really summarize it more without giving away the episode. But it was during COVID, we were safe in terms of the COVID precautions, excellent clarifications. In fact, take it as your next.
My next favorite episode would be hygiene products should be free period. Yeah, you really like that? I do. I talk about it all the time. And frankly, I do want to revisit this in season two, I think it's really important. We did not touch on a lot of the research that I did for it in terms of speaking about how this is like such an important issue within the United States globally, for women of all ages, whether you're nine years old to 59 years old, it's something that impacts every woman for like 30 years of her life. Any person who is assigned female at birth, yes, any person who was assigned female at but
actually going into other going into the more nuanced conversation, I've been hearing a lot of voices that a period is a consistent of two things. It's the hormonal shift, and then there's the shedding of the uterus. And because of the hormones that trans women take, they have a version of a period, they just don't actually shed. And so we're having this conversation about what a period is and stuff like there's a lot of I don't know, if there's a lot of discourse, I've seen a lot of discourse on my main form of content consumption, tick tock, but it's something that if we are to talk about more, we would do real research on because tick tock is not real research, but it does introduce you to a bunch of little bite sized things to go do further research, which is convenient. But yeah, that's something that I've been hearing a lot about because people are only having periods and I think trans women don't have periods because they don't shed but like the hormones do something similar to the hormones on a cycle because that's how it works.
I am definitely going to look into that more for season two because initially what sparked this for me honestly, I was just frustrated about how much different products were costing me and then the fact that these products aren't even necessarily body safe. So that incredibly frustrating all around because you have very few choices and you have to use them and I mean, here's the thing, honestly, it's like you don't even have to use them like what truly like made me start feeling comfortable about talking about this was like trying to find like my own radical personal solution and then seeing how others were starting their conversations on Tik Tok on morning talk shows different micro influencer platforms that I follow. It's like okay, it was like there are multiple ways to start to normalize these conversations. Are you trying to carry and just free bleed all the time? No,
not at all. Like radical Imago Do
you try to do I tried to create my own pads? Okay. Yeah, very interesting. I don't know if that would be like personally like a sustainable option for me. But like it's something that you can do just because it horrifies me that none of these products are actually FDA approved, but they all have medical. Oh, what's the word like when they give you like a pass? Yeah, they all have they all technically have like stamp of approval. They all have waivers because they are considered medically necessary devices that have all sorts of toxins and look up
have you seen Oh, I don't know any Ms. It's the girl who has the AUG. Brand on tick tock. She's a Harvard grad Asian Oh, she liked his very much in terms of like period disruption. She's shown her period blood her discharge she's very into like, let's demystify this, let's do it. But her company's subscription, they're biodegradable, plastic, free, all the good things.
Oh, okay. All right. I'm gonna look into her. I have so much research that we didn't touch on. I know, we ended up making it a little bit more personal here talking about our periods, first periods, things we enjoy, don't enjoy how we generally feel how we've tried to negotiate the terms of our periods around others and why that's something that we shouldn't be apologetic for. And I think that it's it's still a good opening for what needs to happen. And I think in season two, we can delve a little bit more into where things stand overall and what we as humans can do to help amplify The rights and securities of other humans who go through this
here here, so I only have one more episode because you took one fine. But the other episode I had listed enemy and I guess I'll wing it and come up with one more is our episode we did with Brandy who I met through our podcasting cohort, it was about inclusive sustainability. So a lot of the sustainable solution and sustainability shaming that exists is leaving behind many people of different abilities, races, classes, and not considering those factors when deciding to choose sustainability and how people should be sustainable and why we all should go be why we shouldn't do these things. And there are a lot of human factors that a lot of people do without these conversations, which are vastly classist, racist ableist that I feel I would like to speak and learn and hear more about in the world. And Brandy is great, because her podcast for animals for Earth will link it somewhere on Instagram, maybe she is all about safe, simple steps to help the environment. So she's not preachy, she really comes from like a heart space, I just want us to do better. And I want to figure it out. She's also very reasonable about her choices, and that you can't always make the choice. Or sometimes choices are hard. Like we've had discussions before about like giving up flying in airplanes. Because of all the things airplanes do when I was I told her that it was at the San Diego airport. I don't know how many airports do this. But San Diego airport has a program where you can pay a few cents to offset your carbon footprint from your flight. I don't know exactly how it's a one to one, well, you can type in the length of your flight and go to this website and like give like a few dollars or whatever to offset your carbon footprint very interesting. And that was the thing. I don't know if it was performative or real. But they did that when I went a few years ago,
I've never noticed that I'm going to have to look the next time I go. I agree. I think that was a great episode, I'd love to have Brandy back. And I think that we should definitely keep talking about it and maybe come up with something I don't know, like long term, whether it's blog episode segments, like regular catch ups, because I feel like both of us having grown up in the bay area where it's not something just kind of like individually that people are focused on. But it was very much highlighted for us in schools and our work practices, things like that. I feel like there's there are a lot of small things that we've learned that we could share with others, because some of them are absolutely tiny and strange, but they make the biggest difference. I know in my house, whenever we do buy milk in the regular like milk cartons, the paper ones that then becomes our compost bin, that little thing. Yeah, so it's generally it's like a weekly thing. Because like whether almond milk, oat milk, whatever like that, we get it from this little organic market. And they honestly, they're a little leaky, they're not the best, it's fresh. So it's like that's why we feel comfortable using it like that. So we can change it out weekly. And I know a one of the big problems that I hear from most people trying to compost is that they don't like taking out the bag, they don't like having to change it out. By the time they do. Sometimes it starts leaking, or it breaks over their floor. But this is just a little bit more compact and structured. So that way, it's easy for you to change out
tell simple steps. What's your final episode, and then we'll wing it.
My final episode is why aren't we relatable. So I know relatability, for us has been a conversation that we've been having for a while before we even knew what relatability was or how long it really to build exactly before there was really a name for this that was well known. We have been trying to figure this out for ourselves. And I think now that we've been able to give a voice to some of the things that we feel and know that others are feeling the same way feeling similarly adjacent just wherever they are and their view of why am I not relatable? I think it was, I think it's great that we're able to put that out there on our platform and talk about the areas where we feel like we're lacking or misunderstood because it helps normalize it for other people because you're not actually lacking you may in some circles of where you are be misunderstood. But there are other people out there who know in a way what you're going through and they can really empathize
and thinking and reflecting on that episode more. I don't I'm not gonna pull one at you and tell you what I'm changing my mind on what we said in the episode. But something that I've just been thinking about a lot in terms of that episode of relatability a lot of it of what I feel we covered was it's not me, it's you. It's not you. It's relatability it's the way you're seeing and I don't feel like thinking about it now personally, I don't think that's the right perspective to look at it from because rather than you like you just said no, you're and it's the circles, it's the conversations, it's the lack of education that is coming into play. It's kind of like well, here are all the reasons society tells me not I'm not relatable and you just like are wearing with the scarlet are rather than somebody He doesn't see you as sway. And that's a really unfortunate thing. But it's not you, it's society. And here's what you can do to empower and get yourself out of these cycles. And out of these spots where you're like, I'm not relatable because I don't have blonde hair. Jayco says her blog for that reason I'm kidding, I went blonde because I wanted to mention my hair, apparently going back to the ever so blonde hair is now chewy, which is the dumbest thing ever. But that's another episode. How can blonde hair be chewy? I don't know. But I think just for me, I don't want to like, like I said, I'm not changing my mind. I think there are a lot of reasons and a lot of valid experiences people have of terms of relatability. And like, oh, no, you're not relatable, unless you're meeting X y&z standard that everyone has. But rather than put it on, like, because I don't meet the standard, it means I need to contort or do XY and Z. It's like no, maybe let's just not let's not surround ourselves with people who are going to continue to hold up a standard knowing that I'm always going to be a step or two behind you in the standard.
I agree. And I think that it's part of an ongoing conversation, because I think part of the first step is recognizing that No, it's not you there's something insidious and endemic held in these societal standards for what relatable life is like. And I think it's like it's a two step process. One, you have to realize that it's not you it is some a morphus outside force. And then secondly, you have to be comfortable and learn how to change the environment that
you're in. Yes. And I think that's the thing with it being an amorphous authorities, and amorphous outside force is yes. And also though, like, I'm not trying to be disrespectful, start a fierce conversation or rage or anything, but it's also things like, I believe, that can be simplified into a lot of other areas, which is Life is not fair for anyone. And yes, this is a particular thing, particularly for you particular, for me, particularly for women of color, this is this is one of those things, but it's life is just not fair. And if we were to try to make it fair, life is just not fair period. And everyone has different things and not to minimize or say Sucks to suck that you're starting here, when everyone else is here or feel behind or out of place or anything. It's the thing of like, we need to acknowledge like, you can know that through experience and perception society has a label or a bias or some lens they see you through and no, that's society's problem, not mine. And like you said, change the environment and work within that as well or work out of that.
I think we still approach it from some slightly different places. But I understand what you're saying and I don't think it's necessarily about trying to make everything fair for everyone but it's about acknowledging that everyone has feelings, hardships, passions, that your judgments can hurt, so I don't necessarily think it's about like trying to like as, as my therapist would say, carpet the world so that you feel better, but like rather recognize that not every opinion or thought that's shared needs to be so sharp
agree my therapist likes acronyms. Those are the ones where you shorten words. Like she likes the acronym Wait, which stands for why am I talking? I like it so kind of before you make a judgement or comment, I think I agree with what you're coming from. I guess my whole thing is it's like an example and it's not a targeted example. It's just the easiest ones like I know that blondes get more likes on Instagram so I'm going to go blonde and then take a picture because I want to fit it's like that is dumb. I'm sorry that is dumb if the only reason you're doing it is to get more life insurance or it's a thing of like I'm not getting the likes on Instagram because I'm XYZ race or XYZ color toner stuff because like Instagram has millions of people and you can tell you see millions of people all skin tones are popular so I'm not saying that means oh don't see color racism doesn't exist colors and doesn't exist there are a bunch of issues as well it just doesn't mean like don't as I said in my birthday episode Don't tell yourself no before like society will other people will and society will tell you know what it's like Don't be I know that because I look like this and I wear this out but I'm not going to get the like so why am I posting Why am I trying it's like no do what you want to do and society will follow and the people who love you will follow or they won't but it doesn't change who you are at your core who you what you value your knowing your spectacular sparkly glitter unicorn balm
very nice and see and I see that and I understand that but I also think that sometimes you're just because like we're keep we're gonna continue talking about Instagram I know through certain conversations that I've had with people who have a similar Instagram audience to me there are like some very key things that like you know you can hit that will get you there and you know if you miss you will be
completely ignored is that will one Instagram has the algorithm which is screwing itself which any relatability level needs to factor in the Instagram algorithm which has issues and biases and AI and all this stuff, which frankly would be a great episode, but I took a machine learning class over quarantine for fun and when Unlike Google's AI program, I can't I can't code it. But I was curious on what it wasn't how it was gonna work. And I don't fully get it. But I have a basic understanding of it. But essentially, it's kind of a thing of like, the short version is to you, Amazon put in an AI program to help with hiring, they took their topic sets, all of this any person, any woman who had anything like women's sports, women's this automatically got rejected because their top things were all white men. So algorithms have flaws. Because algorithms are programmed by humans, you have biases. So my thing is, like, we're all at full FBl we're all at the mercy of the algorithm one and two, I think, like, I'm not trying to disregard I think we can all hit or miss on Instagram, though. No,
I agree. But I think my point there is like, not necessarily like how it translates on Instagram, but just how that knowing affects you. Because you know, the algorithm does have bias, you know, like, your audience may have a bias. So I think it's just like, it's figuring out how to balance holding that knowledge and still doing it anyway. Because it's one thing to personally not feel your best. And then it's another to know Oh, like, there is a very, like, there's a very real glass ceiling. And it's like, and a thing of Oh, no, that's an even worse example. It's almost like thing of like you can you like continually seek to break through like individual ones with every post.
I guess my only question or pushback curiosity statement will go with is who's putting that glass ceiling on because there are plenty of people are of let's just say marginalized communities who do break through it, who do push through it. I'm not saying everyone has to push through it. And at the same time, Instagram is a social media thing where people post a filtered curated version of their life, it's a thing of like, there are plenty people I'm sure who feel very similar way to you who are like every post I do is a glass ceiling. I'm trying to break up and there's a bunch of people who just don't post on circumstantial give a shit and it doesn't mean that they're neither is wrong. And I guess my curiosity is coming from when like saying I have a glass ceiling, or like there is a glass ceiling, it's like, but is that really an external glass ceiling or an internalized glass? Ceiling searing a steak on the glass ceiling?
Um, I think you would need to speak to someone who posts on Instagram more for that glass ceiling was just the best analogy that I could come up with, because I think it's something that most people have heard, most people have heard. And it's like something that we know, depending upon strength, density, whatever you can break through it. Like I was just trying to come up with an example of like something that could be replaced or encountered again. No, I Yeah. So I don't think I'm the best person for that. But I think
that but like, on the general principle, sometimes like there, when for an example that might be more relevant to you and your goal, there's a glass ceiling because of XY and Z factors about my physical appearance, or my preferences, or my family or the perception of society, is it really saying like, there's a glass ceiling physically in front of me, and I need to break through it or it's like, because of those things. And because of the trauma and the PTSD and all of that I have created this ceiling wall that I look at the world through and create all of my judgments around to how I should and will and counter and move through the world? I
don't know. But I don't know. But I have some people I can ask who are not necessarily social media expert, but they are nology forum educated.
Yes. But like as this is our podcast, and this is a feeling you have I know we can find out logistics of the Instagram algorithm and like its biases and things. I guess for me, the bigger thing is like when we know that
oh, here, if you just want me not generally where like it's coming from, I think it's a combination
of both fair can can can we elaborate on this, since this is a audio form?
I think it's a combination of both because there are certain limitations that we all set up for ourselves, whether we do it consciously or unconsciously. And then through therapy, and just you know, general enlightenment that happens in your day to day life, you have to then realize those and work through how to take them down. But then I think there are also outside factors that are real, I don't necessarily want to call them limitations, because I don't think that they are exactly but I do think there are certain ways in which social media will really try to redirect your audience based on what you're putting out there and then in turn, that can either hinder or help you
correct. I see that I agree with what you're saying. I think my bigger thing is like the part that as we all know, I love the Serenity Prayer typically known as Carnac circle Sheezus and not rehab. What's the term the group so support groups? That's Narcotics Anonymous, the shark holics anonymous, Al Anon, Alcoholics Anonymous. What's the general like? I know I thought the general term started with Na I don't know whatever those kind of groups are is the Serenity Prayer is something that my therapist taught me that they commonly use that I think kind of for me is like the crux of life, I think where we agree and then just kind of split separately like I'm you're focusing on what The I'm focusing on the part I'm trying to make sure that I was like kind of like not switching my opinion on but I wanted to elaborate on was the the courage to change the things I can part versus you were doing except the things I cannot change which might be some of the disadvantages or hindrances. And also, like, I think we're focusing on both, but I wanted to make sure you and our audience and everyone who hears us knows we're very much seeing the whole picture of like, yes, there are some hindrances, and there's also the way we interpret and what we perceive and how we act on those hindrances.
Yeah, I think what it comes down to for us is that we we focus more on changing the different like the different sides. For us personally, not necessarily that we think one or the other is more prevalent
on that little segue. And a little wrap up. Thank you to all of our other guests. I mean, I think I could name them all. Do we want to go back and forth? Thank you, Laura. Ali, Brian, Megan, Grace, Amanda where you said Amanda, Heather, Melissa Gular are wonderful podcast cohort and Dr. Ana let's use a Brandy right? Yeah, cuz she was in the weeds. I dedicated a segment of Brandy because we love her so much. Stell. We had a few to Peters and for our two Peters, thank you to Brian, Megan it, Allie, for coming back on and talking with us again.
Thanks for liking us guys. We
appreciate it. We'll be back for season two. Our plan is February but who knows with my hopeful employment, Angela's new employment? Yeah, well, sounds good. I don't know the interest new job. Maybe we'll have a whole podcast studio.
That could be really fun. I actually have been looking into wallpaper and chairs. Very nice. Oh, but thank you so much, everyone for coming through. Again. I know Jay already said it, but I just had to say it again for coming through
what what what side are you? Thanks for coming through.
Honestly, in the email that I just got someone literally put the subject line as come through. Please keep in mind, this is a work related email, and it was spelled through th RU. And on that note, thank you for listening to this episode of insomnia parotta grab your coffee bowls. And don't forget to rate download and follow on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts as always where you lead will follow. So head on over to @inomniapod on Instagram and let us know what you'd like to hear about in the comments bye
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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