What’s not an Olympic sport but should be an Olympic sport? If you were a collegiate Greek, you might say navigating the ever fluid social scene of your campus Greek system, and we agree!
This week, were diving into the world of sorority and fraternity philanthropy events and navigating the complex mind of the fraternity male, all of which gave some surprising game play aspects. From finding a date to formal, balancing other extracurriculars, and participating in a year long philanthropy event, we’re back this week with the mythical Ali to see what it’s like to take on a weight only previously held by Atlas and Annabeth.
Today’s episode features our first special guest of the month, Jae’s Big Sis, Ali!
- Fun Fact: Ali has a pretty impressive weapons collection
- Note: When we say Asian fraternity, we are referencing a multicultural fraternity that was established to promote AAPI membership
- A Date Party is an event thrown by a fraternity or sorority in which members of the organization are able to bring dates/guests to an event. Usually this takes place at an amusement park, bowling alley, roller rink, sporting event, etc.
- Ali’s most memorable fraternity hosted date party was at a Cirque du Soleil show
- Making guy friends in fraternities might seem daunting, but they still are dudes like all the others
- Fun Fact: Jae had Angela and Ryan reenact the choking story for Ali a couple weeks after we recorded this when she and her husband came to visit
- Note: Just always bring backup tissues, hand sanitizer, perfume, and socks to fraternity houses. Trust us
- We don’t love Pledge Puppies, or any other sort of pledge class animal, so…stop?
- Surprise! Ali, Megan, Angela, and Jae will all be going to Vegas together next year
- Speaking of making friends, participating in a fraternities philanthropy is a great way to make friends! Ali participated in one her 3rd year and Jae was her organizational assistant. Ali didn’t win, but she should have!!
- Fun Fact: Jae the assisted all future contests in our sorority while she was in chapter
- Fraternity serenades are some of the most amazing things one can experience and we hope you enjoy our favorite here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2xQoR8ankA&ab_channel=AnastasiaOswald
I pledge myself to the pod. Loyal I'll always be a p to start a D at the end, and an O sitting in between. Welcome back to it on me your progress. I'm Jae like the letter.
And I'm Angela, also known as AVO.
Once and for this lovely series of Greek life, my big sis Alison,
hi. Hi, how are you? I know I heard it, I thought you were gonna keep going. I didn't realize I was jumping in. Alright, Hello, everyone. We're not used to doing not transitions. I guess just like in real life. We're not great introducing people and transfers over to podcasts.
I actually I was at a fourth of July barbecue a couple weeks ago and realized that one of my close family friends had been engaged for almost a year now. And I've never met her fiance formally. So we were just talking for about an hour. And she's like, wait, have you guys met? Like, nope. I mean, I know who you are. Because I've seen photos and everything. And I've heard stories. Like this is our first face to face. You've just never had the actual introduction.
Yeah, interactions are weird. And also at this point, like, it's we I feel so old. I met both of you back in 2013, which is now almost eight years ago.
Yeah, yeah. I think my high school reunion should be should have happened this year. But I think either COVID and it didn't happen, or it just wasn't invited.
Would you have gone?
I've also thought about this. And I realized that the email that I attached when I graduated high school is not the same email that I use now. So they have no way of contacting me for my high school reunion.
Well, I would think whoever whoever does, it would be like through Facebook groups or something like that, because I think most people don't use the email they had when they were in high school. Okay, probably didn't everybody have like a really embarrassing email in high school?
Yes, I use it for shopping now. Store. Exactly. Well, also the way our sorority handles it, like every few months, I felt there sending out a list of like these people are missing someone find their email, contact information, whatever.
Oh, yeah, I had I had a some sort of a sorority newsletter or something show up at my dad's house years after I had like left college. He didn't live there anymore. I hadn't lived there ever. I don't know how they got that address or how it ended up there. But apparently, they found me.
That's so crazy Being that this is our Greek life series for August. And even though we're past our prime, we take
every advantage to go back and think about when we had a little more so more five, also for ourselves when I had a little more social relevancy. I mean, I think we all had a little bit more social relevancy, then well, I don't know, I guess for me, like my Instagram likes have gone way down and post college.
I think we still in social relevancy. It's just not as frequent of social events. It's not like every single day, there's something to go to true.
I mean, if you think about it, what we had maybe three events per week,
on top of a meeting.
Yeah, like between a sisterhood, a social philanthropy event, something like that, like we were really busy.
Good for us. To start off with this episode, we
would tell one of our favorite stories about you one of the stories that just like sticks out to me as I think the first time I met you, and you're big, and she was joking around about how you were very dangerous. And no, she's just like, making fun of her. And then like you turned around, you were like, No, seriously, like, I have like weaponry under my bed. And
I had a pretty substantial weapons collection in college. It's dwindled a little bit, but I've still got some of the cool stuff. Now I'm talking easy access. Yep. You never know. You never know you can never be too safe.
And at this point, I talk so much I don't remember which stories I've shared on the podcast or not. So one of my favorite ones and this might be a repeat is after my first recruitment practice, where Ali was our kind of like instructor for choreography and dance and everything. So she had a lot to do during this prep week. So she takes me and then one of our other sisters grace to chick fil a after because we're just like exhausted, tired and starving. So college drive thru Central. So we go through and we're just chatting and she drives directly to the window. And like doesn't realize it until we get there. That we didn't order. So fortunately, we're able to order the window just drive through but like the three of us laugh all the way back to the apartment because we're just like that happened. But none of us to be fair, none of us also said anything. I think I realized what was happening but I was like, Yeah, like maybe this is just like how it happens like this is what's supposed to happen this time.
No, just completely absent minded. Just Straight through, and I was just expecting that they telepathically knew what my order was.
I mean, to be fair, though, like, recruitment really does take every single ounce of energy that you have probably, like reaches into your future, like steals a few days of your life force.
It's intense, the practice is worse, because you have Yeah, you have to do it with the party. But like, you kind of mean not like really, but you get the energy of new people, like new people circulating on like you're doing them. But in practice, you're just screaming at each other for hours, like practicing the cheers and the triage. And I know everyone has probably seen the viral ad pie video that went viral of the people with who do the door chant the girls of the greater UK, it went viral, and people make make fun of Greek life for this one like entries like we've been waiting for you all summer. And we're so glad you're finally here. Then they open the door. And it's a whole bunch of girls and a door chant. My friend who went to UCLA showed me what this was like, oh, it is very intense. But it's very much like that. Just like the one year I went to cheer camp. We were on the dance side of it, but it's very much the way bring it on movies. You would think it was more distant than that. But it's really not. We had a spirit stick and everything. Wow, did you have to burn it? No, we didn't even get to keep it. It was like which team was was spirited that day.
Oh, that's so sad. I feel like everyone should get a spirit stick. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Aren't we all in favor of those now? Isn't that what we're winning? Yes, yes, we do know this. I was just gonna say we actually have another question for you, which is why did you join a sorority? Well,
I am an incredibly socially inept person. And I don't I, I didn't join a sorority my freshman year, and I made some friends, I think in my dorm Hall. But other than that, I had a really hard time creating that community for myself and your big Angela actually lived in my hall, and have been slowly incepting me about joining a sorority and joining specifics. And we ended up moving in together for sophomore year, we went together all throughout the rest of college. Yeah, I think I think just looking standing outside the window looking inside and saying, oh, there's all of these events, you kind of have these built in friends who lead you through college and guide you along the way if I need that, I want that sense of community. So that's why
did you consider joining your first year,
I think the first year was just such a whirlwind that by the time I had even thought about it, it would have been past the point of joining, because recruitment or the couple of days before school even starts, or maybe like the week it starts.
It's the end of the first week. So our school we have this thing called zero week, which is just the Thursday and Friday before then you go into week one. And it was that first weekend after week one every year.
Yeah. So I think I just a sign up by the end of zero week, I
Yeah, so you really, if you're going to join as a freshman, you have to know, I know, right off the bat, oh, I want to join a sorority.
It's intense. And I don't know if they did it for you. But I went for my freshman orientation. And they gave the Greek life spiel, they told everyone do not join as a first year, it's like, you should only do this as a second or third year, like really why they were like, Oh, it's like way too overwhelming for everyone between adjusting to your order system schedule. And like making new friends living in a new place. They're like, it's not for you. They're like, maybe consider it for a CLB in like winter or spring or like, but just plan on doing it your second year. Interesting. I
recall hearing that, but it's very possible, I blocked out so much of it.
They very much try to talk you out of it doing it as a first year.
I mean, it makes sense. You're in a new place you a completely new surroundings. You're just trying to adjust to survive on your own without your parents, and throw in all of the responsibilities that come with being in a sorority, because you do have a lot of responsibilities and a lot of obligations that go with it. I
guess this is what then that was one of my biggest acts of rebellion than ever joining as a first year again. I mean, I knew I wanted it though, I don't regret it. But I think our school very much encourages later joining in their students like the adjustment and then also we got a big spiel at my orientation of these organizations. You might hear these letters, these organizations are no longer on our campus. We don't acknowledge these letters here. If you hear anyone talking about these parties, or these events, report them immediately. Wow, they were intense. I wonder if something happened because I don't I don't feel like they were that intense when I was going through.
I mean something might have I remember because when you join there's like mandatory safety orientation for Greek life or something like that. I think we had to do as a new member and they kept to citing Asian fraternity and something that happened at a party where I think me I don't know if I don't think anyone died, but I think like several people ended up in the hospital. Yes.
And then just like a quick we speak in these things because we know this world. There are traditional organizations that were made for social things which are Panhellenic and PC National PanHellenic. Council, yes. And then I have C which are the inner fraternity houses which are the ones you think of when you hear of Greek life at school. When you hear like Sigma Chi or at pi or Kappa Alpha Theta, like those ones, and then there are ones that are multicultural, which typically are meant for a particular cultural group, you don't have to be part of it, but they're more cultural based. And then there are co Ed ones for profession. So there are lawyer fraternities and Doctor ones and engineering once we were part of the social one, but some people were in both some people you could be in not two in the same Council, we could be in ones in multiple councils. Was that right? Yes, you are correct. So, live
live facts check. And so today, we're actually going to be talking about interacting with the men from friendship stuff different
for friendships to Friday fraternisation
to philanthropy events, we're going to open this up as an introspective dialogue on how we as sorority women navigate Greek life with our male counterparts. All right, first, big question for you before you came to college, what was your perception of fraternity guys?
And when you actually met them? How on point were you
I think anybody's perception of fraternity guys pre college is like what you see in movies so kind of crazy and rowdy dangerous. And dumb for a lack of a better term, like jumping off of a roof into a pool or some something like that somewhat accurate for some of them. I mean, I think this goes for the women too. I think it's really just the phase of life that you're in and you want to have fun and you want to meet people and you're 19 and invincible. So yeah, jump off of a roof into a pool.
And for everyone out there, we went to school in Southern California. There were pools. This happened pretty often in the fall and spring quarter. I can name three houses. I've seen people jump off the roof of Oh, I still have videos.
I'm sure I do somewhere.
Yeah, those pools were not necessarily clean.
Oh, yeah. No, I don't think I ever got in a pool myself.
I don't think I did. I mean, I got in our apartment complex pool, which frankly, was much cleaner. But yeah, there was the new gym belt when you were there.
I think it opened my senior year. Okay, so I got a year of that. And the bet pool is gorgeous. Yeah, they built up the gym, completely new everything. It was gorgeous. But yeah, we got to feel like the last year that I was there.
I feel like when I went into college, I was a big fan of the show Greek I always knew I wanted to join a sorority from like a very young age before I really even fully knew what it was. I feel like the biggest misconception I had was not the amount of like presence the fraternity men had on campus. I feel like when you watch movies, you see them walking down the row in the group you kind of see them always like I don't know a better way if like hurt, like have like an animal in a group. Like lots of them walking together in suits. Like you always know when the fraternities are around. And I feel at our campus because it wasn't a big part of it. Like they put Blunden like yeah, sure they were shirts or tanks with like letters on them sometimes. But it wasn't a thing of like you always knew when the fraternities were approaching because they weren't always in groups unless it was like a meeting or something particular. But yeah, I think that's a very concise way of phrasing
fair. I think my biggest one that I was expecting was like, Oh, yeah, I'm going to go to all of these parties and amazing frat houses and we didn't have traditional frat houses we had our little our answer to them, which is where like fraternities would buy like two or three houses right to name them rent. Well, no, my senior year there was that really big thing where one fraternity then bought a house that another fraternity was renting because they wanted forever and they didn't want to keep going back and forth between themselves that the big white one on the hill.
Yeah, he bought it. Yeah. And I think Alec got hit that night.
Oh, got hit GB. I get hit.
Oh, you both got hit on the face of this house. I think I mean, I got hit in the face a lot. There's,
um, oh, I think we were at like a bid Day party. What was it called? The big white one. Okay. Now after that, fillers really doesn't sound that much better. Oh, man. Okay, so yeah, we were we were at pillars. And I think some guy was either like violently dancing, or he just like was really drunk. And he swung his arm around like close fisted. And he caught me right in the nose. And then I think like shortly after that, either you were hit or someone else was hit. But I remember you were driving alley. And after that, we left we went to another fraternities party, and they were having like a paint party or something. So everything in their house was covered. And I remember I think you like ripped the paper off of the refrigerator and got me I
guess, I'm sure I have zero. That was me. It was definitely I know. No, I remember tonight. It's tonight. Not the blonde president but the brunette one above him. The one who like slapped me on the butt with pain. You know who I'm talking about? Oh, yeah. Like I don't think I think that's enough of a description. Yeah, yeah. This is like a glow in the dark party. Yes. Okay. I think I vaguely recall this. Yes, everyone was wearing white and then they had like blue neon paint? Yes. Okay. Okay, that was an excuse for boys just to put their hands everywhere. Yeah, yeah, that sounds right.
Frankly, it's like if you looked at any of the guys, they had very little paint on themselves, or they did it to themselves also. Sure.
Okay, so what was your first experience taking a fraternity boy to an event or go into a fraternity event?
I don't know what happened. I think it was taking someone to a fraternity event and it was alright to to one of our events. And it was our first date party. And I swear, I felt like such a loser asked like seven people before. Supposedly, everyone was like, busy that weekend, or like it was too short. Notice that they couldn't do it. And so then I ended I was going to take my friend Alex, and we were set and he like the night before, like I am so sorry. I have a family emergency in Mexico and I have to leave the country like right now. I can't go to your date party. And I was like, of course family comes first like you You do what you have to do that shit. So I left it up to the to the sorority gods and I posted on our on our sorority page. Hey, everyone, my date back down on me the last second. I have already paid for this this extra ticket set me up Do your worst, not even 10 minutes later, someone who I barely spoken to called me was like, Look this guy up. Tell me if this is okay. He's down. I looked him up. I was like, yeah, sure, Fine, whatever. And so I ended up on a essentially a blind date. on a blind date. I'd never met this person before. And also, we had t shirts made for us and our dates. And my date. Alex was like roughly my size. He was his he was like a smaller dude. The guy that I ended up taking was the very top. So it like he put it on, but it was like almost a mid drift. And he's like, I'm so sorry. I was like, that's fine, whatever. But it was very, very funny. So yeah, that was an eye. Yeah, I think we went to we went to SeaWorld, I had never met this person before. So I was at an amusement park with basically a total stranger for the whole day. But it ended up working out it was fun.
I mean, I feel like this was a pretty not like your date canceling last minute. But just going with someone who you've never met like that happened to us pretty often. That's how most of my dates were set up.
I also think so being that we were on quarter system. And our IFC panel on a Greek system was about roughly 20 organizations at any given moment, a lot of events do overlap, because every organization typically has a date party, they have a semi they have a formal and for all of those organizations to individually pick weekends within a 10 week radius, like a lot of things will overlap over a weekend. So that was one of the things that was always hard of like when one group of equal weren't doing this. And then fortunately, because of the patriarchy, typically the guy's got to decide which event was more fun and wouldn't go back to that. Which is why I really felt like we won the year. We got to do Disneyland.
Oh, yeah. Everyone wanted to come with us to Disneyland. That was great. That was a great one. Who doesn't love Disneyland? That was a fun day.
I think it was 38 total. And that included our charter bus and our ticket.
Oh, yeah. Whoever whoever ran our whoever was our like director of events. She had a really great hook up there.
I obviously joined the year after Allie did, but I remember her pointing out to the guy she took to this event and he's definitely like a fraternity Brad. Chad. Kyle. Kyle.
He very much is one of those. Like, if you think when that picture of fraternity man you have in your head is the person she took to this first event,
which event? You're SeaWorld about. Oh, okay. Yeah. So did he did he reciprocate? Were you taken to another? Were you taken to one of his events?
I was I think we went to Cirque du Soleil. Oh, they're doing their day party was at Cirque du Soleil which will feel really bad. Because Um, so just always like a very, it's a very, feels very fancy. And so there's all of these like wealthy, sophisticated people in the audience and then just a busload of rowdy sorority and fraternity people roll up. And yeah, and I just remember like circus circus, Olay, they're there they're flying around, they're doing flips and shit. And oh, you just hear Whoa.
Oh my god. I felt so bad for the people that like paid full price for their ticket. But it was a lot of fun. Yeah, be fair, they must have had a lot of empty seats to fit a fraternity event left. So they were probably just glad they had the money. It might
have been a week night now that I think about it. Okay. It might have been like a Tuesday night. Oh, gosh, I'd be so mad if I paid to go to that. I mean, we had a great time. Oh, I'm sure.
So that's a little bit on what it's like to take someone to an event but what about just like regular friendships. How do you build those because I feel like most of the people that I was friends with in Greek life I, we became friends outside of Greek life, like before I actually joined. Like, I don't know if I made any like new guy friends. Oh, wait, I'm confused. Can you can you rephrase? Okay, well, so I also joined as a second year and all of the friends that I had who were fraternity guys like I met in my first year I don't think I made any new friends once I'd actually joined I feel like from then on it was very much dating hookup casual acquaintance thing I feel it that has to do with your major
photo. Like if you were an engineer, I think you would have made had a lot more fraternity guys in classes like I found that's the majority of how I had a lot of met a lot of guys and like I would see them at parties and circulate that way because like you're just like in classes and in groups and in discussions all the time. Like I don't know if I had one class without someone in a fraternity. The funniest thing though, once I was in one of my business classes, and this is why I took my texts off my Mac I know if you have a Mac computer you can like get your text to it. People were sending me photos of a guy sitting right behind me. Right in front of me. I don't remember. But his face I was getting photos of his Instagram and he was like very in my proximity. I don't know if it was in the front a little right a little up like and I just like slammed my computer down in the middle of taking notes. Because I cannot get his face off of my screen in
the middle of class. Wait, was this a setup potential setup for an event?
This was either Jesus Christ or or or family. Ah, okay, I think you know who I'm talking her. I don't want to know. very fair. I'm good without that information. I mean, I guess you could date your bag that's like quote like, in says, I figure it as much. I know, but for people I don't want to know thinking on our party. Alright, so making friends do you? Did you feel like you have like,
like, do you feel like you had a fraternity you weren't close to like to like really good, like guy friends who were in a fraternity? I think so.
But I think at least for me, my experience was my closer guy friends would be guys that were dating friends of mine. So there was never any chance of anything ever happening there. It could actually be strictly platonic. or friends of someone that I was dating so I would be closer to that that specific fraternity but I do I still I have a few guy friends that I still that I will still hit up every now and again and just be like, Hey, he's still alive. Oh, great. Getting a
I feel like honestly, in college, that's the only way to really have a fully Platonic friendship is either they're dating your friend, or you're dating their friend or they completely friendzone you know, but the thing is, like, I don't know how my I mean, I didn't have all of my friends were adjacent to one of my sorority friends. But like, I don't know any guy who blatantly like friendzone like just friendzone
that happened to me a few times where like, I got the whole thing of like,
Oh my gosh, friend, it's so good to see you a friend and let's hang out together friend. Wasn't he one of those people?
I think so. Yeah. Yeah, it was like where you get like the really, really overstated use of the word friend like multiple times and five minute period, you're like, Okay, I got it. I didn't see you that way. But I'm really glad that you feel like you want to set up this boundary officially for us glad we're on the same page.
So that's like, like, I don't understand the motive because like, are you putting that up because like, definitely don't want to sleep with me. They feel like that what
what I kind of feel like that's what it is. Either that or someone thinks that you're interested in them and they don't see you that way or they get a little freaked out or you're not their type
or whatever the reason is, but even so I feel like guys wouldn't want to limit their options of people they could hook up with so if you're making that very clear on a post, so you really don't want
I feel like they do that if they are if they feel like they have a plethora of people to hook up with. Like if they already have a lot of options. They're like I don't need any more like you're not within my type my zone like just call you a friend and not add to the roster. No, I never took it badly. It was just I think it's just really funny. And it does happen.
Shame. I'm just trying to I'm trying to decipher in my head who this must be tared Edgerton look and duties. It's like no thing.
Did you ever know you were actively on someone's roster, but uh, you weren't the one they were dating but like they were keeping you in keeping you close, keeping me on like the hook not necessarily on the hook. But like you were on their roster of people to like, hit up not like you weren't like the number where you weren't like they weren't exclusively trying to date anyone. But like if they wanted to hook up on you knew that you were in there like top eight in my space.
In my space friends, wow. throwback. I definitely had a couple of people that every time I interacted with them is like, Oh, you think that this is a possibility at some point when it definitely was not. But yeah, there were there were a few people that I would almost deliberately avoid, like, Oh, this is gonna this person gets really drunk and they're gonna get really aggressive and I'm just gonna avoid it as much as possible.
I'm a firm believer in that as well. I don't know, this might be an unpopular opinion. I never think like you never blame a victim of anything that happens to someone. Also, there's using your common sense of situations, you know, that could occur that you could actively prevent from happening. If I know I'm going to a part of town for like a dinner on a date. That's not like the best part of town, I'm going to like, make sure I have a few extra layers on me not because again, nothing would be my fault if I didn't do that. But personally, I make the choice to walk a little faster to do things to actively protect myself.
I mean, I think that's just a thing that as women we're taught from an early age and that is part of the patriarchy of well if you didn't do X, Y and Z like you were asking for it and whatnot and you're not that's not that's not it at all however like knowing that it's it's not whatever might happen is not my fault. That doesn't mean that I don't know walk with my keys like in between my fingers like Wolverine claws every now and again. If I'm feeling unsafe, I think we I think we are naturally cautious and take precautions as much as possible. That doesn't mean that anything is your fault or that if you didn't take a specific precaution that it was your fault.
Sure. I'm sad. My mom said no to the taser. I was going to be given for college. They took a really cool tasers now I know I still want one. Now. I'm old enough. I can do it all myself. I started college as a minor. So I couldn't do anything, right.
No. Oh, well, after this. I'll tell I'll tell you both the story it was like but I'm definitely getting a taser.
Can I can I have a quick aside, when I was graduating college or graduating high school, I was having like a little graduation dinner and people were giving gifts and my dad hands me a box and goes very seriously, college can be a little dangerous. And you're going to be alone and I'm not going to be there to take care of you your brother's not going to be there. So I want you to have this on you at all times. And I'm fully licensed as a taser. This is some kind of some security. And I opened it up and it was a sonic screwdriver.
Oh my god. Amazing.
That's one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given.
Oh no, I thought you were gonna go with like one of those tack lights like As Seen On TV like my dad got me one of those so it's this flashlight it's maybe about like seven inches long but it's super heavy. So you can use it to like love someone. It's also super bright has a strobe light mode and another button where it will like make kind of like a little alarm noise it's not really loud, but enough to scare somebody away. Yeah.
Interesting. Does a strobe light really disorient someone that much? It can
Yes. So might also just throw them off enough to give you time to run away.
But there are also people who do strobe light training so like sex offenders
or like cop Well, I
mean, anyone can really do it to themselves just like long exposure to strobe lights and like trying to like orient yourself and move around. And remember like how to keep like your spatial distance.
I don't have time for that this time for that I
have you may is the time that like people make for some things.
I have been watching a bunch of videos on my TED talk that have come up like how to rescue yourself out of like zip ties versus like rope versus like, how to do it like your bra to like pull it certain ways. like okay, I can have these videos, save and pull them up when I'm tied up. Well, that's what you practice.
it for you that for my birthday. Just do a practice. They will just like tie everyone. We'll all have everyone kidnapped from their homes in undisclosed location. You can put those weapons you have to get use. It'll be a real life escape room.
Yeah, but you've got to like tell me it's happening. Otherwise, I'm going to go like hard to get to. Like, I gotta know that there's limits to what I can do.
I mean, full disclosure, we would most likely employ Ryan kidnap you. And yeah, you could probably think that guy can kidnap me please. Well, the other day he was telling a story and he I guess he either he didn't understand what he was doing or he decided to embellish this one moment, but were he meant to like grab the back of my head to me, like he full on lunged across the table in grass. So there may be some surprises there.
It was very good like him to do a live variation of that event. Yeah. Wow. I thought about filming it, but I was too drunk. Okay, so now we've first blind date friends. Some of us meaning Allie and Allie alone. Oh, well, you kind of were lucky enough to get out of the friendzone if we weren't in the friendzone No, I know it was a Yeah, but like Allie can do it all on the roster. Get out of the friendzone magical unicorn
magical unicorn of what do you call it? I was going somewhere with that scrap that complete
with like the vortex or like the house buddy fraternity. Oh my god I was gonna
do I was actually going like somewhere totally different there is that Oh,
you've seen the house when we right Yeah, no. So in reference to like your living quarters when dating overturning man I was calling that the vortex. That's the house that they were trying to destroy. I haven't seen it once anyway.
No. Are we describing this the state of any given fraternity house?
Yes. Yeah. Bending time their days, nights. weeks. It's It's disgusting.
I think any fraternity house is discussed? Well, especially if there's not cleaning service. My husband was in a fraternity where it was they had a fraternity row and they had like chefs that made food for them and they had cleaners so I'm sure those were much nicer but these were literally just houses that were rented and and six dudes lived there that had never experienced a mop before. Or the fact that maybe they should buy toilet paper. I don't under never toilet.
For guys, these toilet paper. Right? Exactly. So how are they just so calm, like leaving their bathrooms toilet paper free for days,
I will never understand that. There's just like roaches running around. You're like, Oh, that's just that's just a part of the fraternity? Absolutely not
to any of the fraternity houses hire cleaning services? Or is that just more of a thing for the rose?
I don't know that any of ours did
ours? Ours didn't. I think it's a thing with fraternities and sororities that have houses and that's part of your housing dues. goes to that. And it goes to hiring a professional chef and oh, yeah,
my friend. She told me about the chef and about their meetings. I'm like, well, that's nice. I know. I have a friend who he was. So he was president of his fraternity. So he was telling me about like his presidential quarters where he had his own room and like a little mini living room and his own bathroom. But then I guess they also had a fraternity cat and the cat loved to live in that room so whoever was president like had to care for the cat. That's fair trade on what if you're allergic though? Too bad like the cat? The cats house Oh,
well, since we're here well let's take a mini thing fraternity guys and their pets and not just like fraternity dogs and puppies. There was ghosts reptiles, snakes, pigs.
There was one I think there was one pledge class that had a pledge puppy multiple
Yeah, and then one fraternity on their Instagram had like a dedicated day to like it was an alliteration so insert letters here pups.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They had the pledge puppies,
which I don't feel like to be fair it like the animals were treated relatively respectfully, and then hopefully re homed kindly. But yeah,
I'm wondering what happens after everybody from the original class graduates and does the dog who does the dog stay away?
I mean, I don't even think it. I think it's normally like a pledge thing, though. I don't even know what happens once that class gets initiated.
I hope that they're re homed. I have heard some stories where somebody did take it back and it went to their family home. Like it was their dog, but their family was taking care of it while they were in college. All right,
I'm okay with that. I recommend not getting pets. And any girl who lives in any sort of frat house is basically the mother of the house. Like Angela is the mother of her work cutting up fruit.
slices. Oh, no. So we had we used to have this weekly fruit delivery when we were working in office. And this is where some of the fruit that like the guys would like pick up and take and eat on their own. But most of the time, they actually wouldn't eat it unless it was already cut up and then they could just serve it to themselves from a bowl.
So Angela, working in a corporate finance office would cut fruit for grown men because they seem baffled on the concept of cutting strawberries.
Let's be real though. Corporate Finance offices really are just extensions of fraternities.
Oh, absolutely. There's there's certain industries where you're like, Oh, yeah, you never you never grew out of that face.
it was actually super sweet. One of our company founders who he's now retired one of the first interactions we had when I joined the company was him letting me know about his vacation where he was going to Las Vegas for the weekend with his fraternity brothers in mind. This guy is like 70 years old. Wow.
I mean, I guess props for maintaining those friendships. Yeah, but Vegas when you're in your 70s Wow,
yeah. intense. No, he's he's such a sweet really nice guy. Like I'm sure they just had like a really great time like with all the food and shows and stuff and
gambling I'm sure I'm sure if you're you're a wealthy enough person. You're just sitting at a table gambling
one of the things that you get to do with the fraternity in Vegas is go to their formal
What was that? Because again, we were in Southern California. We were three hours away from Vegas. So anytime fraternities had formal they go to Vegas, anytime they had a weekend a weekend they'd go to Vegas, anytime they had an evening class canceled. Like a Wednesday
they go to Vegas. Um, yeah, yeah. So I went to Vegas a couple of times at a formal and the first time I wasn't 21 and no one in my group was 21. So we kind of just wandered the strip and had an adventure out like that. And that was a lot of fun. It was just it was just exciting to not be at school and be on a trip and be out with friends.
How did you pack I hear a lot of controversy over this and the one time I almost went like it gave an anxiety attack so bad that I was gonna what are the different styles packing like clothes versus no clothes? Like, what? What are these options? Well, I mean, I've listened to girls like freak out like oh my god like my suitcase isn't cute enough or it's not big enough or like how many pairs of shoes do I bring? What dresses Am I taking? Like, what do I wear to the pool? Like what do I wear to a day club? who's
looking at their soup? A lot of people I'm just like, imagining a guy being like, well, not cute enough. Like you can't come in my car
like okay for the suitcase. Oh, I saw I was in the car. I didn't make it onto the freeway, but like we picked up two other girls and that both of their suitcases were like heavily complemented. So apparently this is a thing that look guys at least think that they need to do. They're like, Oh my god, like cute suitcase or like, Oh, your suitcase is so light and fun. And so like I don't I don't know. But apparently like one of the girls like who was getting into the car. She said to me, she's like, Oh, thank God. She's like, I picked the right one. Like, what? Wow, alright, apparently another thing to be self conscious about. Okay, great. I know I rolled up with my little target backpack and I was like,
I think I'm ready.
I don't know how much I'm supposed to pack and these other girls brought like full on like medium size like you need to stow underneath in the baggage compartment.
suitcases and I was like, I'm just trying not to take up too much space on my car. Oh my god. Yeah,
wasn't it I feel like some of that is just like toiletries and like a hairdryer and a curler and all of your skincare and makeup and stuff like that takes up a good chunk of the luggage so and heels heels take up a good amount of
paternity formal you are not doing your full skincare routine, like you might want to but you're not going to do your full skincare routine in the bathroom. You're frankly might not even wash your face off because you don't want to redo your makeup the next day fair
it was a little less time but you do have like your all of your hair like dryer and curlers and all of your makeup for going out on the town
to how many outfits did you bring?
I think I had one or two dresses for going out. And then shorts and my T shirts for day clubs are not day clubs, but pools and bathing suits and stuff like that. I mean, the nice thing is that it's summer and it's in the middle of the desert so it's never gonna be cold you don't have to bring like a jacket and have a 90 I think heels are the thing that take up the most space.
Oh yeah, who wears those that? Right I think back and I could I could wear like four or five inch heels on on a regular five inch heels on a regular basis. And now I'm like oh my little kitten heels are a little too much for me right now. I mean to get the feeling back in your toes they're fair my feet I'm pretty sure the nerve endings of my feet died so contracting the first time you went with I qualify him as a friend would you say your first biggest trip?
Well versus second when you were like you were dating the person so dating the person? Yeah, so was it did you feel like less are more stressed depending on it? Like Like being that you were over? I know you're young like me, you were over 21 for your second time?
wasn't I was still I was actually very stressed about that one because I was 20 I think and I was the only person in our group was not 21 and it was made very clear to me that they didn't care and everyone was still going to go to clubs with or without me. And so
it's why I've still never been wine tasting because everyone went wine tasting when everyone else turned 21 and I've still never been wine tasting or beer tasting or to any sort of tasting room will take you will take will take you
Yeah, but I so I I am a strict rule follower. I am very scared of authority. I do not challenge any sort of rules but this is the one that I was like I need a fake ID so that I can get it just for that I wasn't even gonna order drinks it was just to get in so I wouldn't be left behind. But I was so panicked about it. It was it was so nerve racking and they'd like didn't even look at my ID I spent like three weeks trying to find someone that looked enough like me and thankfully she
was very sweet we remember this I was in your apartment when she came and dropped it off
we she was very we weren't even like close or anything she was just very like yeah, just bring it back to me on Monday
when she signed up she had a hot boyfriend she did
have a hot boyfriend Are they still together? I don't I don't believe so. Oh, not like I talked to either of them but I follow them
yeah I just remember the person whose ID where I'm like she was dating someone really attractive. I don't remember Did you I don't remember the story but like there was a story behind them behind them behind like their relationship I don't know. Oh, I don't know. But I wasn't close enough to it to you told it to me I feel like
I see people tell me these things that I did and or sad in college and I'm like I don't I blocked all of that out.
Similarly my junior year for a girl shrill our sisters went to Vegas for a weekend and I got to hang out with freshmen and sophomores because I was the only one of my class who couldn't drink because October birthday.
Very sad it's okay we're making up for it this year potentially making more for Oh, have you floated this trip? Yeah,
well yeah, but like I would have to be 21 to go there. Oh, well. No,
you said like makeup trip like instead. Oh,
oh, I have not. Oh, I have not floated Okay, hell yet. Well, I can go away. I didn't just oh no, you're invited to said trip. We did. I just did. Bring it up. Yeah, I
guess we're still gonna go to Vegas. But just four of us, the five of
us. I was thinking us, you and Megan and because he'll pay for the fare. I just want to live very large, alcoholic slushy. Hey, right. That's all that was my favorite part. So shifting a little bit, Allie participated and represented our chapter in a philanthropy event hosted by the fraternity of the person who was dating. Is that why you chose to participate in that one? Oh, no, I was just so excited to do it. This philanthropy event, philanthropic pageant, so there were pretty dresses, talents and things involved. But they're also questions and other segments, no bathing suit portion. And then to be fair, some of the sororities also hosted male pageants. It was an equal footing in that regard. I remember the meeting where they were going to announce it the freshmen or the first the new members were already late. And we like got pulled into the room. And I got a text child being like, hey, the nomination from Alec nominate me. And I was like, what, like, what is this? And luckily, someone else did it. And I feel like again, because my bag is a unicorn and magical and everything. Her name had already been floating around previous year's contestants that like she was going to represent it. Like I feel like it was a known thing. You were going to be the next one to do it. And then like, obviously, she wanted it, she got it. So what was that like representing and the process of it like getting a coach doing the things or
doing the things I had a lot of fun with it, it was a lot of fun. It was very stressful. Because it along with the pageant itself, you had to do a lot of fundraisers, and organize a lot of events because it was at its heart, a philanthropy event. So a good chunk of it was just fundraising for the charity, the philanthropy. My brain dive there for a second.
We also just to further highlight your unit coordinates. Weren't you also running to be a student senator at the time? Yes,
I was that that year was really rough. I don't think I slept very much. I survived on like Monster Energy drinks, and maybe two hours of sleep. But yet, so I was running for student government and doing the pageant at the same time. And it was a lot of fun. But I I had a coach who for about a month and he was really gung ho and he was really excited. And then a month into it. He was like, actually, I've dropped out of the fraternity. So
who was your coach originally?
Oh, yeah, yeah, for like a month. And then I got someone else who was amazing. He was he was amazing in every way. I love him to death. He was also running the entire event. So he was my coach, but also in charge of the whole thing. So he was just he was also having a very stressful but it was like a almost a full year long thing where you were throwing events from the fall into the spring to raise money for this one big ending event. So it was it was a really big time commitment. But it was a lot of fun. And yeah, I got to wear a nice dress. Very pretty dress. Yeah, we had a really great skit to Yeah, we had to we had to do a skit and then we had like a talent portion to have just like, do you
feel like it brought you closer to those guys? Or do you think I don't think she could have gotten much?
Yeah, I was I was I was pretty close to that fraternity at at the time. But yeah, I mean, you're spending a lot of time putting together the events putting together the skits and, and all that stuff. So yeah, you got you got to meet a lot of people that have choreography. That was a lot of fun. Yeah, I think inherently because you have to spend so much time with these people, you're you're gonna get a lot closer.
Do you have any, like good advice for people who are like considering really like being that standout person for their chapter to compete, or like to represent for an event like this? And they're a little shy, or they don't really know, like a lot of people and how they could maybe be more comfortable? Um, there were a lot of words for a really simple question there. I don't know what happened.
I feel like if we sent our chapter, we didn't all need to be the same thing. Like we didn't all need to be super talented and super want to do that thing. Like there are a bunch of ways to support for the person who is representing so I feel like within a group of like 100 plus girls, someone's gonna want to do that kind of thing.
Yeah. And I would say I attribute what little sanity I had left in that time to Jay and it was almost single handedly my support system during that time that helped me with everything. Like you just you did so much for me during that time that I absolutely would have lost it had I not had that support system. So I appreciate you very, very much. Of course,
one of the stories I wanted to bring up was one of your fundraisers Do you know when I'm I have no idea. The one you did on Valentine's Day.
Oh god, oh, that was so bad. I still have the mug. I it was so bad. I so poorly organized it it was I basically made like handmade edible arrangement type things for people to buy for Valentine's Day as a as a fundraiser and I promise to hand deliver all of them forgetting that time is finite, and I can't I can't hand everything to everyone. TJ and I were trying to deliver I think it was the very last one of the day and I needed to be I need I had somewhere to be, but we were delivering it to an apartment complex. And we could not find the apartment. We were running up and down several flights of stairs running from building to building because the numbers were all confusing, and we could not. We were probably in that complex for like a solid hour of just
yeah, running. Like is kind of one of them. It wasn't that one. But it was like similar to that in a way where there's like, there's an empty middle, and to get from one side to the other. You had to go down around and then back up the other staircase. Yeah, we could not find where this person was. And then we saw I don't know what number but we were for, like 812. And we could find 814 and like 811. And it's like we could not find the one door we needed. And the person wasn't very helpful and really tried to guide us at all. Yeah, did they did not help. No, not at all. It was I remember watching it and being very proud of Allie and her performance. We recorded her skit me and then these other littles also had to be in the skit. And that was really interesting. The skit was fine. Like it did the thing like the skit had to do. But we had voiced it over. So it was a weird thing of like, I'm supposed to say things again. But also because like I said, I was I was doing the senate race and doing pageant. I didn't really have time to like, remember what it was I kind of just like had to meld things when I had to talk and then everyone else had to remember when they were supposed to talk because it was voiceover so we didn't really have to remember it. I was like I edited the voiceover together and had to give
it you did and then you did it every year after I use that like the new standard I
did because I was there for the next year. So we made sure that the person did a voiceover recording because one of the things is at this pageant to tell them the gym that the sound to project enough. You can't hear anyone being that alley has like a theater background and obviously we're going to record it we're going to do it ahead of time and then I made sure that the other contestants didn't do except the third year I did it I did haven't helped write the script and like write a script and that was like I didn't fully sign up for this part of it but like after my big and we will forever feel so holding a grudge she did not win a rightfully deserve thing due to unfair rules of this pageant, which we will not go into. But
I wanted to really I just call it straight up favoritism. Well, it
was favoritism but also like the way that they they like right they like ranked scored. Was your thing here that you're that someone just handed them a blank check. Was that my no that was that that must have been somebody else that wasn't I think the next year we ended up winning the next year but I remember some or some girls person was just like I heard like gave a blank check of like, okay,
here you go, man.
But because Allah was wrongly not crowned, I wanted to make sure that the girl after her did it and then the next year when much smoother.
I mean, I had fun. I got to wear a nice dress. I got to sing in front of people. I hadn't done that in a while. So I was happy about
it. And now I feel like everyone dances, everyone dances or sayings. Most of Helens are pretty conventional, which is why I could never do it. Like I would be fine with the fundraising and the dressing and things from like, I don't have traditional talents.
I'm really waiting for someone to come out. They're like Miss Congeniality style, like in a little like, yeah, like something like that. Or like try to play the glasses like wearing like a full on costume or lights and batanes on fire
now it would be awesome. Yeah, they wouldn't let you do that in the gym. Probably not controlled flames. Yeah.
That was when we participated. But we also every year throw a philanthropy event and aquatic event, some might call it a pool party. We however call it a philanthropic aquatic event.
I call it a pool party. And I get in trouble every year when I say that. It's It's pretty. And in my own unbiased opinion. I think
ours was always the one that people look forward to. And my third year was run the best the first year it was at the new pool, or was it my second year? Oh god, I'm confused because you both graduated. My senior year it was at the new pool. Okay, so then the three years it was the new pool it was much better than the first year first year some of my memories of that it was at a smaller dinky pool was not fun. I remember going back and forth between the pool because I had to go help Allie wake up her team. She was a coach the first year so we had to check in and surprise surprise. Sometimes fraternity guys don't like to be up before I don't know. I knew I knew what to do. So they had to be there to check in to participate so I like jumped in her car and like went over to the house and she just don't I'm banging on all the doors like taking like waking them up physically and like dragging them to the car. You should have gotten like a squirt gun ready to like
prep them for the day.
I should have I was a little worried about like opening doors because I don't know like who sleeps like totally Commando. You know, your your current state of dress. I want to see things that I don't want to see.
There's things you can't unsee very true. That was also the year where I don't know who I was talking to. But I fell over a wall in front of like an entire fraternity. I don't know who I was talking to. But there was a little half Did you see or hear about it?
I don't know. But I remember you texting me because I had like a prime spot. I was in the second row behind the judges for the fraternity. serenades so I was really blocked in by everyone else who wanted to watch so I couldn't I couldn't get to you but you were texting me about it.
Yeah, I don't know who I was talking to, I think, oh, someone who told him a name. had a water gun and kept following and squirting people very obnoxiously. And we tried to get away I fell over this like half wall and like scraped my knee really badly. But that was a part of the hot fraternity. So that was kind of sad. Or some of the hotter fraternity meant those incidents
are always really awkward. I like totally tripped on a ledge walking in front of letters and went right into like fell like on the sidewalk and onto the grass, right like onto their blanket in front of their chairs. So I just like well on maybe shooting off the letters. I know that would have been really bad.
I don't think I've ever seen that happen.
I've seen some of them fall when they're trying to set them up. They don't seem to care as much as we do. Because I know any time ours would go down like someone's throwing themselves underneath it so it doesn't touch the ground.
Well I know like the big ones they've like the letters but follow but like I never saw anyone like Domino into them. Yeah, that was like my first event, our first aquatic event. What was what was your favorite part? Um, oh, I
think my favorite was always either the serenades or when they'd all like frantically start throwing coins in the jars for petty wars in the last 10 minutes and everyone's like screaming at each other and like trying to hold other people back and people are frantically Venmo going and trying to make change or someone's running in from the parking lot with this 10 ounce we are filled with her honey.
So going back to a serenade what what's the 30 what's entailed in sincerity?
Oh, okay. serenades are when fraternity men and women Everyone ready women everyone had to do in for Oh, okay. Yes. So within our aquatic event fraternity men and women had to take popular songs and essentially parody them and sing to us about how we were so awesome and fantastic. I mean, they have to do
they had to sing were their words that they use. I know the right bathroom for the bath.
I think they had they got like extra points if they use like certain words related to us or to the event or something like that favorite was definitely my very first one because I had that prime spot, particularly the men would hand out roses as they were doing it. So I got so many that day, I felt very special, even though it was just obligatory for them. It wasn't
to do with the event, but I would love when they would come into chapter meetings and sing songs and like hand out roses and stuff. Oh, that was the best part of meetings. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Would you like to elaborate on that? Have you cried? What was the song? It was the acoustic version of what makes you beautiful by one direction who was sick? There was a specific person that was singing right that like I wasn't in chapter with this happened, but I think it was. I think I think I remember exactly who it was. Oh, shoot. No. I don't know. I don't know. I don't
either. There there was but that's not that's not who I don't think that's that's who I'm thinking of. Anyways, I am a sucker for a good serenade. And if if it's if you've got a nice voice and you're wearing a nice suit and you've got a rose in your hand, I've done blubber I am putty in your hands. Now
when we post to this, we'll definitely have to link some of our favorite serenades from YouTube. Oh my God,
my favorite serenade? You know where I'm going with my favorite Saturday ever. I found on YouTube of this wonderful magical man singing is very cute at school. I found him he's now a verified country singer on tik tok and very gay, which was really disappointing cuz At first I was like, is this you like is this I like he looked familiar. And I was like, Why do you look familiar? Like I wouldn't. Why do I know a country singer? as like, Oh, you went to this school? Like were you in here? And so I stopped his instrument. Yes, I remember showing handles. I was like, Oh my god, and you're verified now and like super gay. He does the segment on his tik tok where he changes all of country songs with a word beard a queer. Oh my god. And I was like, oh, like I know he's just seems very delightful. I'm just sad. I will not marry this is how I had such an affinity for this fraternity that we didn't have an article so I could do they have
to say every thought then
really hot. Really, really odd. I've never even heard of that one. We exist because of them. Well, we'll cut it out. meditech Yeah. Yes, so fraternities Aries and then Penny wars alley Would you like to explain Penny wars and the strategies behind it?
It was a fundraising thing where basically I don't remember the point system it was like
one point like per dollar and then coins were always negative coins
were negative. So you would if you put dollars in your own you got positive points and if you put coins and other people's they lost points,
but if you did rolls or bricks, it did both So if you gave like us $10 rolled quarters, you would get all of that positive and the other team would get all that negative because then we didn't have to count them what they think is the point of that. I
think that might have been instituted later because they were showing up with those giant bricks and just dumping them in people's jars and then some poor soul in our 32 had to be the one to count all of it. Yeah, no,
it's like VP, VP, VP, finance, right would mean I don't know who No, it was not VP fighting for the sole purpose of I know, I think it was my senior year or our coin counter broke. So I got to go into a backroom and count Oh, I was the senior so I was not in any membership position, but I got pulled to go do this because you know, you're just so helpful. While 13 had to do all of that lovely work. We were just so beloved and adored by chapter
adore extra additional jobs whenever wherever
Do you have favorite philanthropic memory?
I did a my coach for the philanthropy that I had been in. I was the coach for his fraternity and in that event, and so he and I did a serenade did a did a song together as his talent. Oh, was
it frozen? Yes. Yeah, we
did like a lip sync. That wasn't a lip sync because we were actually singing but we were playing the song behind it with each other and acting it out and it was really fun is very cute. And yeah, there were there were water guns. There were water balloons. If I'm remembering correctly, people getting thrown in pools. Oh, yeah,
I know a lot of people would specifically like bring out their waterproof phone cases and would joke around with people and like accidentally bump into them and drop their phone and then freak out to freak the other person out.
Did I get you thrown in the pool? Or did you like not let that happen? I did not let that I tried to get you thrown in the pool.
No, I remember I think it was my big brother like had me like up in the air and was like ready to like jump in with me. And I was like Absolutely not. Well, my
your third year your senior year. I almost got you thrown in the pool again. Oh, God. Well, you got it stopped. Okay. He was too scared of you.
I remember he did toss me up in the air while in the pool. Yeah, but he caught me. Yes, that was a very cute photo to Your welcome. Thank you. It was my idea. I know I don't have it though.
Ali. Just to round this off here. Do you have any advice for
girls, boys, anyone who's considering going great and navigating interacting with fraternity members. Find your people make sure that you're surrounded by people that you trust and that you know, have your back and you have their back. Have fun, but stay true to yourself and like it. And on that note, thank you for joining us today for this episode of in Omnia paratus.
thank you so much for coming back again. Thank you for having me. We're just gonna keep having you back. Well, maybe we make this like a quarterly thing. All right, I'll just I'll live in the podcast. It's great. Excellent element and I'll do the rest when I can remember it. keeps changing they changed it from subscribe to follow. Oh, yeah, sorry. Follow us on
Apple, Instagram, Spotify, Google Play wherever you get your podcast. We hope you enjoy wherever this is in our Greek life series and dm us with any other questions you might have. And we'll make sure to post those 30 probably give us a goodbye. Adios Ciao for now.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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