Episode 55: Our First Pancake: Season 1 Finale

Jae 0:00

I pledge myself to the pod loyal I'll always be a P to start a d at the end and an O sitting in between

Welcome back to and Omnia products for the last time ever in existence. I am Jae.

Angela 0:20

And I'm Angela

also known as AVO. Well Oh, yes, that's that's totally amazing. I was waiting for a Jae like the letter. And this is why for the last time in existence, you will be hearing us introduce ourselves this

Jae 0:34

way. Unless we come up with some cute like ideas. I don't know, I dropped our intro real quick, because I got annoyed saying it listeners. This is going to be the final episode of season one. We made it and season one doesn't necessarily mean that you did one episode a week for an entire year. That was just my personal mandate.

Angela 0:53

And we did it.

Jae 0:54

Yes, we did. We came we conquered. We're tired. Yes.

Angela 0:58

We're about to take a much needed holiday break.

Jae 1:00

I don't know Angela says she's some sort of some a plan for me. So I don't know how much of a break I'll be getting.

Angela 1:06

Well, I'm presenting to you. All you have to do is say yea or nay. We'll see how this goes. Because you never can just say yay or nay

Jae 1:12

because you're so good at it. True. Very true. That's why our episodes can't be under an hour. We're trying we're really trying.

Angela 1:18

Who knows maybe Season Two will bring some minisodes 20 Minutes or Less takes us 20 minutes to get going. Not all the time. Most of the time. 90% of the time depends on the topic.

Jae 1:27

I've edited 55 days. 20 minutes for us to get started. But

Angela 1:31

I think it's actually hold on. I got this but we're here. We did it. This is our last one of the season. And I think it's totally fitting that on the coffee table. Here we have the Diebenkorn Oh, other than the flashlight. I was thinking of that the whole time while we were sitting here earlier like what episode is it from? I can hear it so clearly. Oh, I can't tell you the episode name. But I can tell you Harvard Darren said it Darrin Springsteen.

Jae 1:55

So I think this is a very good place to start our name and our internal conflict and things originally when choosing it and how we plan on going forward with

Angela 2:05

it. Our initial intentions versus our new intentions.

Jae 2:09

We had a different name for this podcast originally, and so did 30 million other podcasts that already had it. So we're like, huh, let's change it. And we were in the middle of a Gilmore Girls rewatching love the name one of my favorite episodes, beloved, what it stood for because it was a very succinct way of kind of what we were trying to do trying to start something be ready to start something and then knowing deep down you're never ready. So just like go forth and conquer but we were struggling with we knew that we got the name from Gilmore Girls, one of our favorite shows that we bonded over but we weren't trying to be a Gilmore Girls podcast. So we were always conflicted with how much Gilmore do we do too much not enough. And what I came to the conclusion of is that in the natural way I speak and the way I throw in references is very Gilmore s, and it is where the name came from. But I don't want this show Gilmore centric. There are a bunch of fun Gomer tech talkers and go more podcast. But like that's not really what I wanted to and kind of my goal when starting this. So I think what kind of has come about for me is like oh, no, like the homage to the show is in the name because it's what started this is what kind of got our friendship started. And in the style of we throw in a ton of pop culture references, literary references, music references without needing to mention the show, because just by nature of how we banter and talk hop culture is thrown in and made analogies to comparisons and commentary on

Angela 3:32

exactly. So we will be forever Gilmore Girls inspired but we want to make sure that we are doing the most that we can with this platform to be the best that we can.

Jae 3:42

And that doesn't mean couldn't be Gilmore focused. It's just not what our intentions are.

Angela 3:48

Exactly. So I mean, stay with us for season two. And listen in for more of our Gilmore Girls references, we've got them coming. But for today, we're taking a little bit of a divergence. And we actually have a bit of our own a year and a life hype retrospective

Jae 4:03

here here. I have a funny story to start out with. I went horseback riding for the first time a few days ago with family and we took some nieces, Cousins, Young kids in the family. They're 10 and 14, or 10 and 13 respectively, I believe and it was like their first time getting to go and at the end of it. The younger sister was telling me and my own who went Oh, yeah, like my older sister said I can't have a boyfriend like she's really gonna check it like and her Elsa Yeah, I'm gonna make sure like he's good enough I can hear every day. So I asked the younger one well, like you think you're ready to date and then she guy? What is dating mean to you? And she's like, Well, he'll do tick tock dances with me and by the Hot Cheetos. Oh my god, which I think are two valid things that can happen while dating. That is so great. I think that's a completely valid answer for what you should expect out

Angela 4:47

of a partner. It truly is. And I think it also just goes to show the evolution from what dating looked like when we were 10 when it just meant that someone came up to you and was like, Hey, are we dating and you'd say yeah, And then you wouldn't speak to them again for three days and then you'd break up

Jae 5:03

late bloomer over here. I'll believe that's the experience a lot of children had.

Angela 5:07

Well, I never did this myself personally, but I did witness a lot of schoolyard breakups.

Jae 5:11

Okay, yeah, it was definitely think people just go over on Hi, do you want to date and then they go, what do you do? Well, we lunch together do you have? No,

Angela 5:17

no, it's just literally saying Do we date but now they're gonna film tic TOCs together. I love that for them. They could be many influencer couples that is horrendously terrifying. But I do think that might be the intention of where this comes from. In that case,

Jae 5:31

well, completely, but that's terrifying. I don't know. How does your partner do with tick tock dances and Hot Cheetos? Where does he rank on the scale? Oh,

Angela 5:39

he loves hot Cheetos. No, it's

Jae 5:41

not a it's not does he eat hot Cheetos? Is the seat provide the hachita?

Angela 5:46

He does. Oh, I think he tries to provide the Hot Cheetos. But he usually ends up eating them before I get there. And then we have to go get more. So he is good about thinking of me in that way. And he is good about recognizing when he has started something without me. But we're working on the middle part where he gets it and then holds on to it until I get there.

Jae 6:05

I don't think he would pass the vibe check of the 10 year old who wants to dance and have hot Cheetos purchased for her?

Angela 6:12

Oh, probably not. Although I did get him to dance. And he told me that like that would never ever in any world happen. And then I think he danced more than I did Outside Lands. So yeah, give and take give and take. I don't know, I think that brings us into where we wanted to start here. This is our podcast, personal fessional familial wrap up of our year and everything that we've experienced learned.

Jae 6:35

Did your family change this year? No.

Angela 6:38

But I mean, you know, they just they're my best friends guys. Like. Yeah, because I think we've been pretty serious about this as our podcast. This is something we want to grow. We'd love to turn this into a future. I don't want to say business because it is just our passion project. But we'd like to think that like we could translate like our passion project into our full time professional passion as

Jae 7:03

any good Millennials millennial and Gen Z are tells you there's no such thing as a hobby because you can monetize it. And what is anything in life without monetizing it? Well, I

Angela 7:11

like to think we're not just in it for the money. But if anyone does want to sponsor us and send over some snacks, I wouldn't say no

Jae 7:19

Dyson Hello, Disney Marvel.

Angela 7:22

Could we get a walk on? Wait, we've actually done a lot of plugs. So you're gonna

Jae 7:27

walk ons in the back? I don't know where you're going with that.

Angela 7:32

No. Oh, but actually, oh, this is gonna bug me now because I there was something being filled that they were shooting B roll and literally like I can tell you from the signage and everything and what was going on? I was right out of frame. I was almost in a movie. Cool story, bro. Yeah, I

Jae 7:50

can't remember which one at this moment concussion story.

Angela 7:53

Sorry, my life this year, my concussion has ruined my memory forever. And now I can no longer say that I have a perfect memory and perfect auditory and visual recall.

Jae 8:04

I truly believe that you believe you could say those things before the concussion?

Angela 8:09

Okay, maybe not perfect. But like 95%. It was really on it. And then I believe that you believe that? So yeah, back in April, many months ago. You guys have been hearing about this concussion all year long. But it seriously rocked me. I think for about a good three weeks I was in a brain fog. And then it's only been within the past maybe two months that I haven't had everyday memory slips

Jae 8:32

and imagine me and the listeners having to hear about it every week, since April.

Angela 8:37

Because I keep forgetting. Have I told you about my concussion? I don't know. Do we? Do we want to give this a semblance of structure? Should we start with one and then go to another because frankly, I feel like they're all connected. So we could jump back and forth. But will we confuse ourselves Speak for yourself. But my concussion was something that affected everything, everything. And I think it was also the impetus towards my finding a new job this

Jae 9:01

year. Oh, they're gonna say finding a relationship.

Angela 9:05

No, although Oh, concussion was pretty relationship. Yes, yeah. Wow,

Jae 9:10

I had to work through my concussion as any good corporate America person.

Angela 9:14

And for those of you out there who have never experienced a concussion yourself for the first two to three weeks after you're actually not supposed to really do anything. You shouldn't attempt to learn anything new. You shouldn't be looking at screens, you should be taking a lot of naps, hydrating very well. And just with the timing of my concussion, it was right before this really big work meeting that again, in our lovely new pandemic lifestyle we were all trying to work on remotely. So I was staring at my computer all day for 10 hours a day. Good times, rough times. But yeah, that was just the impetus like something needs to change in my life. I need more of a balance. I need to be able to step away and know that it's not going to just continue to pile up into something that wakes me up at 5am with anxiety attacks yeah so I guess just like my dislocated kneecap of 2019 the concussion really shaped my life in 2021 So Jay What was your life shaping experience this year getting

Jae 10:13

vaccinated true that I've been on for airplanes

Angela 10:17

any favorite trips favorite moment places you have to squeeze in before the end of 2021?

Jae 10:22

No, because now we're also in flu season thankfully colder viruses spread keep your mask on get boosted get your food very

Angela 10:27

true. I know but you are now you are now fully boosted.

Jae 10:30

I am fully boost. Flu shot.

Angela 10:32

There you go. You are empowered. I get my booster in two weeks.

Jae 10:36

Do you have it scheduled? Yeah, I went to LA which we did a episode about, which is very fun visiting friends before they decided to move back to New York. And then we went back down for Disneyland.

Angela 10:47

We need to go back to Disneyland.

Jae 10:49

I mean soon but like I don't need to go before 2021 ends.

Angela 10:53

But Christmas decorations.

Jae 10:55

Some of those only in the haunted

Angela 10:57

mansion. Well, no. But look, the shops had Christmas. Oh, that's true.

Jae 11:01

And then bad supply chain issues. That's another thing that form 2021 supply chain issues.

Angela 11:05

Oh my Lord,

Jae 11:06

the boat that got stuck. And now the California pier.

Angela 11:10

Okay, but frankly, haven't we just been having weird port issues?

Jae 11:15

We could but now all of a sudden we care about them?

Angela 11:17

I don't know. Have you done any of your Christmas shopping? I

Jae 11:19

don't plan on buying anyone gifts this year? Yeah. Problem DIY year.

Angela 11:23

I actually just got a hot chocolate bomb mold.

Jae 11:26

If you would like to use that. I told you I have one. Oh, okay, connection.

Angela 11:29

There we go. Since we're in our podcast retrospective, we need to talk about the podcast what has been I know we did all of our favorite episodes already. But what do you think is the best lesson you've learned from podcasting? So far? I can talk about anything. You can talk about anything,

Jae 11:45

that'd probably be the best. And then I think just doing this now for a year and having some things just assemble and sing one. We're talking about this in like so we're starting a podcast back in February when we thought we knew anything spoiler or Nope, there's a lot involved. It can be very simple, but it also can be very elaborate and more somewhere in the middle of those two, where it's like we have the website, which we never promoted and finished, which will be by season two, Angela has a lot of work to do on that. And yeah, there's just a lot of parts. You can make a lot of parts if you want them, but you also can do it very simply. But we wanted to do it a little bit more as possible a monetization effort to have some sort of semblance of something.

Angela 12:22

And I think also just to make it as enjoyable and beneficial for everyone involved

Jae 12:27

because it's not our job.

Angela 12:29

Well no it is but I think that's why like we're somewhere in the middle of like super basic setup to elaborate setup.

Jae 12:34

Oh, yes. I think whenever you start something new it kind of dominoes for you to start a bunch of new things because like I started the podcast, oh, I watched the Marvel movies I read Gatsby like it's an excuse to do things that you might not have the intrinsic motivation for but like oh for the podcast, Angela go jump off a bridge

Angela 12:52

you know, we have attempted a lot of things in the name of the podcast this

Jae 12:56

year. One thing that there is no documentation of the Angela got to try for the podcasts

Angela 13:01

finally get to talk about it. Oh my god. So this year J went on she went on a date one of the dates that was not covered in data THON and I actually because I had read knowledge of this about two weeks I had two weeks to plan how to follow her and figure out what was going on in her dating life because I have not yet met this person. I was very very intrigued but it was a date Yes, it was a date that I kind of ended up crashing because I thought I was doing really well I had the time the location where you were going to be but yeah, I knew Jay was on her way we had done a recording earlier that day so you know I totally pumped her for information about you know what she was going to wear where she'd be waiting how long she expected to be there you know little subtle things like that and I like went out changed my clothes I full commitment, full commitment I bought different shoes because you saw the shoes that I had been wearing the day before and I only had the one pair with me changed my shoes bought a hat some sunglasses because of course I didn't think to pack these things with my concussion brain so went out was at Target was on my way to the Ferry Building ready to kind of like set myself up behind a newspaper and wait for you and then of course I get the call from you wanting to like talk and kill time before your date started and of course you're gonna hear the same background noises because I'm in the exact same place as you so I had to reveal Myself hang out for a little bit then your date did commence I lever a little bit and then I actually you know did the most stalkerish thing ever and used your location from your phone to find you again. In the farmers market

Jae 14:45

want to tell the best part? Oh no, I was going with a corndog Oh,

Angela 14:49

yes. So once I rediscovered J of course because I'm wearing these sunglasses that are not my regular prescription sunglasses and I'm trying to follow her around. I can't actually see any thing very well. So at one point she was walking around with a popsicle that I assumed was a corn dog. And I then got very distracted trying to find corn dog stand.

Jae 15:08

And how long did you take to try to find a corn dog?

Angela 15:11

Probably about 20 minutes, I walked all the way around twice, because I was so sure that I would find it immediately, because I was looking for other people with corndogs. And I couldn't find them. You know, it was it was a very interesting experience. I almost bumped into you a few times.

Jae 15:26

Yeah, new things for the pot in the name of the podcast.

Angela 15:30

I know, I actually went on Bumble in the name of the podcast because I was ready to just go out there and do a documented bad date series. And then that didn't work out because I had a good date.

Jae 15:40

Well, even more than that, you have sorts. We're looking forward to doing some kind of own data THON thing dating multiple people open to things.

Angela 15:49

Yeah. Because similarly to you, like I've never really dated, I've had relationships and very loyal like Gilmore, like in that way that I have relationships, not dates. And I was trying to treat that as much like a true dating process and be casual dating girl, like, meet someone for coffee, and then move on. And I think that happened for like four weeks. And then I like had my one good date. And I tried to keep it going. But then like, once you've established the good versus the bad dates, you don't really want to try to entertain any more of the bad dates. That's fair. I also just have very little patience in general. So that wasn't gonna work out very long.

Jae 16:30

I think so it's like a mindset thing of like, good dates versus bad dates, versus like, oh, wow, that's so great. For a good day, I can't wait to find someone else. I can also have a good date with I'm not saying like my thing if you want someone to stop dating them or to decide to not get into a relationship, but it's also like a mindset thing of like, Oh, I'm so excited. Like, that was such a good day. I'm so excited that I know, I can have such a good day after like not dating for a while and then find more people who also I can have that experience with.

Angela 16:57

I agree. And I think like I'm not saying necessarily, this is something I'm going to do. But I do know that it's open your relationship. It's not uncommon for a couples to open their relationship or a period of time after they have been dating to see kind of like as their test. Yeah, to see if they're having just as much fun with another person or if they want to go back to each other.

Jae 17:18

I can't see you letting that last for a second. Yeah, probably not.

Angela 17:21

But I don't know, who knows maybe in the name of the podcast. I'm just kidding.

Jae 17:25

No. Yeah, I mean, I think this is the first time though you genuinely were open to the possibility of multiple date versus finding one person Oh, I like to date that's all I'm gonna do. Like you did stay on dating us for longer than you ever have before. After finding someone you kind of were into what do you think was good for you? Because I think one of the things Angela attaches very quickly to people. And I think the whole reason why I was like stay on app still talk to other people is a reminder that there are others out there. This is not the end all be all like someone else might enjoy talking to you.

Angela 17:55

I think it was good for me. I think that's a little bit more set in my mind now that I can stay with that. And I'm not terrified that this is the end this is the last choice that I will ever make. And it has to be perfect and has

Jae 18:09

to be him. I think you're also this time around and I'm not saying there are many ways to view dating things but I think this time around, you're not as pre planning like and I'm not saying you ever does shrimp it's like a wedding. A future I think like yeah, you've made plans like things you'd like to do. But it's not like I'm planning my life with you and already trying to factor you into my life in ways I think you have in the past.

Angela 18:31

I agree. I think that I set like a personal level of expectation for myself about when I needed to hit certain milestones, markers, plans. That was really hard for me to let go of and that really went out the window this year.

Jae 18:46

Eggs are drying up.

Angela 18:48

Fine. It's fine. I don't need them. Maybe I need them. I don't know. Okay, I've seen a lot of squishy babies this year. And I've never really been tempted to hold them but this year, I wouldn't mind holding them. Oh dear. Some of them are absolutely adorable. And then like we talked about for Halloween as well. You put the little clothes on them and their costumes everyday is dress up for them. Not that I would want to then cause unconscious trauma with too much dress up or anything like that. But I think it would be really cute

Jae 19:18

well according to tick tock you're pregnant so Oh, no,

Angela 19:21

we are we are we are not ready to house a human. We may not ever be ready to house a human in this body and that's okay. Because there are other options, surrogacy adoption foster rich Auntie life.

Jae 19:33

Yeah, three of those four options are becoming more and more and more problematic in society. That's an episode for season two. Do you need explanation?

Angela 19:41

No, I can kind of see where you're going with that. I don't want to help. I don't want to uphold any sort of problematic standard.

Jae 19:48

Well, the thing is like I mean, in short, no one adoption is not an alternative to not wanting to bear children of your own. And it's a it's adoption is not for people who can't have children who want children. and options for the knees and should be centered around the child in need. And then surrogacy and stuff I'm I mean, that's a little bit different. And monetarily, it's a bit different. But then it's also about the whole thing about like epigenetics and how the baby grows and fosters and all that a podcast for another

Angela 20:15

day. And that leaves a lot to learn. So that way I can participate, if called upon in the best way possible, called upon by Jesus. Oh, no, I was more like called upon by the children. I know in that way. It's not like, oh, like, I want something, I'm just going to go take a child like it has to be the right fit for you and the child. Like, I think that I'm the kind of person who would be good at opening their life, to welcome another person into my family and build for them that way,

Jae 20:44

fall back with us in three to five years, maybe eight, we'll see.

Angela 20:48

Well, a full update, I think I think this has been a trying year for us to start something new like this, like also us together, us together for us as partners. For us as individuals with unique lives. I think a lot has been going on for us and wasn't when we started, it wasn't. But I think this just goes to show there never is a perfect time to do anything. And no matter how much you plan and think you're ready, it's something will come at you. I don't want to say you're throwing a curveball, because neither of us are really into baseball. But I feel like we've been thrown a lot of curveballs this

Jae 21:25

year, but like us particularly or like us as a society, us particularly. Okay, I don't think we were particularly fit this year. No, I

Angela 21:33

don't think we were particularly fighty. But this is a new dynamic for our relationship, trying to figure out how to agree on a product, if you will, that we're putting out into the world, I would say art, but we're not particularly

Jae 21:47

rd here. By our own definition, though other people might. I think it's helped our communication on I was gonna say I think in general communication with each other, and in general has gotten better this year. I think a big thing for me is really listening. And knowing that agreeing, agreeing doesn't need to mean agreeing and listening are not synonymous. You don't have to agree with someone to hear their perspective and really, like understand that they have a perspective that's different than yours, because these episodes are so long. And because there's so much post production and pre production and like just things were fitting in, I think it's had to be a lot more like direct like this is just what needs to happen. And like shorter we're having you and I are both people who made a friendship over which we said trauma bonding, which we'll talk about next season. But I think now we're getting to a much healthier place of like, look, I don't need to understand everything I teach you. What do we need to do right now. And I think that's helped us a lot.

Angela 22:36

We approach every episode like from such different places. But I think knowing what the other person needs to like feel their best feels successful and feel like we're putting out something that we can both be proud of is something that we've we've done pretty well this year, we work much better than we live together. Oh, for sure. We could we could do Plex it but I don't think we we need individual boundaries, physical boundaries. And we need walls. So now that we're officially about to wrap, what are you looking forward to for season two,

Jae 23:05

I think just more conversations and more things, we can talk about an open that we've already started and established and just getting to be fulfilled creatively. For me as much as like it'd be funny if monetize this and we can make this something bigger. The thing for me is that I always go back to you. And I know I've said this in other episodes, like Who gave you permission, who gave you permission to do X, Y, and Z. And it's like I we decided to carve out a space on the internet for whoever chooses to listen, we gave ourselves permission. So the podcast as much as we like when listeners give feedback, or our friends texts us or we hear from them more, because I have something to say and I want to say and I want to know I'm doing the best I can to advocate for things such as vaccines, voting rights, voting that really matter in society personally, and as a whole. I think in season

Angela 23:50

two, I'm excited to fall back on to some of the topics that we've already visited and show what we've learned over the past year, ongoing conversations going and I agree like I think it's a good platform for us to just share what we know and what we've learned and then also share our opinions with people who may be like minded maybe not. It's how we all learn and grow by having these continued conversations and new perspectives exposed to us. And I think we're trying to do the best that we can in this and do our part to share with others.

Jae 24:22

I agree. I think by us being a co host a podcast people have heard us get into as you say spirited conversations, fights, spat world squabbles, whatever you want to call it. And I think we resolve them to some extent one because we know this is going on on the internet. And we think it's important to have some kind of resolution but worse comes to worse. It's a thing of like, I know Angela does that at the end. It's like I don't know what experience you went through to make you believe this thing whether I agree with it or not. But like I trust your sanity and that you have a you have good intention. So I'm going to believe that I don't agree with this and I wouldn't advocate for this and I don't want this But I think I'm it's not like you can't and you shouldn't dismiss someone else because you haven't lived in their shoes.

Angela 25:06

I think this year, we don't know if we necessarily learned a lot of new things, but it's just maybe there were some things that hadn't come up before that we really pushed on. Like, I know, the one that immediately comes to mind right now was like the use of the word American. Or like, every time I said, American, you heard radical right. And I was thinking more of past American immigrant dream.

Jae 25:29

Are we going to blame more of that? Just leave it as,

Angela 25:32

um, I don't know. I guess I'm a little curious because I didn't ask this originally. But did you think I was always leaning more a little bit radical right? Or?

Jae 25:42

I mean, I don't think you can lean radical right. I wouldn't be surprised if certain things were more conservative centrist being that you would grew up in Catholic school and that that's not a synonymous thing. But it's a what a lot of schools push for who are that and then having like a lot of immigrant families can go one of two ways a lot of times some are really that and then also just use the verbiage of terms like American like to expand on that point just a bit. The only people I've really grew up in the bear herd proud to be American are the SEC schools Alabama, the South, the American flag, God bless America, and then unfortunately, even got even more corrupted by the Maga Trump people. That's the only real term of American pride I have in my realm and hat until an angelic abusing the word. I'm like, not like in a bad way. But it's like, unlike my family, which means from moderate Democrat to super progressive, you have people who are more progressive, but you also have people in your family who are more conservative. And I don't know how much if you were more conservative than switch because you learned or because you are like politics, a lot of families aren't super politically involved or talk about politics. So I just wouldn't necessarily know.

Angela 26:52

Well, this is a conversation I am really glad that we had this year because I'm glad that that cleared that all up. Because in from my perspective, I had always grown up with the word American used around me to describe your sense of feeling at home in where you were in not necessarily being super tied to your family's like original country of origin. And like their cultural practices and beliefs. It was more from my perspective, the way that it had always been used around me American was indicative of something a little bit more progressive in terms of like cultural values. So two very different things for us. But

Jae 27:30

I'm sure depending on who we ask on the street, if you ask them, like what does it mean to be an American? You could get answered depending on the race of the person, the gender, the generation they're from.

Angela 27:39

Oh, yeah. And I think it's one of those things that I hadn't necessarily considered before because I had typically like you like, not a word that I really heard used a lot, and then only hearing it within such a, like, strict context. I don't necessarily think I would have thought of it another way. Because if someone were to, like, approach me and be like, Are you American, I'd say yeah, but if someone came up to me was like, Maruka, bro, I'd be like, Nah, my really bad. Yep, yep.

Jae 28:07

What is one thing you worried about me non podcast related and vice versa, non podcast related, I mean, or kind of, like, come up through the podcast. But it's not like, oh, when we when we sit and record, it has like benefits. I don't think I learned this. But I think we I don't want to say this is about me, because it's mostly about you. But it's kind of about the way you and I interact. But I think to an extent something that I realized which in the long run is going to benefit you and benefit our friendship is like, I can't want advocate hype you up more than you're willing to yourself interesting. Because like, for instance, like in the past, if you were like, I'm just not going to come tonight, like I don't my hair's it's the wrong wash day, or maybe, but no, like, I won't see you like you have to come like it doesn't matter. I really would try to like, do it because it was a thing of like, no, like, I know, she wants to come but she felt my thing is like, I can't want you to be present in a situation more than you do. And I felt like in the past, again, not making this up me. But in the past, if I didn't do it, you would take that as a sign of like, oh, well, they don't care if I'm there or not. It's like, well, no, I tried really hard to make sure you knew you were wanted, but at the same time, it's like why am I wanting her to show up more than she wants to show even if she doesn't want to show up? If she's deciding to stop herself from showing up? Why am I doing more to do it?

Angela 29:20

No, I can see that because I think it's not for me at least I know I have a hard time saying no. So then a lot of times I feel like I'm putting myself in situations where I don't feel my best and when I don't feel my best. I know as we've talked about my face shows everything everyone is going to know when I get there and then I don't want to make it awkward and be like, oh, I need a ton of attention. I need you to make me feel better. So in one way that's been really good for us because I think it's helped both of us respect those boundaries a little bit more. But I know like for me as well. It's like I need to be okay with hearing like Okay, see you later and not hearing exactly what I want to hear. Okay. I wish you would come, but I bet I'll see you later. I'm like something like still like validating it. Because it's like, like, I know, essentially what I'm saying is being valued. And that's also something in myself where I need to realize that just because I'm saying no, that doesn't mean that I'm letting anybody down.

Jae 30:16

Yeah, I think there's some situation for you did want boundaries and say no, but at the same time, sometimes when you're like, social anxiety, or anxiety in general, and you're you need the validation to hear like, oh, so and so like, Mary Poppins wants to see you. I don't know why that's okay. And the thing is, like, I can tell you, Mary Poppins wants to see you and that you should come because she wants to meet you and give you candy. But I'm the reason you're going, that's not a good reason for you to go. So it's like, if you miss out on the chance to like, ever missed Meet Mary Poppins and like that sounds but it's like, that's your lesson and your correction to make later rather than me or someone else dragging you on, you're going to regret this. So we're going to do this. And we're, we're leading you in a direction that you either aren't ready for that you don't want to go in because in the past, it's like, well, like when we do say, See you later you're Oh, no, I'm coming. It's like, well, you just didn't see we just said we're not like attacking thing. So you later but because it's not the full validation you wanted, you would then interpret or decide that more was behind it than necessarily was depending on who it was coming from?

Angela 31:15

Well, I think also like, it's really, it's hard sometimes when I feel like I'm being clear. And then there are other people who are still like really pushing like, Oh, if we want to see we want to come it's like you could do this, or you could do that. Or we could try to do this. And then you could do that. So I think that not even necessarily with us, because we've been a lot better about that. But because I'm still hearing it from so many other places. And that still drives up my anxiety. And even though like once I say I'm sorry, like, I really can't do this, or like I'm going to be late or something like I think I should just stay or skip because like I don't want to hold anything up. That's really hard for me, because even though I'm trying my best in one situation, I might still be flailing in another which then just rolls on into everything else. When I'm at work, and I'm trying to leave and then someone asks me if I can stay an extra 20 minutes and help them with something. And then that means I'm now 20 minutes late to dinner and our dinner reservation is like at a set time. And then I'm like texting everyone like hey, like I can't come like just go without me. And they're like, Well, no, like you said you were gonna come so we're gonna make them wait for you. And no, because I feel like I can't say no, in this other situation. I'm now saying no to everything. 2022 Yeah, I've got a lot to work on, which hopefully will be visible with my new job. And

Jae 32:35

I think something for me that is not exactly I mean, you self say what you've learned about me. But I think something that I realized is I have abandonment issues, attachment issues, go listen to various other podcasts for me to go into the into the depths of this, but I like took a ri Naga Rico, I took like an evaluation of all of my relationships and all of the fights. I've had all the people who I have in my life and like I haven't really had that much discourse with a lot of like my close friends that we haven't recovered from or haven't been able to get past and it's not frequent. So I'm like what I'm so afraid like, my friends aren't going to be understanding. It's like what in their track record have showed me they're not understanding of this or that they haven't done it themselves or anything. And it's not really there. So for me, I know a lot of it for me is personally made up. And then the other thing which I think has gotten a lot better with you particularly it's your communication like I'm running 20 minutes late work asked me to stay 20 minutes late, because before in your kind of rush to get everything done, there was the communication who's you're just going to do it real fast for work, and then do it because then if that's for me, what really used to cause the issues was like, just tell me so I know what's happening, or you will lie. Am I Am I looking for Jane Doe? Or did you get back on BART? Did you lose your phone like that was for me always where that string came from. But you've gotten a lot better this year. Like just saying sending good work is making me say it's like, okay, so if it's like a set reservation, like, Hey, do you want us to go on without you? Or do you want to say like, you get the choice back when the communication is set for?

Angela 33:53

I don't know if this is something that isn't necessarily brand new to our friendship, but I think this year I really learned it's like how much you're doing at once. Me? Yes. Okay. Because I know, in college, we went through a period where I was very, very confused was like, Do you ever study and you were like, yes, when you're not here? Uh huh. And I think I got the reminder this year, like there are a lot of things going on when I'm not with you. Yes, it's like we do generally talk a lot text a lot. We are in a lot of communication. And then I think sometimes because of that, like I forget all of the things that you're doing in the background, where it's like taking classes, working on podcasts, things, doing things with your family, Personal Workout journey this year. There are a lot of things going on that I feel like you constantly have running in the background. So good job, Jay.

Jae 34:42

That's what you learnt. Yeah, that's

Angela 34:43

kind of what I learned. I was like, You're a lot better at time management and prioritization than I am because I like can't say no, so I'm just constantly running from one thing to another but like you are actually able to make schedules

Jae 34:58

and keep them I'm more than happy to help Which is why I asked sometimes like the leading questions like oh, like you're doing this first like is that or how are you getting to the next place? Yeah, it's been really hard well it's like the little example which I mean I don't think you're gonna match we saw the eternal last weekend because we could tell how much you love you don't love our marvel not talk about the movie Angela was like oh, I have a brow appointment an hour before the movie starts in a different part of the city we were going to and I was like, how would you plan on getting there because it can be very tricky area and I was like okay, so this starts here and this starts here just like adding some of the building blocks to see the answer come about like oh, and then she's like, Oh, it's kind of cutting it close and like good job. Would you say she made it this time?

Angela 35:40

I did. I made it with like 20 minutes to spare. Yes. This time? Yes. This time.

Jae 35:44

Like asking the leading questions of it. Oh, like that's what the plan is you do do we How much time do we think that's gonna take? Yes,

Angela 35:51

like I don't want to say I have so much going on that I have no idea how to manage it but I'm just like are so many different things that I don't know. I don't know what gets taught billing because everything seems like it needs top billing.

Jae 36:04

Yeah, follow ups up being well, everything's getting taught billing is anything getting taught billing? No. Which means everything just isn't getting done.

Angela 36:11

I know. I am getting bottom Billy Joel Hall on the floor right now.

Jae 36:15

Most people right?

Angela 36:16

I am. Yes.

Jae 36:17

I think it's a thing of like knowing part of it. And something that I hope ooh, this will be a good not final question. But final kind of segue like what you hope for the other person for the next season of podcasting the next season of thing in life? No, like the Christians love to say like the next season of life we'll be entering I think for

Angela 36:33

you very mid summer. For me. What

Jae 36:36

I hope for you is that you being able to put your self and your needs above everyone above a relationship above your friendships above your family above work, because I think part of the reason permission to speak freely. Yes. I feel like a lot of the reasons everything since a crow already and everything is spiraling is because like you don't prioritize it because you don't know what you prioritize and you don't know what you want. And so when you don't know what you want, how can anything into a list or anything we prioritize if you don't know what that list should be for yourself, I will

Angela 37:07

have to explore that theory. Because I feel like the assumption that I've been operating under for the past year is that I want everything so badly. I'm trying to make I'm trying to get it where I can.

Jae 37:19

So you're like Gretchen wieners like it's better to be in the plastic painting life and not be in the plastics at all. Yes, that's

Angela 37:24

actually my daily mantra, no cap. Good job, thank you.

Jae 37:28

But like then you're in again, young Tic Toc, then you're not exuding main character energy, you're just background, your background characters and everyone else's story.

Angela 37:37

I'm not even a background character and everyone else's story because as you heard earlier, I was just out of framing the B roll from whatever movie that I was watching like Three nights ago that I now can't remember the name of

Jae 37:47

well that to like one of the big shifts I have finally, I knew for a while that I needed to just start making in college just kind of when I got this one when I finally I figured only recently really become like i There are jokes about me being stage mom and squad mom and hyping everyone up and being there for everyone which I'm eight which I now realize I can still do. But before when I was doing it I was engrossing myself so, so much into every little syrup. Oh my God, tell me about your day. Tell me about your classes. Tell me about whatever you're going through. And really immersing myself and their experiences would help me avoid doing it myself. And I feel like you're not doing that. Exactly. But by you not picking and prioritizing. You're letting the world you're giving away your control to be like, well, like my stuff's too busy, like take an hour and drop everything and then be like, What do I want to do? I want to go to Disneyland. So what was going on? My therapist is like to think with the end in mind. Like what is the end of it? As of right now, the end of it for you is dead. Everything just spiraling around. So maybe think of some goals before death. And we can work backwards.

Angela 38:47

I think I'm going to take a break. And then I'm going to think of all of this siesta. Yes. Three weeks siesta. Thank God. Oh, wow. Good for you. Yeah. So excited. What

Jae 38:57

do we hope for me in 2022? In 2022,

Angela 39:01

I hope that you kind of similarly learn to give yourself a little bit more patience with myself or like patience for others with yourself. Because I feel like you do. So set a lot of schedules, goals, timelines, not necessarily like overall where you're running your whole life that way, but just like small things like your daily goals, weekly, six months from now of certain things that you're working on. And I feel like sometimes you put so much pressure on those that you're disrupting your daily quality of life. And I know this is something I've talked about, like previously on the podcast, but I think that it's what I hope you could take a little bit more of and like maybe give yourself a little bit more time where instead of trying to fit six months worth of work into six weeks, maybe you set a three month goal and then maybe a six week check in to see how that three months is feasible. And then maybe learn from that and say like hey, If it takes four months, five months, I'm still under six months. And so that's a personal win. But also at the same time if it needs to take six months to be the proper quality for for you to maintain your mental health for you to maintain physical health or just like social happiness, that's okay, too.

Jae 40:19

That's fair. I mean 22 Ladies gentleman's gays days, the girls the gays in the days I think the

Angela 40:25

phrase we'll have a lot more coming for you. I think these this conversation in general has probably spurred an episode or two for us to check in.

Jae 40:35

Yeah, but definitely like follow ups on for me I know I want to talk about the medical one Angeles to the period ones we'll check in with all of our amazing guests from season one. And we already have some guests planned for season two, one of my high school friends and there are a few episodes frankly, I think could be great with her between rancher breakups moving out of state autoimmune diseases sorters diseases.

Angela 40:57

Oh, syndromes.

Jae 41:00

What else? What do you have on our playlist?

Angela 41:02

Um, I have Okay, honestly, I'm really determined to get someone into our movie talks. People haven't been enjoying Marvel apparently people really didn't like Star Wars, but I mean, feed back into it. Okay, I heard I heard there was a lot of I could have done with some more explanation. So in season two, I will release my own 25th edition remastered edition of my Star Wars Episode. She. But I think that there's a lot that we could do in terms of building our own relatability because the whole purpose of this is that we had opinions, we had things to share. We had experiences that we felt could help educate other people, either professionally, socially, familiarly, whatever. And I think that we we have talked about a lot but there's also like some things we haven't been ready to talk about and haven't been as candid as we could to get to a place where people could really benefit from experience. I think that's something I'd like to think about, and Omnia paratus it goes there. The Degrassi says Yeah, well, I'll bring it will bring a Degrassi Episode

Jae 42:10

Oh my God if we only we could film like one of their trailers like the shark in the water or the to the circus.

Angela 42:14

Oh, I love that.

Jae 42:15

That's iconic. It really is that intro

Angela 42:18

I think it is. I think we should also we should bring back some books. Well, we'll bring better books I promise I will not try to sell you on like an old American Classic again. We'll do more money management that yeah, that was honestly very painful.

Jae 42:31

The books I've chosen to read on my own are much better. Okay. Yes,

Angela 42:34

they are. I will give you that but again, you just You said you wanted an old classic. I picked the classic

Jae 42:40

No, I know I was fine with gaspin talking about that you are a badass at making money.

Angela 42:44

Oh yeah, no, we're never touching those again.

Jae 42:47

Ever. Nope,

Angela 42:48

we're still really sad i had to buy it.

Jae 42:50

Well you actually did buy both because you won't mind for me for our oh that is true. 40 bucks wasted signing off for one last time this year kind of sort of possible. The possibilities are endless that for a cereal or for food chain. Oh Lucky Charms does not taste the rainbow that is to Skittles shoot.

Angela 43:10

Oh no Lucky Charms magically delicious will follow. And on that note thank you for listening to this episode of In Omnia paratus this season of an Omnia paratus Thank you for listening to this season of in Omnia paratus if you've been hanging in riding with us since day one. Your real one, we hope to see you back for season two. And if this is your first episode, don't we hope to see you back for season two, we're not going to be like Nellie and ask you to leave the stage

Jae 43:38

we have 54 episodes, this is your first for you to go back.

Angela 43:41

So grab your coffee bowls and don't forget to rate download and follow on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. If you liked us at all this season. Go ahead and drop us a rating there. Leave us a comment on our Instagram.

Jae 43:53

I

love that you are finally remembering the CTA I know.

Angela 43:57

Leave us a comment on our Instagram or slide into our DMS @inomniapod and let us know what you'd like to hear about

Jae 44:05

next season by a long farewell

Angela 44:09

avetizen say goodbye

Transcribed by https://otter.ai