Episode 41: The Frat Party Episode (Bro, Who Do You Know Here?)

Jae 0:00

I pledge myself to the pod. Loyal I'll always be a p to start a D at the end, and an O sitting in between.

Welcome back to it on the products. I'm Jae like the letter. I'm here with AVO. And for our lovely Greek life series, you might have heard a little laugh on the other end, we have our sister stelle

on today.

Stelle 0:26

Hello,

Angela 0:27

welcome stelle Thank you.

And we have an extra special super fun, probably incredibly embarrassing episode ready for you all. Today we are going to talk about our life in college with frat parties

Jae 0:40

don't get too excited. We are all currently looking and seeking new employment opportunities. Don't get too excited. And of course drinking in the United States is meant for those over 21. responsibly. Uber and Lyft prices have gone up but that just means to do it infrequently not to risk driving Of course. And if possible, get yourself a designated driver. Angela would be a great one. She just needs to get the driving part of the designated

button.

Angela 1:11

Oh, the driving is so scary.

Jae 1:13

I thought about driving when because because well as soon as they're like oh the bottom with is included. I'm like oh, like there goes my Uber I'm just kidding. So

So the way I decided we are going to share one of our favorite stories with you. I always tell this story because it's like as one of the few times in life where I always say I love I'm an extroverted person, but like to make friends I I make them when I need them. I don't make them just to have them which I'm trying to get better at. Like once I have my friend group I'm kind of like Okay, that's it like I'm good. So when I joined my sorority on the day, we got our bid cards, I like got my I love my sorority, I loved my bag, kind of Stalker and love my bag. And I was like, I want I want to be friends with her. I don't know where she is, but I wanna be friends with her. But when it came to the girls in my new member class, like I didn't know any of them, everyone I was in my group to my knowledge on their homes in different places, as we say. So I didn't know anyone crap. I have no friends. I'm excited to do this. So there were two girls standing on a wall. One of them I don't remember true. But then there was a cell and like a purple top and some hair that looked like it was died a few years ago. Definitely. Yeah. Weird experiment. I remember the color, but I like walked up to them. And I was like so like we're sisters now and fortunately fell on the other girl like responded back and started talking. So we ended up riding in the car together who our bid Day celebration and doing some things. Today's the day when you get your bid to join your organization. And from then on, we've realized we lived in the same dormitory and we would go to meetings together which were weekly, and we would hang out and another one of our sisters was in my hall who still became pretty close with so we all just kind of like bonded and like fortunately by miracle God, whatever you believe in, like I picked the person who was still into my life almost eight years later.

Stelle 2:59

Yay. And she's looking at Angela, but we all Yay. I'm just kidding. Likewise, though, it's so funny, or we'll have to get this window. It's so funny because you pick Stelle and I picked the YouTuber. Yeah, that's pretty odd, Yeah. Oh, that's right. Okay, well, I never knew your experience. Angela. So am I gonna be able to hear that too?

Angela 3:19

Oh, well, no, mine was mine was pretty similar to Jae like, I didn't know anyone. I don't think any I bonded with anyone from my group. So when I walked into that room in the hub where like, they have everyone like huddle, and like they put you together with your new member class. I just sat down and talk. She started talking to the first person, like on my right. And that turned out to be. And so when everyone was asking me later that day, like oh, who do you know, I'm like, I don't really know anyone. I was like, I met this girl and her roommate. And they were like, Oh, the YouTuber and I was like, what's that? Like, what are your dad about? You're like, who gather like She's famous. And I was like, oh, okay, I was like, and so then everyone just like kept talking was like, oh, like you bet this feels awkward. Now.

Jae 3:58

Someone asked me if I was when I went into think I'm assuming just like an Asian. Oh, sure. I'm like, Are you the who I know? Is that am I supposed to be here? back on topic. It's easy to Stelle story.

Angela 4:12

Yes. So this is okay. This is not necessarily my favorite story about yourself. But this is my most no it just because it comes to mind most frequently. And it seems so random. But it was my senior year chapter retreat. And you came by to like help moderate a discussion in my group and everyone has gotten Yeah, and everyone was super off topic. And we were almost like borderline in an argument and someone turned to you and how Excel clap and you did the from like the song. Oh, that's right. I know. Oh, man. I don't remember the name of it. I'll look it up later. But you know, it's like the song you hear it like every party. And yeah, you still clap and you did that? And then everyone heard it and they just laughed. And turned and started like laughing but also yelling at you and they're like no stelle like sorority clap.

Stelle 5:05

I think I remember that. Oh my god, like cuz you know when you're in like a group and it's Oh, yeah. Oh god, that's

Jae 5:13

Yeah, that's what we want or that's what we got.

Angela 5:15

No, that's what we wanted, but we got the it's like, I don't want to say a torque anthem, but it's something. Yeah, yeah, it's like a club claps and I went to that first I kind of remember that moment.

Last night,

yeah. So I and this happened just yesterday I was I didn't go to the gym. So I just put on some music and I was dancing around my kitchen and that song came on and I started clapping and I was like, Oh my god, stop. I just remember one of the videos I keep on my phone every time I transfer it. And it is this one of it was it was the one time I drove out our campus.

Jae 5:54

It was after block part as after Gala. It was after that. It is our lovely friend who's also as far as Amanda guiding the hallway backwards. rollin. Hello, I know that one. At the very end, Amanda starts going beep, beep, beep, keeps getting louder. And then like, at one point, it looks like you like fell asleep and the night you got to have like an exorcism where you like rose and then went back to hell.

Stelle 6:24

Yeah, that was a good one. And I remember I love that video, because I remember how long my hair look. So I would like my first thought was like, Oh my gosh, my hair is so long. And then my second thought is like, what am I doing going backwards?

Angela 6:37

hallway. It's okay. Still. I've also shared the story on here about how also after a block party, I think I got really drunk and wrapped myself in a balloon arch and started yelling that I was DNA.

Stelle 6:48

I feel like I heard that story one.

Angela 6:51

Oh, yeah, that one too, which I think I think everyone's also heard

Jae 6:55

someone else once came over after one of these events and fell asleep with the plastic bag on their face. So I have pictures of everyone everyone's

had their moment. True. Very true. Is there a story that either or both of us comes to mind for you?

Stelle 7:07

Well, I will say like something on my origin story, my big day. That's cool. So I'll give you a fun fact, though. I didn't see I almost didn't go through recruitment. If it wasn't for my roommate, who actually helped me to pay for the entrance fee. Oh, so nice. I had the money to pay for it. But I think at the time, you had to use a credit card or a debit card to register and I was a little freshman college newbie. first gen student I don't even know if I had a debit or credit at that point. I don't think I did. So she was like, oh, like, I'll just do the payment for you. You can pay me in cash. I was like, Sure. So thanks to that kind gesture. I was able to start my path with our family there. I was gonna as this close to say our family name. started our journey with Jay and with Angela and all that stuff. So shout out to her Was it the roommate whose wedding you just officiated or the one who dropped the one who joined with me? Okay, that's nice. Yeah, so that's pretty cool. And then from there, I don't even remember what shirt I was wearing on bid day. So thanks for and it was a lavender like spaghetti strap talk from what I can remember. That sounds that sounds like something I would wear. But yeah, anyways, so that's my little story. But okay, you can do another topic. And then I'll think of stories that come to mind about you guys. All right.

Angela 8:23

Well, I mean, just kind of piggybacking off of your memory. I guess our other question for everyone in this series is why did you decide to join a sorority?

Stelle 8:32

Oh, that's a loaded question. But I love it. So basically, like a lot of other people who have a lot of other people, but some people look into joining a sorority, I was looking for a home away from home. And as you all know, I'm from sunny San Diego, California. I'm from Chula Vista, but San Diego's the county that I'm from, and so not a lot of people actually went to our school. So I didn't really know that many people going there. And so the only people who I actually became friends with at first were my hall mates. And I was really lucky because I was praying the whole time. Like, oh, I hope I get some really cool roommates. My worst nightmare was getting a roommate who was scary or mean. So I didn't want that. So luckily, I didn't have that. But I still wanted to get involved on campus because I was really involved in high school. So I wanted to give it a try. And I think I've always kind of liked the Sorority Life. I saw it in movies, and I saw the cool letters. And I just was intrigued by that. So I wanted to check it out. And so I did and I know that our campus offered multicultural sororities too. And so I kind of wanted to look into that too. But during orientation, I walked What is it tabling? Right? Yeah, it's called? Yeah, so I walked around and I got to see some of the tables with during orientation. I met my first friend in college and she was also interested in joining a sorority and so her and I walked around at the tables to kind of get to see which ones we could join. And so through that, I met some of The Panhellenic sororities and so they were really cool. And I love their tables. And I love colors. And so that kind of brought me in. And I don't remember if we had a chance to see the other multicultural sororities, but I was just called to the Panhellenic ones for some reason. And so it was my friends. So we were just kind of, oh, let's do this together. And let's see, we end up in the same one. And that's how my so that's why I joined one and then I was able to meet you all lovely ladies and some other cool people and some other cool guys and fraternities. And I'm excited to talk about it today. So Whoo.

Jae 10:31

I feel like tabling got a lot of people, it was so weird because I did it. But I was I knew I was gonna do it. Like I mean I didn't This was maybe not the best decision on my part. I didn't realize I was listening to people when they table it. I was like, I don't really remember. But I'm gonna go through recruitment and just see how it is. Yeah, I realizing now being a little more unearned and educated and thoughtful and critical thinking and all these great things we should all be in 2021 realizing the fact that I had the 45 to $50 to pay to meet all these things in the weekend to do so. I didn't really wasn't a wasn't, it wasn't a second thought for me. Like it was just a gala pay for grooming, I didn't see where you went up. And I realized, like not everyone had that opportunity and then paying for through it. Because being that we didn't have houses, it wasn't the most expensive thing to do. But it was definitely, it was definitely the cost of if you were on like the basketball team or the cheer team or did a sport it costs money to do things. And it's one of those things of weighing that with other responsibilities and where you find it kind of where the stereotype of paying for friends comes up. But I would say like off off my head there about like seven or eight people who I'm still pretty close to this day with. I can't fully remember some going with seven, eight. And then if you take in the people who I'm very close to, and all the people, they're still close to around about 2030 people probably and I don't consider paying for friends because we're no longer paying. And I'm still friends with these people. So rate, I think it's kind of like what you pay for and how you do it. And I think for me when we started I think this was after you graduated, when we went all inclusive, it was the best because then it was like you pay. I was fortunate I paid annually. So like once I paid a follow up, I didn't have to be worried about right. Yeah. Ooh, fancy. That's really cool. Fancy you're very, very privileged is very generous family member. Yeah, who gave me the money, I understand the position I was in to get a Chuck Berry generously donated for me to get to say this organization with these people that I loved. And I know a lot of people work multiple jobs to afford the same thing. It's also it's about like choosing what organizations you want to join. Because there are other clubs that are on our campus that also have like monthly dues and things like that turn maybe not as expensive as ours were. But still, they had to pay like a quarterly fee. They had to pay for events and things like that. It's just they didn't do it within the confines of like a Greek organization being in the good, lovely Panhellenic system. We didn't have to pay to throw parties because we let that fall on the responsibility of the men of our campus. Which was always the greatest thing because you could go to any grocery store, drugstore, Kmart target whatever wherever any fraternity chose to shop on said given night ahead of their party, and you would see plenty of them lined up each holding two handles because apparently that's how they decided to divide their alcohol purchasing their organizations. And that was really funny. I actually had my mom for parents weekend and we had to go to the drugstore restocking with like toothpaste and Tylenol and all of that stuff. And we walked in and there was a fraternity there and who I knew most of the people and they were like,

Angela 13:40

hey, Angela, handle me It's my mother for university parents weekend or for Greek parents. University. Okay. Yeah, we had, we did I never asked my family to come down for anything.

Jae 13:54

Yeah, my mom really liked it. She got all the newsletters and everything. She's like, Oh, I want to go to this lecture and that like Christopher Hayden runs in your time. Oh, man at parties so so I believe you also were pretty avid fan of the show greet when it was on? Yes, I was. So being that you were a fan of the show as well as we were going into your first party like what did you think was gonna happen? What did you expect?

Stelle 14:23

So I guess like a lot of people you kind of come in with these preconceived notions of what the parties are going to be like, and I don't know about you all, but I didn't really party in high school. So absolutely that Yeah, so that was all new to me. In my head. I was like, Okay, I'm just gonna work hard in high school. And then when I get to college, I figure it out there. I think going in I was like, Oh, I'm gonna keep it easy, like make new friends meet new people. And then it just kind of like we hit the ground running.

Jae 14:51

Oh, no, I say when what like what what was this running experience you had, like set the scene for us. I think of our experiences as various similar but different because I joined as my second year. So I was already going to fraternity parties, but I wasn't necessarily invited. It was a thing of like maybe someone I knew had given an invitation. And so then I had an address, and then my other non Greek friends and I would then show up and beg to be let in, because we wanted to go to a party. Yeah, I think so. I similarly to sound didn't go out in high school at all, I didn't have my first full drink of alcohol until I started college. Likewise, of course, really, of course, I was 21. Allegedly, maybe my first year is when I had my first drink. I had for my senior year graduation, I had like a thing of champagne. But before that, no, I've tried sips of wine, but I never drank in high school, never went to a party in high school. So like go in college. It was like all two were brand new to me. And I think wall stuff. My first kind of hit the ground running was my first big concert, which was like three days into starting school. When I turn uncle Hall, as Angela mentioned, like she would she didn't join, she would still go to fraternity parties and stuff. But I think something that like is important to point out is especially on our campus, I was very naive to on any given day, someone affiliated non affiliated, there was a part. Yeah, yeah. So although the ones that were I don't know, I don't want to say more coveted, but what would you say? I mean, at least in the sense that I got in my first year being outside of the Greek system was that most of the parties that were thrown by other organizations or other groups of people were shut down very quickly, at least the fraternities, because the school that we went to, and the city that we were in, they weren't really into the Greek life system. So they were under very high scrutiny. They at least had a lot of different systems in place for like, oh, okay, like the cops are coming like everyone, like, turn off the music, be quiet, turn off the lights, if we need to be quiet for 15 minutes, chill, and then turn everything back on. And we can resume our party, okay, versus like other places where everyone's just like spilling out onto the field on and then those are like, shut down in 30 minutes. Okay, for turning to new highs, we're more strategic than some of the other organization, I can definitely appreciate that. Yeah. But because of that, it wasn't that they were the only ones doing it like college life like our campus that like I remember my first year Halloween, I decided to not go out I didn't want to do all my dorm mates and work. We're going to go out we're going to a party. 30 minutes later, all of them come with their sad, mopey, heads back into like, what are you doing here? Like, this party got shut down, and this one got shut down. And this one got shut down. Like, this is why I didn't waste my time getting ready, because I knew these were all gonna get shut down on Halloween.

Stelle 17:33

Wow, we have a very similar experience. But go ahead, Angela.

Angela 17:36

I was just gonna say that. I think also one of the things that makes people feel a little awkward about fraternity parties, at least the ones that we went to, it's like when you get to the door, and they ask Like, who do you know, here? Oh, I'm not sure I got a way of like keeping people out but also keeping their the amount of people in their house low so that their party is less likely to get out of control and shut down.

Stelle 17:59

Yeah, I remember my freshman year, the same thing happened j our whole Hall I was like, oh, we're gonna spend it together. We're gonna like party, whatever. And because myself and another individual were in Greek life, they were like, oh, take us to the parties, like, you know, you're gonna get us in. And we had to break it to them and say, unfortunately, we can't because like, there's too many of us, we don't really know who's in the house, like we don't even know where these parties are going on. So let's just try and find party through word of mouth. And I think kind of going back to what you were talking about Angela? It's like other orgs and other groups, people having parties, I think it was more like the environment and the people you're exposed to because I only knew of the Greek related parties. But I always I always heard other people say like, oh, no board club is having a party or XYZ club. And I'm like, how do you meet these people? Because I've never heard of them. I don't know who's in these clubs. How can we go to these parties that aren't Greek related, because, you know, they're, they're fun too. But I didn't really know anybody in those social circles. So it's kind of hard to branch out of that Greek party scene without knowing the other you know, other it

Angela 19:05

really is, especially because I feel like ours are probably the most well known. But then I've heard of other parties that sounded infinitely cooler from some of my friends who were in the science majors. And they were maybe in grad school and like they still did the parties and put together like these really elaborate events, but they kept it to the people that they know. So like their house would maybe have 30 people that they all knew really well and everyone will do everything that we did, but just in a more controlled environment.

Jae 19:35

That was no kickback.

Stelle 19:36

That's what I was gonna say. I was gonna say like, Oh, I noticed when it was like Hall mates or other people outside of Greek life, it'd be more of a kickback or whatever fun

Jae 19:45

realize and kind of the conversation we're having. I did feel a look back a naive or sense of safety. For me personally, being at a fraternity party knew it and knowing that I had people who I knew or at least no one was more than I felt like well One degree away from someone who they either knew respected, trusted, like I felt like a little bit of a sense of safe. Like we say in another episode, my big galleon Angeles Baker, Megan, were relatively popular among fraternity men. And if a if a guy knew one of them at least they were a lot more respectful to me. I don't know if you had that experience. Oh, no, definitely, there was this one guy who was super obsessed with my bag. And he went out of his way to then try to win her favor by being really nice and attentive to all levels. Wow. So like, he'd offer to, like, get her food. And if she'd say no, be like, Oh, well, do you think your littles want food? And so for me, we only did it once. But I think oh, man, we sent him to three different locations.

Stelle 20:48

Well, I mean that we have like, cuz you're only children? Yes. Yes. Yeah. So like, I have a big sister. So honestly, when I would go to school, and I would hear people say, Oh, you're so and so's little sister, aren't you? I'd be like hair flip. Yes, that's me. So I would say like the same translated to our bigs, and littles because it was nice to hear people be like, Oh, you're so and so's little like, Oh, you're so cool. Or like, Oh, so and so is really cool, like, welcome to whatever. But now I'm thinking sitting here talking to you both like, Oh, I hope I left a good impression for my little life. Or like, Oh, you're so and so's little. I liked her instead of like, oh, you're her little Ooh. So we'll see. Hopefully, we're in good graces.

Angela 21:32

I know, I think you're a little sick just by being there. And hopefully, sure, someone might know someone in one of these groups. But there was a naive thing of like, because our school was I think, like 10% Greek life, someone who I, someone in my organization would take it seriously, if something happened to me. So there's kind of like a unspoken like, heathered thread that like accountability would happen. Well, even if it did, we'll see. I didn't even think of it that way. But as far as a lot of outside parties went any place that was charging admission to someone who was like, oh, like, I don't like like they didn't put it No, like not like, I don't like a club. But like when you go to parties, and like people would cut like house parties and people would come who didn't go to UCR weren't from the area like they were like 35 or 40 years old. And they're like, Oh, sure, you can come in just give me five bucks. Like that didn't feel safe at all. Yeah, I think I only went I think I only went to fraternity parties. Oh, yeah. I was gonna say I feel like I know, parties that Yeah, they were typically the ones who would that would happen versus like, at least like bowling the Greek system like they would keep it to, like only our brothers are in here. And we're only letting in like girls that someone knows or know someone in here.

Stelle 22:48

So like the risk management in my brain to Jay kind of like, to piggyback what you were saying, in my head, it was more like, oh, if something happens, we can find the people accountable. Because there's the they have the charters, they have the you know, the members on a list or something. And like, I'm not trying to, you know, get anybody in trouble. But if something did happen, it used to be like, yeah, you could trace it back to Oh, songs, I saw this person. In my head. It was also a safety thing like, Oh, well, at least we know who these people are. Versus like you said, Angela, you're from another county. What are you doing at this party? You know, it's like, right.

Angela 23:24

Think about like, at all times, because even when sororities host parties, I think because we do it a lot more infrequently. We're maybe not as prepared for these things. Because I mean, I'm sure you guys remember there's one party that we threw ourselves that got very out of hand. I think I do remember is I there you were there. Yeah, I have not been there mentally, but I remember. Yeah, and it just wasn't even people in our party, but people outside who wanted to come into the party who didn't go to your school. Fall 15 Yeah, then I Oh, I remember that. Because Yeah, I was because I was busy. And I punched who tried to push Olivia down, but we Oh, this was before they were fast before. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, I do remember that. Okay, I remember cuz some guy was trying to like be creepy with us. And I was uh, yeah, I was with her. And we were like, yeah, we're gonna leave five. We're Oh, did you hear that? Or Yeah, I'm like, ran around three times.

Stelle 24:20

Wasn't this and you complete this out? This is where there was like a fight right? Like a fight? Yeah, no. Oh, yeah. So there were egg throwing.

Angela 24:28

Yeah, so there were basically got there were like a couple were standing outside. And then there were these guys like no affiliation to UCR or the Greek system, who were just like driving around the block and we're taunting them and then tried to tell him to leave and then they got out of the car and got into a fight on the doorstep and then all the Hell yeah, we were in the living room waiting to go home. And then like all hell broke loose and I could hear it and I went to the door and stole your big wig on the other side. And she's like, do not let Anyone out she's like, don't let them out and it was getting really bad. And then all the fraternity guys that were there started surging through she like, gotta protect my brothers and I grabbed a living room and I was like, do not let anyone here I've like put girls in front of the door in front of the windows, I sent them into the bedroom and I told them lock the door like don't let anyone in. But you can't let anyone out of the house and then fucking called the cops on us. Oh, that's right where they near were across the street so they could see what was happening. So they called the cops and they told them that there was a party going on. And people from the party like we're starting a fight. I totally forgot about that. I like put up but wow, I will Yeah, I think it just goes to show that we're we're not as prepared. So when things like that happen, we don't really know how to handle it. Oh, yeah, no, there was a reason that we left it up because the thing and then environment similar to that I can't escalate. There's no way a group of 20 something intoxicated, females will know how to appropriately handle that situation. Men don't either. However, they have some size that can help to de escalate things faster than they can with females. Well, I think that and just if someone decides that they actually want to swing on them, they can like go blow for blow versus like us. Like Jay for you and me style. You're taller than us. But like were they asked if someone's height, which is surprisingly you get hit in the face so often then, because you didn't think they'd reached out right? Well, that's what one of my co workers made this comment the other day. He's like, Yeah, he's like, you must catch a lot of elbows and like swinging Hey, oh, yeah, Uh huh. Yep, I didn't know. So circling back to this party, which will kind of this infamous party. One of the things is we first kind of party ish thing and because of course this didn't happen. Allegedly, whenever there was a new new member class, the group of sisters would come together just for sisters and for the new members to meet also to like help find littles and bigs and connect people would host a party, supposedly, allegedly, where drinking was completely optional. I remember walking out on the first people there with the stooge of me and she was like, Oh, do you want to come on? I'm I'm okay. Right now. She's okay. And then like, everyone's like, you can drink you don't have to drink I think I was never pushed when I didn't want to. And I think my a few times were, some of the guys might have been a little push here. And my mate was there she But no, like, she's all too. But that was like my first birth and it was really nice. And it was obviously very tame because it was all sisters and smaller.

Stelle 27:18

I wish we had more get togethers just as sisters is what I meant. Not more of I know you could cut this out. I didn't mean to say more of underage drinking parties. That's all. There we go. Especially like when you're new to college or even during It is nice to kind of have that girls night or just like, Okay, this is just us and like in a safe environment, especially because when you go out a lot, it was fun, but it can get really messy sometimes, too. It has to do with boys being there and like, Oh, I'm trying to dance or trying to kiss someone I'm trying to whatever and then when it's just sister I mean that could happen too. I guess if you're into that as well. But for the most part it's more like friendship and more bonding time and just being with each other so those times were fun and I think too like if you ever did get messy around sisters it wouldn't be like an embarrassing big mess. It would just be like oh this happens or like this happened to me last year Don't worry, so it was more like something to laugh off instead of oh my god did it so and so see me Oh, he's not gonna text me back.

Jae 28:18

I mean, I think it definitely goes with the whole thing of if men disappeared for a night What would women do go running with both earphones and walk take a walk at night go out at night? I think it's kind of feeds that narrative because we knew if you got if you were stuck at a sister's house worst thing happening you're sleeping on the floor not you're you could still but the likelihood of you getting assaulted is much lower. Yeah, we're getting taken advantage of just being in an all female environment even hypothetically if like we crashed and other sororities party I would say for the same thing because when it comes to being female we all share that experience

Stelle 28:51

yes

Jae 28:51

I'm differentiating dangers fraternity bid days and then fraternity regular parties because I think those are three different groups and true auctions date auctions. Oh, don't get me started on those getting but they feel like they are no they don't think it could be under party date auctions will go between frat parties and bid day then. Okay. Okay, so regular frat parties. Let's just do a rapid round robin like just named like one of the party themes. You remember attending? ABC dirty Disney surfboard. Oh, okay. And so for those of you who don't know, an ABC party isn't anything but closed party.

Stelle 29:30

Yes. My turn right. Yes. linger rave. That one always hurt my friend. Mangia rave. Oh, there we go laundry. lingerie not lingering. Oops. We didn't we really didn't get as into it on our campus as they do at other places. But the names they got pretty into so there's still a couple more I want to hear more.

I know I totally made a list. The list okay. How good parties tropic like the H O. 's and golf pros. Right. Oh, Leo's. Oh, see Oh, oops. What They took it off that other one, right? Yeah, I think they did call of booty the military theme beanies in bikinis, which was Oh, yeah,

like I

was pretty creative if I may say so. A great one. Was there ever like a sports theme? And mathletes There we go. Yeah. Oh, we have a cute picture with that theme j i

Angela 30:18

remember, we do

remember one time a fraternity through just just a straight up pajama party and people wore like one Z's or like they're like two piece sets. I don't know. I don't know what that was a call and they had a name for it.

Stelle 30:30

I will say though that because of those fraternity themed parties, I kind of want to throw birthday themed parties. Totally, it's been all over on Tick tock, but I think something deep down inside me is like Oh, just like back in college.

Angela 30:44

How many people loved Mamma mia parties like those are all they are. Okay. Do we see any on yours? Particularly that we missed in stoplight part I use did that also have to do with like how far you wanted to go with someone I never went to what is that? So as far as I understood it, and as far as the fraternity Facebook party pages when it was red means taken yellow means Oh, it's complicated. It's complicated. And green was single. I always wanted to go to one of those we're looking for. I've never I don't think I've ever been to one though. The one where we were cocktail dresses style. You took a picture with one of the men in the shower. So yeah, champagne showers girl, where's my memory? Because I do not remember we're listing party themes, but we're also calling out some of the names of parties that were given to us in college by the fraternities hosting them so they're not universally known as this but champagne showers is generally where you wear something kind of like semi formal like maybe you're wearing like a short dress. They only serve cocktails, like Yeah, but weirdly there was never any sparkling beverages they're guys walking around with champagne bottles, but they might be full of something else. And then anything that was like on a table or like passed for you were shocked Can I get a cause who

Stelle 31:59

who threw champagne showers Okay, who was the host that I took a picture with? Oh, what's my date to semi so that's fine. Yeah, yeah, okay, it was not I was thinking you had a picture with someone in the house that Oh, okay. I thought it was like when you said picture I was thinking of that picture of me at the surfboard or something. I was like No, I

Jae 32:19

No, no, no, no, no, that was Oh no, I'm speaking of things around the world. Oh, yeah. Around the World ones were good where I had my first hockey ball. Oh, you're right so that was a good one. I like that one the the paint parties or the white parties? I was just gonna say that next still and then Halloween there's a well known I mean, I'll I'll say what their name is a pie is a known as a Jewish fraternity. You don't have to be Jewish to join but it's in the IFC system, and at least on our campus, and a lot of them they like to do puns with their name. So they threw Jumanji, which was a jungle Diem party. Oh, that's really a Caesar for their toga party. I don't know if I've ever been to a Jumanji actually, to be honest, I've never got to go I was that the one went to was shut down in 30 minutes because when I got there, it was already really packed so we spent plenty of it in silence, like waiting for the cops to leave looks cute. So that's a matter so those are some of the lovely themed parties we got to go to I was okay not like in terms of hillar bride that Lindsay Lohan wasn't Mean Girls. But in terms of like dressing up for a party like I was so excited like I bought costumes like intentionally for parties and was so disappointed with like, oh, everyone just wears like shorts and crop tops or like oh, that's where I work wore the bikini that was that was a hearty I don't remember the theme was Yeah, I remember that. It was fake like it's hot. No, the one I went to with my bigs though. That was my second year there was that's where we met up with but I was so excited for themed parties. Like I wanted costumes. I wanted to like fully do it and embrace it and realize that no one else did. I was so like, Why give it a freaking name if I don't dress up? Well See, the thing is I feel like I don't know. I feel like you and I at least we have very different ideas about when we want to dress up. Like I was always really into Halloween and like wanting to plan out like 10 different Halloween costumes. And you were like, no, I dress up for costume parties. Thank you The end.

Stelle 34:12

Well, I think that's why I kind of want to make up for lost time with these birthday parties seeing parties also too because I have an adult paycheck so I can make it look good. Because I think in college you always kill the game j Of course. I was more like comfy because I was still kind of shy. So I would like wear a headband or whatever you gave me. I mean in terms of like,

Jae 34:33

Oh, hold on. I do need costume. Three of us. You are not the shy one. Okay, out of the three of us. I am the shyest Angela, we were all at our peak comfort level of socializing. Angela is more social than you were. But Angela was rarely asked that. Pete Yeah, I'm very selective about when I want to see

Stelle 34:55

Yeah, well, when we went out together, just me and Angela, we were princesses. We weren't good. We would call

Angela 35:00

ourselves princesses or whatever we were. We were the princesses. But they would charge other random creepy dudes to come in.

Stelle 35:07

I thought that too but no, anyways, anyways, no, but I think that's why I'm more excited like okay, now I can't I have amazon prime Well actually, you know, because Jeff Bezos is that just kidding. You could take that on. Oh, no. Okay, well, you know, like now I kind of know what fits my body and what I like and all that stuff. So I apologize to college j for going all the way

Jae 35:32

No, I literally wore heels she I don't need that this once I wear heels to a party though. That was terrible decision on my part. I would go for pain. biggest pain, like dirty Disney was my favorite. Actually. No, my favorite was the ABC parties because it everyone had to do something current ABC party. Yeah. Also, I still will always regret I've never been to it. I never got to go to a total party. Really. We owe Alan's a prize every time I bring this up. And the answer is always still no. Well, no, just because I Oh, well. No, because I remember everyone would always make their togas out of pillowcases. And I remember us putting your big in one before but now that I think about it, it was probably for an ABC party. Or no, I think it was an ABC party. She wore the pillowcase as her dress. Why did we go to the PC party? I think we did. I wore foil. It was really uncomfortable. No, I know. No. I wore a big plastic bubble bow for that one. But Ellie wasn't I think that was she graduated No. Like we we had like ABC socials and

Stelle 36:28

stuff. Oh, my first toga party was sophomore year and I invited my friends from high school and it was an interesting night to say the least. It was is pretty messy. We but we use like bedsheets as the toga for us. And so that was pretty cool. So I have some pictures from that night friend lost their phone. We went back to our apartment and then I freaked out, drove back I didn't drive back but we took an Uber back to the fraternity house. Luckily the DJ had it at their booth and I was able to take it back home with me but I was able to do that with the help of a sister so I went out with the sister and then I either two or three high school friends I don't remember was it Halloween that you lost her broke your phone? Oh yes my little Samsung baby phone No, no no written Okay,

Jae 37:17

there's this influencer youtuber Her name is Grace Helbig. She's known for comedy. She's raped another room. So she has a segment on her podcast where you tell a your worst like almost killing or shooting yourself in public story in three words or less or phrases. So in the spirit of that, since again, we're all looking for employment to some extent. Tell like one of your greatest fraternity night stories in three words or phrases or less. And this is specifically to night fraternity parties. Okay. Um, first one for me that comes to mind babe last beer pong. That'd be one of my favorite party stories. Oh,

Stelle 37:52

I just thought of one but go go go. No, it might not be NSFW. No, go Say it. I'll say trash action. I don't know. I think it's hard because I feel like we went to multiple parties multiple times a month, multiple times a week. So they're kind of just like, I think they're like glued together in my brain and

Angela 38:10

I go I just I just have a phrase. So what's your first one? You okay? Juan Carlos? I don't know which night we're hurt.

Oh, is that when he was puffing? It was one I think was he was that one he was having sex in the room? Oh no. Because I wasn't there for that I was more thinking when he was RM and he just kept walking around.

Are you okay? Are you okay?

Because he was so concerned that it would be his fault if something happened which it would be yeah okay times yeah times thank you and more than that, like night themes were fun because you got to dress up but like dangers were amazing. We're not there yet. You wanted to talk about auctions and talk about auction Wait, but I thought it went and night parties dangers auction no night parties auctions bid day dangers.

Stelle 38:54

I have a story for a bit day already. But okay, I'm ready for auctions to if you want. I think it's just important to touch on auctions. Because if you think about it, should we feel no, like patriarchy? No, I think auctions were the closest experience I've had to male stripper.

Jae 39:09

Yeah, right. It's like should we feel bad for them? Should we feel bad for ourselves? Like that's my take this as part of a greater empowerment thing where we all exercised our autonomy to enter this house where men would pick us up and grind us against a wall. Okay, okay, hold on. Hold up. Let's not make this on. Like we went to a de Boer house we did in a fraternity auction in the concept on paper is a night where for some either dues or for money for more parties or whatever or for a philanthropy towards similarly to like the male pattern or for an organization, fraternity men would dress up in suits kind of wine and schmooze with girls at the beginning to kind of get Jimmy well, then everyone would sit down and the men would be auctioned off to go on a date to cook dinner to go to the lobby. library to go to a movie to do something, and typically in their approach to raise their beds would treat it like a striptease, or like you were at a Chippendale show.

Stelle 40:09

Although I really liked the ones that were like eg where they would, you know, do their talent or do their little spiel and like call it a day that I was like, oh, there's so sweeties. But of course, when we had the opposite end of that, it was kind of like,

Jae 40:24

right, because like, we should have had the queen of docks on here. So your little Oh, yeah, you can save her friend. Because she she actually participated in one a data auction, I was an experience.

Stelle 40:39

I was close to winning a date auction once on this gentleman that I had fancied over which or what? The obvious one,

Jae 40:47

they did a date auction.

Stelle 40:48

Yeah, it was that. Oh, okay. But anyways, I don't think that was my first one. But that was the first one that actually bid on someone because I really liked this person. But luckily, my sisters who were with me kind of bid with me. So they were like, I think I had a cap of how much money I wanted to spend on him. And so I hit that cap, and they were like, no style, just go for it. Like I'll pay the other half don't. And so like it was multiple of them saying that and we had a pretty good rally going on, but the other girl just wanted it.

Jae 41:20

My first date auction is where I bought me and still have the lovely phone number of the person who tried to fund in my big spread, whose name I'm blanking on. Wow. so intense. Yeah, no, I

Stelle 41:30

feel like oh, wow, I haven't heard that name in

Jae 41:34

years for my first date auction. They held it up like an external event because it wasn't big enough for the house. So one of our sisters actually one of Angela's twins got the invite to the pre party tourism Angela wasn't there but I went with Angela's big and twin. Why were you there? I'm pretty sure I probably had an SI or something. Okay, I took her spot rifle and family. Unfortunately, it was such a lucky night where Angela's twin made some great made some great quality friends with this organization that me and Megan got to follow around and then we went to the actual auction of the club and I was like, Oh, this was like yeah, I think I would want to sit close to the front and they were like no like we're gonna go sit here cuz I didn't know what it was the young freshman I don't know. Why did you sit in the front? That was your first one. I don't even remember my first one anymore. Yeah, neither do we have that big picture of all wash. No, I've been before that

Stelle 42:30

that okay, that one might have been my first i think i think

Angela 42:34

i think date auctions overall is really fun to go with with your sisters because inevitably like there's someone who really wants to bid on someone there's the bidding war might ensue.

Jae 42:44

I don't think if I was dating for her dirty guy. I would have been on him I'd let some other fool spend their money. Angeles like no yeah, no one can see like the horrified look on my face right now. But no way in hell would

Angela 42:56

I let no one ever buy someone that I was interested in like to the point where we were dating and let alone We're in a relationship I think that would pass drama to right like it was floated to me once like oh, like we might have a date auction like blah blah blah like I'm gonna be in it and I'm like, No, you are fucking not why can't you put on hold because I didn't want to

Stelle 43:21

but I remember there being drama because like let's say a girl did have a boyfriend and then like someone else was bidding on him and like shoot a girl dirty looks or they'd be like Um, excuse me that's my boyfriend or something like that. Like I remember that being a thing

Angela 43:33

it on your boyfriend or be okay with him or be okay with someone out bidding you I would bid on him if I would get him. I was like, we've also been to date auctions where the price gets up to like 400 $500 or the children. Sure, I mean, fair fair for the children but also like you're in a relationship or dating someone like that seems very drastic that you would then shell out that money for them. It's like at that point, I will make you a private donation and do not participate. prive Angela does not want people to support cancer research. Or childhood literacy. hunger in America. To be fair, this person I'm not even sure what his philanthropy was. It probably was all for a party. So

Stelle 44:17

yeah, I think so Jade auctions reminded me of like a mini bachelorette party because you are with your sisters or your like other girls and everyone's and all that fun stuff.

Jae 44:28

I always liked it because boys were always nicer because they want people to bet on them. True. But then again, they should just always be nice. also true,

Stelle 44:35

but they're not. I liked it though. When they did show off the sweet side where it's like I'm gonna take so and so to like a picnic or I'm gonna bring them to a soccer game and you can kind of get what their interests were sometimes firefighters. Oh,

Jae 44:49

that was a good one. That was a great one. I forgot about that. Okay, so, also a firefighter as a firefighter, everybody. Oh, you said you had a bad day party story for us. I'm ready for

Stelle 45:00

Okay, so my first bid day ever like fraternity bid day week? I was sick. I was sick everyone. I do you guys remember that? Maybe you do. j? I don't know. Maybe not. Okay. So I was obsessed with the clam chowder that was in the dining hall.

Angela 45:17

Oh, no.

Stelle 45:19

And that should be enough End of story. No. So I would like eat that up every time it was out. I loved it. I love seafood. And so I ate it the week of fraternity bid week. And I was I think it was the date that like the night that I couldn't go out. clam chowder is usually served on Fridays. Yes. So I had that and I went back to my dorm and I everyone was like texting me or whatever. Facebook however, we communicated back then I'm sure it was like texts and all that stuff. And they're like, oh, we're gonna go to this party. Then we're gonna go to this one. Like, what are we all wearing? I think we used that group SMS. You remember that? It was like that texting app where you could text 30 people group me. Yeah. So anyways, I was all excited. And then my stomach started grumbling. And I was confused. And I went to the restroom. And long story short, I got food poisoning. Oh, yeah. And so I was up in my bunk. And I was like, vomiting. Sorry, everybody if I was sick, and my roommate was gonna go out because she was in our sorority at the time. So she got invited to go to these places, too. And I was like, No, no, wait for me. I was like, No, no, I'm still gonna go out like wait for me. You guys are like, let me just change or something. But ever after every like sentence I you know, be sick. So long story short, I had to stay home and I kind of cried about it, I think but my roommates took care of me. And then I think I saw everyone's pictures or like, snapchats of them having fun and all these parties. And I was like, No, I was sick. I think that whole weekend, so I couldn't really go to anything. So that's my bit day story

Angela 46:53

a bit day that I always go back to is my second year Angela? No. All 15 was your third year or fourth? Yeah. Third year. Fall. 15 was your third year. Oh, no. Fourth. Yep. So my second year? Nope. You're learning third year? My third year Angeles fourth year final answer. It's the one where where the god waddles. And everyone comes to me, because it was the first time we had a plan. Fortunately, I think we had two cars, Sal was one of our lovely DVDs along with our other friend. And we had new members with us. So we got to like we went full out and it was the one time people because we had a car I could fully change my outfit for each party. And I think we actually ended up hitting four or five parties. Oh, I will call and just a little while for this. I remember we were trying to obviously with new members we want to please them we want them to get to go where they want so the group ended up splitting in half because Angeles little really wanted to go to this one fraternity party for the rest of us were like no cuz she had like one friend in her hall or she actually knew like one of the new members in this fraternity and she really wanted to go, oh, Angela's car got drunk there. We went to somewhere else. We had more fun. So yeah. Oh, yeah. No, we went to that party. And literally, it was it was not fun at all. They were pretty mean. And I was very concerned because my little started college young she was still taking well, like everyone starts college at you were 17 I was extra baby like sure. Yeah. Well, I don't know. She She seemed very extroverted. She seemed she seems very extra baby. That's what I'm going. So like, is she like walked in and immediately she is swarmed by these guys who I know to be fifth and sixth years, and she just seems so tiny to me. So I wrap my finger in the strap of her dress in the back and I literally just follow her around that way. And anytime I start to lose a grip on it, that's when I like snap back to attention and I'm right behind her like death glaring at this guy that's pulling on her. I like that technique. It works. I still I use it when I go to clubs to when I have I don't that's one thing that gets a little weird, especially when people are like intoxicated and everything and like you don't really know it's like when they're saying like stop. It's like Do they really mean stop? Or is it a playful stop? But so I'm just like, if I have like a hand on you or something and I can feel you start to slip away. That's when I know like I need to find a way to like bring you back. That makes a lot of sense. And I think that is the one thing that was very, very clear about that I saw very true and some not all but some fraternity men It was very clear how much they loved when new members would join and not for their new members for our new members. Yeah, that was bid day. That was night. We are now moving to my favorite time of everything as we did already a whole dedicated episode. This is dangerous and dangerous game. Okay, eight out of 10 recommend free though I have no idea like a robot. No, you're good. You're okay. It's always a little like baffling to me because we went to a place where dangers are so common because we had excellent weather and access to pools and all of these great amenities to make them public. But I feel like everyone needs this experience. I agree. Great. Well, what was your either first stage or your favorite danger? A few words maybe to drop something off, but a hot tub. Any stories you'd like to share? Oh,

Stelle 50:13

yeah, hopefully my audio will cut out this time, but I love dangers. 10 of the 10 will advocate for dangers. I'm kind of sad that they don't hit the same now that I'm older. But I don't know if that's just because of the French friend group dynamics. I mean, my friends are still fun now, but I'm not sure if it was just because in college, we were like, young, we were having fun. And now as adults, it might just be like, I'm not trying to get a hangover.

Angela 50:43

Like, especially on the weekend, like everyone starts to worry about the Sunday scary is one

Stelle 50:47

of them. Is that soup, or that people soup? Do you remember it was like literally like 12 people stuffed in a hot tub. I was taking a guy tossed me out. Oh, that's why that's why I was in the soup. Yes. But that was fun. I think that's I'm not sure if it was that party. But I think that same party, I was on a surfboard in the pool. Some guy threw me in the pool. Yes. I took a picture with a guy outside of the pool. It was a great time. I don't know that day was fun. And I think Uber prices were cheap because it was during the day.

Jae 51:22

I feel like didn't everyone who bought on the surfboard get like a skin reaction. I wonder if I did or I never noticed, but I feel like people who were caught on the surfboard, I did not get on the surfboard.

Stelle 51:34

And surprisingly, you know what I might have? I think it might have just been like rubbing against the board like your leg. Maybe that's what it was. Because I had I think that's what it was for me.

Angela 51:42

I know some people reaction. I was like, that's not cute. But I was one of my favorite houses. I fell there twice, I believe. To be fair, they had tile, they had tile and I was coming down from the bathroom and I yeah, those floors would get so slippery. But okay, can we also take a minute and talk a little bit about the floors during frat parties? They're disgusting. You will ruin your shoes. You will not go barefoot. I've heard about girls doing this. Do not do this. You Yeah, one of my friends was telling me that at the school that she went to in the south, like the girls would wear their cute shoes. But when they got to the door of the frat house, they would take them off so that they wouldn't ruin them. But then they're just standing in the gross sness. I mean, maybe they're not all as gross. But if you have like a house or whatever venue like I know, it's like she said her toes would squish ale it happens. It's gross don't do actually. But

Stelle 52:33

you know what, I think that happens more at nighttime parties than it does in the daytime. Oh, I mean, I feel pretty sticky in the daytime, where you're stepping in the day people can see the mass. Yeah, you can see where you're stepping and then you can see the mass. So people are like, Okay, I'm gonna avoid it. I'm gonna clean it up but at night, whatever. Good luck but also I think I love dangerous because a lot of the times it was before like big event or like concert or something and something about just being in the sun being able to see people I think it just made it kind of nice because you can see what's going on. You can see who to avoid. And you could take cute pictures. So

Jae 53:08

I'm all for bathing suits, pools, nice tropical themed drinks, ice otter popsicle. illusions. Yes. Speaking of style, one of the parties we always refer back to as one of my highlights and probably of my college experience. Probably not for everyone else. I mean, everyone was similarly to me. I just crashed harder and first party with ice delusional water guns with the shots in it. What do you remember about that day? Can you retell us that story from your eyes as our lovely designated driver and I can

Stelle 53:41

so I remember picking everyone up. I think it was like the four of us, right? Just the fourth.

Jae 53:46

It was us plus five of us and Angela's dorm friend, and Angela's little. And Angela, we had going across the view we'd enjoy across the three of them. Yep. I was in the front.

Stelle 53:59

Okay, well, anyways, I remember going and then showing up to the front door. And I remember them being like, I don't know if this is in my imagination, or this is how it went down. You guys can't come in unless you take shot or whatever. And they had like handguns outside maybe they didn't say it that way. But like in my head, it's memorized like that. I think I remember being like clashing my keys and like I'm the DD and I think I might have gotten away with not taking one but I don't really remember. So we were pretty respectful. Yeah, I don't think so. And then we see that they have an ice lusion one of the like, one of the living rooms, whatever. And that was pretty cool because I've never seen one nor done one. And I was kind of mad, not mad, but I was like, oh man, like the day that I'm driving like they have this this is so cool. But I think I was able to just sneak a little sneak a little peek at it and like be next to it when you guys were doing some of this stuff. So that was pretty cool. And then we went outside and there was pool. So people were in the pool. And you guys were having a great time I was being responsible. I think like at that age, I think it was our junior year. Yeah, right. I think at that age, I still wasn't comfortable to the point of like, knowing Oh, I'll take one drink. And because you know, as an adult, it's like, oh, if I take one drink and drink water, I'll be fine to drive. I think at that point, I was like, no, it's either like I stay completely sober or I'm gonna black out. So I still didn't understand my myself at that time, because we're having a great time. We were taking pictures, I think, because I have a lot of pictures all day

on whose phone?

Angela 55:36

Yeah, my photos,

Jae 55:38

my phone because you guys all had your phone in the car. That's right, because we did what I saw you might have had your phone. But I know, Angela. I know several of our lovely ladies left their phones in the car because they didn't want them to get wet. Oh, that's right. My phone was in my pictures.

Stelle 55:55

I think my phone was with me to just like in case he took some great pics, and everyone was having a great time. And I was talking to some people. And then like at the end or when we're about to leave, like I don't know what happened. But like things just kind of went a little sideways. But I wanted to make sure that you guys were all okay. So luckily, there was a nice gentleman there who was kind of helping you all out and then kind of told me what was going on. And then like, we escorted you out to my car. And I think they gave us like a plastic bag for purposes that we are aware of. And I don't know that's pretty much it like that clear. I did not throw up and students didn't not well, that's that's where my next point was coming. And I was gonna say I remember driving us to get food. I think it was KFC. I was no, no, no,

Angela 56:44

we weren't. We were in your first run home. You did make a sec, or was it just me? I thought so. So no. So we so the three of us left, I put you in the apartment, then I went with still to go get the food. But then I think that I either had like adrenaline or something going on that was suppressing everything that I was feeling. And then when stelle dropped me off back at our heart when all of a sudden everything hit all at once. Oh, no. I was fine. I was like I was well, but I made it into the apartment. But then I slipped or I tripped or something and I ended up on the floor. The food was okay. But then I couldn't make it to Jay and I couldn't do anything else. So then I had to call someone else to them come and take care of the two of us. But then how did Olivia still have to go back to the party and pick up Olivia? You? That's what I was good. Yeah. Use your food. How to deal with open your food bag. No, that wasn't me. No, I know. But like all of you throw up in a paper

Stelle 57:44

bag. Oh, okay. Yeah, it was girl. I remember that. Yeah, so that was my point. So I don't remember that. But I do remember a certain friend of ours full of Mojo's and I think chicken. And I wasn't really mad that she I mean, yeah, that was the first time someone did that in my car. And it kind of did make a little bit of a mess. But I kind of was like, I think this happened to me on my birthday. So it's kind of what is it a karma but like in a not in a negative way. Just kind of like, Oh, that's life. And so I think I was more mad at the fact that she did it in in the food instead of like, outside. Like, I think I was telling her like don't don't do it in the food. Just do it on the side or something. But she, you know, she this went for it. person. Yeah, I think internally I was like not the chicken. So but the nice thing was that a sister who went out with us or who I was going to hang out with later or something. She helped me clean up the mess in my car. That is nice. And she was really supportive. Yeah. And so I wanted to let our friend know like, it's fine. It happens. Like I vomited in someone else's car on my birthday. Yeah, we've all been there. So it doesn't bother me to this day. But I still am like, no, it's always associated. It's always associated with that day, which I get. It's still a fun day, though.

I

still liked it.

Jae 59:07

I'm very fortunate. One of the very, very nice gentlemen in this fraternity who we were all different degrees of friendly with was so helpful on this day. And then he did ask me about it a few weeks later, when I saw him on campus. I said yeah, he's like, oh, like, do you remember anything else? Like No, I remember go into your party had fun. Or at first she's like, hey, definitely had some fun with that. Yeah, cuz he was like, do you remember like, yeah, you were in like the philanthropy event with like, our friend or sister and then he's like, Yeah, do you worry for anything else? Like no, couldn't couldn't recall what that was? But I think we all had some good times. Every

Stelle 59:43

time people pulled that line, like, Oh, do you remember or like whatever I would kind of panic and be like, what did I do? Usually it wasn't anything super serious, but I would still have a mini heart attack.

Jae 59:53

I know. That's the one thing I'm glad like I no longer have to wake up and check my like Instagram stories or Snapchat me of what did I post Really delete things I fortunately don't think I ever had to do that but I think looking back and now being adults and having to pay for our own alcohol I think we drink more responsibly and don't do that. But for anyone young fun baxton wax in college going into college for who wants to be responsible a few tips we have I see like a light piece of bread or crackers beforehand I don't think meals I personally for me I can never drink and eat Mexican food again because I had one real bad incident but I sit with the light meals not something too acidic I think some bread or like a slice of pizza you need to have something in your stomach but I wouldn't say you need to have a whole meal in within two hours chicken and avocado are actually supposed to be the best things that you can eat before you drink because it'll give you like good sustenance and yeah the good fats from the avocado for you are supposed to be helpful but then also have your meals ready after like I got to be a pro at this and I could just order and time food to be delivered back to my apartment right as I was getting back from parties but also we don't even really need to do that anymore with the advent of doordash and Uber Eats and everything because you can time that delivery already

Stelle 1:01:06

Yeah, I was a big chicken tender Queen so I would always be my little chicken tenders in the bathroom getting ready or sided with low potato salad although I think they might not be good to do potato salad because I don't know but chicken can for sure definitely helped out a lot

Angela 1:01:22

oh and then I think also just knowing your knowing your limits your boundaries setting some setting a goal for yourself I'm gonna cap myself at three drinks tonight and then just like kind of like having that number in mind and you know maybe you want to change it maybe you don't but it's just something there to help keep you a little bit more responsible and accountable for what you're doing see more than that for me is pacing your drinks more than having a number because I think the thing for me one of the night when I was a yield freshmen not even 18 yet probably when this often I would I walked into a party and people allegedly again under 18 so allegedly this could have happened as sisters would show up to the party as soon as they saw me there. Let's take a shot and that happened about four times in the span of 10 minutes because more sisters were just coming into the party so for me it was a thing of like yes, you should count but also pace like I think if you want to get like pretty good i don't know i mean maybe if you have a much better tolerance than me but I don't think most people to very quickly and then like let that sit for like 30 minutes to an hour and then go back or what I started doing my senior year because I've noticed other sisters doing it is they would actually bring their own drinks to the party. So though Yeah, anything that was offered to them like they'd have a flask or like a mug or something like kind of all set up with like their pre mixed drink which maybe had alcohol maybe it didn't feel like they are good for the night. Probably did Yeah, probably. You know probably did probably were over 21 probably did only if they were only if they were over 21 but I think that's all

Stelle 1:02:53

mine too. Oh no, you're good water is my best friend only because I feel like in college I pretended like water didn't exist when I would go out and go out drinking and partying and all that stuff. But now as an adult I'm like okay, if I have X amount of I don't really do the number of drinks either I guess it's just momentum but there comes a point where I'm like, Okay, I need to have water because I don't want to get dehydrated and also just kind of helps slow me down and not get too crazy. Yeah, and then Gatorade Pedialyte, fruit juices,

Angela 1:03:23

milk, all the things that I have really great rehydrating properties but also aren't water if you've had a little bit too much to drink because if you don't know this water is actually a an emetic. And so if you have too much of it in congruence with alcohol, you will throw up if you want to avoid that. And that is a recommendation not actual medical advice. Yes. Unless you would like to know, let's not do that. Do your own research into it as well. But

Stelle 1:03:51

yeah, even if you want to skip drinking, or if that's not your thing, it's always fun to just go somewhere sober and have a soda have juice because people don't know what you're drinking in that red cup and you can access it. No, I'm just kidding. But sometimes I would add and people would come up to me Yeah, people would be like, Oh my god, are you drunk? You're drunk. Ah, and I would be like I have to show them my keys and be like no, I'm driving I'm just having fun so you know whatever works for you.

Jae 1:04:18

I remember Angela told me you have to not drink water thing and it works for me so I believe the science behind it but either way like placebo Li like my mind's like okay, don't drink water just drink juice and if you drink juice you'll feel better and I normally feel better but I think definitely drink don't drink I think it is important if you're someone who likes to go out and likes to socialize and likes to drink to be able and to every so often like all duel I'll detox myself is what I call it and I'll go out a few times with no alcohol around my friends who drink because I think I don't want it to ever feel like a crutch to me. When I go out that I can't have a good time. That happened a little bit my senior year. Honestly, I was going out a little bit i think i think i'm not drinking excess amount even sometimes more even one drink but it's thinking like I go Their first I don't want to say like, I feel like I need it. And it's like that song great to do it, especially for social environments. I stopped drinking for like six weeks a month or something. And then I was like, Okay, I can go to a party and be around my friends who are drinking and be okay with it and not feel like super anxious have social anxiety or anything, which probably was real social anxiety more just like nerves. I think it's good to be able to do both. Yeah, and I think especially when you find yourself in a situation like that, like sometimes it's not even about Oh, it's like I need the drink. It's just that you might need something to do to make yourself feel a little bit more comfortable in a situation maybe something to do with your hands. I know something that I did fairly frequently is I would actually show up to a party with food. So I would be holding either my to go cup of soda or maybe the fries or the last like three or four times on my party. And I'd eat those as I was walking in and like settling in and like the first 10 minutes and it was just it was something that made me feel a little bit more comfortable. I think the thing for me with going out now is if I'm not drinking, I feel it's a waste to order something other than water. Like I don't want to pay for juice or I don't want to pay for a mocktail because they're so like eight to $10 apparently that's too expensive for juice. But what I realized is it's important to buy the mocktail instead of the cocktail because if I'm restricting water, I feel more like other than less in it with my friends. So even if I am choosing to I need to be willing to spend the money for the inclusion even I'm not drinking like I normally would just go out and drink water. My friends are just like do shots or get like bowls or a bunch of things that I feel very much Oh no, I'm over here. I'm drinking water when I could have just gotten like I had a virgin Moscow Mule recently that was really good. So like being willing to spend the money on Oh, or even sometimes like you don't have to like maybe your party has spent so much on alcohol that they will just give them to you for free. I know we can get charged for pineapple juice. I know. Nice. Yeah, we went out two weeks ago and last week we went out last week and our in what we ordered like three or three bowls. One, two different bars.

Angela 1:07:03

Okay,

Stelle 1:07:04

yeah, that sounds fun. I made that choice. Yeah. So there you go. As long as you pace yourself because lately I'm like, Oh, I don't feel anything. And then like, there comes a point in the night where it's like, bam, I get hit like a train. And it's like, oh, I was I thought I grew past this phase. But I guess I still need to work on it. So it just gets worse pay sir. So. So thank you for coming on. We loved having this chat with you. Thank you for having me. It's always good to reminisce. I can be on future episodes on topics because I love to talk Hello Of

Jae 1:07:37

course we'd love to have you back on oh yeah no be what watch your inbox you'll get an invite imminently

Stelle 1:07:44

I will and all strategically I'll strategically choose somewhere else to do this, so I don't keep cutting and hanging up. No,

Angela 1:07:52

you're totally fine. I've had worse recordings with just Angela Yeah. Oh, my my setup is so inadequate, like I've made the bar very low for everyone else. So

it's gonna be it's always been Yeah, okay,

Stelle 1:08:05

well, yeah, it's been an honor and I'm excited. Oh, no, go ahead and finish because then I'm just gonna sign this out.

I will be surprising y'all with merge soon or something because I'm your biggest fan you guys I feel like I won and radio contest and I was on you know, the host show whatever for like entering a contest. That's how I feel. So thank you very much for having me. Yay.

Angela 1:08:25

Thank you. And on that note, thank you for listening to this episode of in Omnia paratus grab your coffee bowls. And don't forget to rate download and follow Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts as always where you lead will follow. So head on over to @inomniapod on Instagram and let us know what you'd like to hear about in the comments. By

Jae 1:08:47

It's not four years. It's four life.

Stelle 1:08:49

Yay.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai